Should I call him again or is he just not interested?

[justagirl1121]

Oh, I soooooo analyze things to like the nth degree!!!! When I get real busy and can't talk on the phone for more than a few minutes, I usually opt to text.

 

All I can say is I worried adn worried and worried....and Friday night for me was GREAT. Some things finally changed.....but my crush doesn't want a relationship at this point in his life.... So, even though I finally got some of what I wanted.....I still don't know where things are supposed to lead from here....this stuff is so completely confusing!!! I never thought it was going to be this tough!!!! Watching from afar it seems so easy!!!

[phyrespryte]

I guess the thing that bothers me is the c-ya part. Why not say talk to ya later?

 

 

I think it's great that he texted you it means that he remembered you. So I wouldn't be too hard on him for not calling. And c-ya was probably easier for him. I wouldn't stress so much about it, because like you said he was moving. And to me it seems like he's thinking of you.

 

I'm not sure what you should do next since I suck at this take initative thing. But... I think (keyword think) that give him a little time to settle in and if you don't hear from him...ask him out.

[phyrespryte]

So, even though I finally got some of what I wanted.....I still don't know where things are supposed to lead from here....this stuff is so completely confusing!!!

 

 

Well it sucks that he doesn't want a relationship. But at least now you know for a FACT that likes you. And I really admire you for telling him what you're about.

 

I guess the only thing you can do now is just be friends. Or just keep hanging out with him and see what happens. I'm not sure.

[phyrespryte]

Oh well. So this day has been a little disappointing, but only because I had been building it up too much.

 

But here's the most recent stuff in my wannabe love life...

 

Me and match.com guy are friends now. He doesn't have a girlfriend. And I've been told by another friend that naked twister = drunken twister and since he doesn't drink it's not drunken twister it's just plain twister.

Whatever. I believe him and it doesn't really matter anymore.

 

I saw the foreign guy the other day and he stopped to talk to me for a millisecond. I was so happy and bummed at the same time. And tonight I was hoping that I'd see him, but I didn't.

 

Anyways I can't just post a depressing post like such!

 

A friend has suggested that I get ballsy and put up a sign on the school bulletin board for him. It should say Foreign Guy...Haven't talked to you in awhile, give me a call @ 123-4567 -Phyrespryte

 

What do you think? Is that psycho? Desperate? I think if a guy did that for me I'd call just because I'd be surprised that someone would do that. I'd actually be kind of flattered. But then I don't know if that would just make me look desperate.

[sunshine2627]

Phyrespryte, if I were you I would not put a sign on the bulletin. It might freak him out a little bit. I know this is easier said then done but I think you should just ask him if he would like to hang out sometime. Maybe get a group of friends together or something and invite him. That is what my friends always tell me to do. That way it won't be uncomfortable for either one of you.

 

Justagirl, I am sorry your crush only wants to be friends. I know how you feel and it sucks! If in fact you know he likes you then go with the flow and see where it goes from there. I think that starting out as friends first is probably the best way for a successful relationship. Then again what the hell do I know? At least that is what I tell myself but it is always hard when you have feelings for the person.

 

As for me, tomorrow will be day 3 but who is counting. I still have not heard from him. This is not a good sign. What gets me though is why did he say the things he said? Was he trying to get me to sleep with him? I am replaying conversations and actions and I do not know what happened. My head is spinning so fast I do not know what to do. The thing that sucks is I can still smell his colonge on my pillows and blankets. I mean here I thought I actually met a decent guy and now I think I picked another bad apple. I may give him a call tomorrow night. I do not know though.

 

One of my friends told he thought it sounded fishy. He thinks that he should have picked up the phone to call me instead of texting me. Only b/c we just met and are in the beginning stage. He also said something about if it was so nice to hear my voice and everything else why did he not call.

 

This is really starting to take a toll on me though. In one of my first posts I mentioned the possibility of him doing crank. I never found out whether or not he does. He probably was and that is why he was attracted to me or whatever you want to call it. Yeah I am beating myself up right now. I am just so daggone frustrated.

 

I am told that guys like the chase. Well I hate playing these games! I feel like I am in high school again. Maybe I said too much or maybe not enough. I went to the library over lunch and checked out "He's Just Not That In To You". If he was truly interested in me he would call.

 

Now with the whole apartment thing. I am not sure what his living arrangments were. I do not know if he was living w/ his parents, w/ friends or in a house of his own. Anyway, if he lived in a house of his own there is no way he can just pack his things up and move into an apartment. He never told me that he found an apartment. He just talked about finding an apartment. Most leasing offices are not open on Sunday. There are some but not many. Even if he found one that was open, his paperwork would have to be processed and mostly he would have to wait until he was able to move in. Most places are at least a couple weeks if not a month before a person can move in. Maybe an apartment was available to move in right away but I highly doubt it. I will give him the benefit of the doubt until I talk to him again, that is if I talk to him again.

 

Yes, I fell hard for this guy. Like I said, I thought he was going to be different than the guys I have met in the past but evidently I was wrong once again. Maybe he is being hesitant? Maybe he do not want to take the chance of getting hurt again? He is going to miss out on a good one if he does not but what can I do?

 

Well I will quit writing for now. My eyes are getting tired and I have not had much sleep these past few days. Tonight has been the worst. Sorry for such the long post again. I guess I had a lot to say AGAIN.

[phyrespryte]

The thing that sucks is I can still smell his colonge on my pillows and blankets

 

 

Wait...what happened there?!?

 

He thinks that he should have picked up the phone to call me instead of texting me

 

Reasons why I think it's not a big deal:

1. He was moving and didn't have time to actually talk to you.

2. He might be one of those people who are really uncomfortable talking on the phone.

3. He still remembered you.

 

In one of my first posts I mentioned the possibility of him doing crank...

I went to the library over lunch and checked out "He's Just Not That In To You". If he was truly interested in me he would call...

Now with the whole apartment thing...

 

Crank!!! Maybe I'm wrong about this. But I think that right now you're looking for something wrong with him. You've become like a detective. And I think the reason for this is because you're afraid to get hurt. Especially since things aren't moving like you think they should. And it's not wrong to be on guard like that.

 

I mean you just met this guy. The only way to know more about him is to spend time with him. So it's your choice to call him and ask him out again.

 

I also think that's it's not good that he didn't call you the 2nd time. It just shows that he has bad manners or that he's not willing to put a lot of effort into developing a relationship with you. Or maybe he's just careless. Anyhow, I think you shouldn't put your life on hold for him and that you should make your own plans for the weekend and have a great time.

 

Call him on Monday and let him know about the wonderful time that you had. Then when he says that he wishes he could've been there. Let him know that you hadn't heard from him all week and had you known you would've invited him.

 

Hopefully you won't have to go there when you call him. And the first thing he'll say when you call is an apology. Then you can let him know that he missed out on a lot.

[Jey Dey Dey]

Justagirl- He likes you, he's at ease with you too because he acts silly around you. He also knew he was moving so although he liked you and called you he didn't want to string you along, get serious and than move because he knew it would hurt you and he didn't want that.

 

It sucks he moved but you got one thing going for you, he liked you and will continue to call you. You should also call him once a week. Live your life, work and date. Sometimes great relationships begin as friendships. What do you want? For you guys to start going out now? It's not time yet. He wants to get to know you and you have to get to know him. So call him, in a month or so when things are more solid and you have talked on and off say that you might go to where he lives, I don't know a concert? visiting a friend or relative? See how he reacts to that, whether you really are going for it or not. Who knows he might want to hook up. Otherwise just keep him a friend and one day it'll happen if it is meant to happen.

 

Phyrespryte- I worked with guys, spents all day with them and it was cool while we were at work. However, I just couldn't see myself hanging out with them outside of work. If I really liked him and had a crush them yeah, but someone I wasn't sure of I would probably say something like yeah let's hang out, call me. So as not to hurt their feelings and because who knows maybe I'd go through with it. I think that is what your ex-crush was going through. Plus if he went to see his ex he still feels something for her and is confused. He doens't know whether to go back with her or to date, so he does what he knows, go drinking with his buddies. Don't be the one that figures it out for him, forget him.

 

As far as the other guy don't do the bulletin thing. An the guy that invited you to a party that he didn't even know when it was going to be does like you. He was already wanting to spend time with you and figured the party was a good place so he invited you right there and than.

 

This thread is very long. I think I got it all.

 

Girls just play it cool. Guys aren't really into texting so if you dont get one back, oh well. If he calls awesome. If he tells you to call him it's probably because he wants to know if you actually will, if you are interested. You call like he asks but he disses you, than next time he pulls that say that you did, but he didn't and you're not going to. And don't.

[sunshine2627]

I guess I should have explained the colonge smell. He stayed at my apartment but slept on the couch. That went along with he isn't that type of guy that is just out looking for sex.

 

If in fact he is or was moving that is fine and I completely understand being busy. I just think he fed me a line of crap b/c I seriously doubt he was able to find an apartment in just one day and move in this week.

 

You could very well be right and actually you are. Most of my friends tell me all the time that I am looking for something to be wrong with them. I guess when I made that whole comment I was putting myself down. He was probably on it the night we met and the night we hung out. That's all I was really saying. It was a horrible night last night.

 

Yes I am afraid of getting hurt again. I am very jaded. One of my friends told me the other night that I have changed and he said that I am not the same girl he met a few years ago. I guess I am just used to spending time with someone when you first meet. Maybe that's where it went wrong in previous relationships. I have been told to go with the flow and take things slow. If it's meant to be it will be. I hate that saying the most!

 

Yes it is my choice to go out with him again to maybe to call him. But it wouldn't hurt for him to pick up the phone either to call me. Know what I mean. If he is really interested.

 

Quote "I also think that's it's not good that he didn't call you the 2nd time. It just shows that he has bad manners or that he's not willing to put a lot of effort into developing a relationship with you. Or maybe he's just careless. Anyhow, I think you shouldn't put your life on hold for him and that you should make your own plans for the weekend and have a great time"

 

I don't think that it's a good sign either that he didn't call me. I also agree that it is bad manners. He may very well be guarded too and maybe I freaked him out a little b/c I am different than the girls he has met? I'm not putting my life on hold for him. I played volleyball last night and there's a girls night out Saturday so we'll see.

 

I hope you are right that he'll call and apologize for not calling sooner. A part of me says that he won't but ya never know right? Sometimes I'm like talking to a brick wall. I'm very stubborn and need a lot of convincing when it comes to this sort of stuff.

 

This is helping though talking and getting advice and others opinions.

 

So, Phyrespryte what are you going to do about Mr. Foreign Guy?

[justagirl1121]

Ok, there's a lot to go through here...

 

Sunshine...

I'm learning, there's no telling what a guy will do...apparently, they are a totally different species from females. I hear that guys in general aren't big phone people. I see that as sort of true. I've also heard that if a guy likes a girl, he will make the effort to be there.....say you invite him out...he'd come...I guess in my thinking, i'd try to make every effort, no matter what stood in my way, to go where he invited me....tho this can depend on age too and your freedoms...

 

Now, I don't know what kind of lifestyle you live....I don't think I could handle a guy who wasn't clean cut...and hopefully his habits are in the past. Maybe he will call...maybe he won't...but you could always give him a call and just ask how he is, see how he reacts on the phone....if he seems glad to talk to you, by the tone of his voice and such...you may not be able to tell right off, but looking back on the convo, you might be able to get some idea.

 

Was it you who said you don't like the chase? I don't like the chase either! I hear some like it, some dont....I don't like it....I'm not good at the game at all. I think I come off as shy and like "don't invade my personal space or I'll kill you".

 

I wish I could follow the advice I'd like to give people, which is JUST BE HONEST AND COME OUT AND SAY WHAT YOU MEAN! But, I can't...I try.....ugh...

 

Phyrespryte....I wouldn't put a note on the board either...that might get a lot of unwanted attention...did you ever manage to get his number? I'm beginning to see that just because it doesn't happen right away, doesn't mean that there's no hope. Sometimes people just need smacked over the head to wake them up. Maybe there is someone out there talking about US on this LJ and we have no idea they exist, yet they are in our circle somehow...maybe not necessarily a friend, but some sort of acquaintance.....I vowed not to give up on mine, and look where it's gotten me, so just keep trying!!! Someone has to try!!!

 

Jey.....my crush hasn't moved yet.....since like Feb 05, he's been wanting to move, saying he was moving in Aug 05...and he kept pushing it and pushing it...and now he's just as adament about moving by the end of January as he was that he was moving at the end of October, November, and December.

[justagirl1121]

Justagirl, I am sorry your crush only wants to be friends. I know how you feel and it sucks! If in fact you know he likes you then go with the flow and see where it goes from there.

 

Actually, some stuff did happen. I don't know if he wants more or wants to be friends....i thought..if he'd ask me out i'd know what was going on! then when he sorta did, i was still like omg, im so confused....then i thought if he'd just kiss me or something, then i'd know for sure, and again.....im still confused!!!

 

here's the post where everything has been laid out...u can check it out if your interested....

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=675767#post675767

[phyrespryte]

Jey Dey I have to say thank you for reading this post and for your view of things. I'm really amazed that you read it since it's ridiculously long.

 

Anyways, what you said about the guy I work with, I think is spot on. I wish I had understood that a couple of months ago. I still like him and working with him doesn't make it easier to forget. But I am trying to move on.

 

Oh and I don't think I ever mentioned this, but the foreign guy is actually the same guy that invited me to the party. I probably should've asked him out back when we had classes together, but I didn't because his friend was always around and I'd feel silly about it. And then last quarter I barely saw him. So that's why I wanted to do the bulletin thing. Never got around to exchanging numbers with him. I think the idea would've seemed crazier if I barely knew him.

 

But I won't do the bulletin thing. 3 votes against it...yup best not to do it. I just don't know how long it'll be till we bump into each other again.

[phyrespryte]

I have been told to go with the flow and take things slow. If it's meant to be it will be. I hate that saying the most!

 

 

I hate that one too. I want to know everything now!

I hate waiting to see what happens, but I guess that's really all we can do right now?

 

And the phone thing...if there is anything I've been told over and over is not to put up with people who don't call when they say they will. I just can't follow that though and I end up stressing myself so bad. It's so hard when you really like that person.

 

Justagirl I definitely see that patience paid off!

I just hate waiting so much. I want to be proactive and let him know that I like him. And maybe it would help my patience if he had my # and vice versa. That would probably help things out.

[sunshine2627]

Well it looks like I am in the same boat with you girls now. My friend Christy, the girl who set Scott and I up called me tonight. Apparently, she saw him out last night. He came up to her and apologized for not calling me. She told him he didn't need to apologize to her, that he needs to call me. She told me he got this look on his face and pointed to a girl behind him. He explained to her that they have been trying to date off and on now for a year. He told her that he felt that we were better off as friends. Well yeah he is going to say that because he is more interested in this girl. Christy also talked to some other friends of ours and they told her that he is not over his ex-wife which is understandable. He is supposed to call me and tell me himself but I doubt that he does. Oh yeah he also told her that he didn't want me to think he was some prick or whatever. She told him to call me and explain to me. Okay, my question is if these two have been trying to date off and on for year and it hasn't worked, what makes him think it's going to work now?!?! Ohhhh and she was also told that him and this girl have never slept together because well of his ex-wife. They just go out, get drunk and he passes out. So what should I do now? I thought about it after I got off the phone with Christy and Im not going to give up. Im not going to be that girl who calls on the time or lurks around where I think he is going to be. I'll give him his space and maybe next week give him a call. What do you all think?

[justagirl1121]

you're guys name is scott too? that's weird!!!!

 

i dont know what u should do....at all...i'd probably feel depressed and just give up at that point....but i dont know all the little details....

 

you're saying he was with this "date" and told christy that he was sorry he didnt call you back.....while he was with that girl...? i dont know tha'ts a little weird....i dont know if he was on the spot or what since he ran into christy....

 

if you dont want to give up though, give him a call, but i wouldnt wait till next week.....give him a call on like sunday.

[sunshine2627]

Yes his name is Scott. Oh believe me it does bother me that he is with another girl but my mind is somewhat at ease. I don't how to really explain it. I guess a part of me feels like I still have a chance with him. I doubt him and this girl will work out. I could be wrong though. I honestly don't want to give up. Usually when I have my mind set on something or someone I keep trying but only to a point.

I only know what Christy told me. Scott walked up to Christy w/o the girl around. She was sitting at a booth. Apparently, he also talked to Christy's husband about this the other night. Im guessing at another bar where her husband plays. I don't think he felt like he was on the spot only b/c he approached her and he talked to Lindsey (her husband). He could have said it just wasnt going to work out. I forgot to mention that I called him Wednesday night. I kind of expected him not to answer so I left him a message. It was simple, 'Just wanted to say hi and see how you're doing. Give me a call back when you get a chance'. I guess I could call him on Sunday. I'll see how the weekend goes. You girls haven't really given up on your men right? I just feel that I shouldn't give up so easily. I don't want to come off as this crazy girl. Know what I mean.

[phyrespryte]

That's so weird that both your guys are named Scott!

 

Well Sunshine I think that your Scott might be a little like my Mr. Excrush. I think that he's still not over his ex-wife. And maybe that's why he's off and on with this girl. He's probably not ready for a relationship. And with this girl he feels safe because he can see that it's not going anywhere and he doesn't want it to go anywhere. She's probably just good for a quick ego boost or maybe a little affection here and there. And she doesn't make him feel like they have to be serious.

 

I think that he does like you, but he's not ready to get into a relationship. I don't think he even likes this other girl better. But he does have a lot to get over before you can even think of having a relationship with him.

 

I don't like the idea of giving up, but I think that he might be too much effort. And I don't know if he's worth it. It just really bothers me that he told Christy everything, but couldn't call you. He knew that not calling you was wrong or else he wouldn't have apologized.

 

I think that maybe you should forget about him? You could go the friendship route, but I think that it might be one-sided. Where you might end up being there for him more than he is for you. And in my experience with ExCrush there will be moments where you think you're getting somewhere and then moments where you feel like you mean absolutely nothing to him (and that's just the worst feeling ever).

 

For me it's not worth it, hence all the other guys making my life a mess.

But who knows? I think it might be good to stop calling him until he calls you back. Then see where things go from there. I mean who knows the friendship could be a really good thing? But I think you should try to start dating other guys. And definitely watch your heart in terms of Scott.

[justagirl1121]

2 scotts....this could get confusing!!!

 

This board has really helped me here....I don't think i'd have gotten where I am otherwise, having been giving a push in a few directions.

 

It's good to get it out too, than keep it inside where it can torment you!!!!

 

I agree a bit with Phyprespryte...seems like she's more like a rebound girl. He doesnt' know what he wants. I can see that to an extent. Here you are maybe living hte single life....you want someone by yourside, you want affection, but you don't know how taking on that new relationship will affect your time, your life, your future. You know how people can be afraid of change. That's how I feel. But I also hate the confusion, the butterflies...and being stuck in the middle of a 'i'm still single...but for how long?

 

As for YOUR scott...goodness....lol....if you feel you are really into him, and you don't want to give up, then DONT!!! Do everything in your power to find a resolution, whether it be you win him, or you lose him...you can't FORCE him (as much as we'd like to to get what we want) to be with you...and you want him to be with you because he wants to be. you want to know he's there on his own terms. But you have to be prepared to be let down if you go for it and it doesn't work out. Can you take that chance?

 

That's how I feel I am going to have to be. I think I want to risk being hurt to see if it'll work. I'm not saying I'm in love with MY scott. Personality wise, I can't get enough. Physically...well, it's there, and it's grown, and I am attracted to him...but I've seen hotter around...but I'm not a catch either, so it's not like I have any room to talk....but I really think there is a connection, and you would THINK that there would need to be no more words said. You would THINK that after this, I could tell he's attracted to me, and likes me, and that we'd hang out again and I could be more affectionate because I know how he feels, but I think I am EVEN MORE CONFUSED!

[sunshine2627]

First I just want to apologize for coming into this board and throwing it all out there. I know I haven't exactly gave much advice to either one of you. I appreciate you taking the time to respond back to mine. I will make a better effort in responding to ya'lls post.

 

We'll call my guy Scott Alan to make things easier. Oh and instead of calling me sunshine all the time, my name is Tina. Either one is fine by me.

 

Phyrespryte, you're probably right about a lot of what you said. More than likely she is the rebound and I know that if she wasn't in the picture maybe I would be the rebound girl as well. But I can't say that for sure. I know he doesn't know what or who he wants. Believe me I got an ear full today. I also know it's not a healthy way to start a relationship. I've been that girl before and I've been in Scott Alan's shoe's before except the married part.

 

I think he does like me as well. Maybe he just needs some reassuring or something. I want to call him this weekend but hopefully I can refrain and talk to him....face to face though. I have some things that I would like to say to him. Things that helped me realize that it's okay to let go and there is someone better out there. Something along the lines of that.

 

Yes it bothers me that he talked to Christy and Lindsey about everything. I hope he knows that it was wrong of him not to call me. Maybe I'll get a call this weekend or something. Don't worry I won't get my hopes up. It's a girls weekend though and we tend to get a little crazy and I tend to make drunk dials or text messages. Lets hope it doesn't come to that.

 

I would like to forget about him but it's kind of hard. I don't know why but it is. I guess maybe b/c he took such an interest in me and conversations that we had. I don't know. I always thought that starting out as friends was the best policy to having a good relationship. At least that is what I am starting to find out. I will date other guys that is if any come knocking on my door. Haven't had much luck in that dept. either. I will be guarded more if anything was to start up between us. For one, this whole mess and two, the point that he lied about moving when he really didn't.

 

Justagirl, I agree with you as well. About living the single life, wanting someone by my side and wanting affection. It's scary starting up a new relationship b/c when it's new sometimes you don't always know where it's going to lead to.

 

Yes, I feel that I am really into this guy and no I don't want to let him go just quite yet. Like I said earlier, I have some things that I want to tell him. Some helpful advice that was giving to me and some of my own thoughts. I know I can't force him to be with me. Believe me, I've been down that road too many times. I think I am finally starting to learn. I always prepare myself but it doesn't always work out in the end. B/c a big part is hoping things will work out the way I want them too. Can I take the chance of me being let down again. I don't know but I can only do my best.

 

I hate taking the risk of being hurt but sometimes you just gotta do. I did that last New Years. I laid it all out on the line for this guy knowing that he didn't feel the same in return. It was probably one of the hardest things I have ever had to do but in time it got easier. I don't know there is just something in side of me telling me to go for it. Maybe it's just wishful thinking, maybe not. I dont know. Im confused..... I need to get back to work. I am already late. Work sucks. I keep telling myself I am going to find a rich man to marry one day. Yeah probably not. You girls have a great day. Talk to ya soon!!!

[justagirl1121]

That's quite okay that you came here, it's good to know that this is common, because it used to seem like it'd be an easy thing! Boy would say "will you date me" and girl would say "yes" and that would be that!!!

 

Well, maybe the fact he did apologize about not calling you to your friend is a little positive, esp. with the other girl around. I don't think there's anything wrong with the girl calling the guy. I mean, I'm thinking a guy wants to know what a girl is thinking just as much as a the girl wants to know what the guy is thinking. Just b/c they're the guys and they're supposed to be the ones asking us out and buying us the flowers and the dinner and paying for hte stuff and being the provider is a bunch of crap. Yes, i'd like the guy to do that for me so i dont have to risk the rejection, but they're only boys and they dont have any more psychic ability than we do, and they're just as scared and confused, (as that's how they generally go thru life anyway HAHA) J/K...

 

So, maybe he's interested but he's still caught up on what's familar to him and what could be new....so if you give your Scott a call like sunday night, I'll give mine a call sunday night. and then monday we can regroup and give each other the good news!!!!!!

[sunshine2627]

Ummm, well I can't exactly call my Scott but you go right ahead and call your Scott. Lets just say last night was a bad BAD night. I had just enough, well waaaay to much to drink and well I text messaged him. It turned ugly, REAL ugle. We started fighting through text messaging. Yes I know that is real mature! I couldn't help it at the time but well I ruined whatever chance if any I had with my Scott. I am sure of it. My other friend Megan knows Scott a lot better than what Christy does. She told me to stay away from him. Said he's been in a lot of trouble in the past. He even did crank. Megan said more than likely he still does b/c it's hard to break that habit. I don't need to surround myself in that environment. I even told him what I wanted to say in person. Here's what started it all. The first text I sent was nice and the same with his. BUT he lied again! He said...'Moving, got my kids, and about half sick but things are getting better, one day at a time. You take care .' Moving? Now didn't he move last weekend I thought huh? Of course I had to question it.

I called him out and said didn't you move last weekend and I think I might have said something else. I think this is what I said next 'Was anything you said true? Don't know what to say? Be honest. I hear that works these days.' Oops. I feel like I am in high school again. Well I couldn' help it. He made me mad.

He said 'think what you what you want. No lies here. You got me wrong.'

Then I said 'Why haven't you called me back. Not trying to be hateful but just don't know.

He said, 'Simply put, working out of town, moving, kids b-day party, family issues, money struggles, just stress, life is hectic.' That bell in my head should have went off after reading that text. But nooooo it didn't. I had to keep going.

I said, 'Yes, I know that, I am stressed 2 a point but Im understanding. Not letting you off that easy. Did I mention I am hard headed. Besides you've been on vacation.'

He said, 'Anyways, no excuses. Just want to be friends. Why do I have to be a bad guy and a liar? This is why I don't date!' Hello, he lied to me!

So he pissed me off so I had to call him. He didn't answer. This is the text I sent him. 'Why don't you tell lme what you told Christy. Not mad. Think you're scared though. You can't even call to tell me. Don't blame me! You can't even answer your phone' The last text messages that were sent were mine. I said "Whatever, I am not stupid. I am not fighting through text message. With all that being said why I said all this don't ask me. He probably thinks I am nuts. Feel free to tell me that I am nuts or crazy or whatever. The reason why I sent him this next text is b/c I knew I wouldn't get the chance to talk to him and the same thing was told to me. This is what I said. 'What do you feel like when you meet people that you think are kind of fun? Do you wish you were back with Alison or get that excited to meet someone new and fun feeling? When you're thinking to yourself before you go to sleep, do you think I wonder what I will do tomorrow or I should have done that today? Point is you're breaking hearts. I would like to be the one to help you get over Alison but I know it's only if you want to. Please don't live in the past you can't change it. Please keep me in mind.' Yep I said all of that.

So this morning I sent him another text telling him that I am sorry, it wasn't me, Im not sure what got into me. Please don't be mad or hate me. Sorry again. So I probably won't be calling him for awhile if I ever do. Christy even told me him and that chick were "tonguing" it at the bar the other night.

[phyrespryte]

First off, feel free to post whatever you want. I think most of the time me and justagirl are just letting out thoughts that other people are sick of hearing.

 

I'm sorry about what an awful night you had. Sounds like we had a very similar weekend. Well not exactly. But Scott Alan is an assclown. I can't believe he just kept on lying. Like what was he thinking? That Christy wouldn't tell you what was going on? I kind of wish you didn't apologize for your drunk texts.

 

BUT only because I think that you weren't really being mean. I think you were actually nice. Especially the part about wanting to be the girl to help him get over his ex. If anyone should be apologizing it's him for being a liar. In fact kudos to you for telling him what you think! I wish I could do the same.

 

See yesterday Excrush comes into work for a little. He never works on Saturdays. And the only reason he did it was to ask me for the negatives for his pictures. Cause god forbid that he calls me back, let alone call me. I had called him two weeks ago to ask him when he wanted to meet up so he could get prints made. He never called back and said the reason was cause he couldn't afford to get the pics made.

 

Anyways, I got so mad after he left. He actually came in and assumed that I would have the negatives on me. Like I just carry them around, close to my heart, and think of him. He assumed that I wasn't doing anything that night and would be able to just go and get them for him. And worse yet he said to me that he wanted to show them to his ex/girlfriend so she could pick out which ones she liked best. WTF??? So even better...I'm going to drop everything so you can make this girl happy?. :mad:

 

 

I couldn't be totally mad because there's nothing wrong with what he was asking. It was just how he came at me. The total disregard for my feelings. The lack of respect for my time. And the fact that he just takes me for granted. I saw him on Friday. All he had to do was to ask me to bring the negs in on Saturday. Or even call me that night.

 

So what did I do? Well today I got angry again and did little things that a bitter old hag would do. Like sensor the damages. Which he absolutely hates. I took his quarters and made a gum sandwich with them. Oh and I still haven't brought him the negatives.

 

So yeah. I think I've got the immature part down. And I feel awful about what I've done. I should just talk to him and tell him to stop being an ass. But I can't.

 

So yeah I think you handled yourself really well. For being drunk I think your texts were very straightforward. In fact if you were sober they were pretty ballsy. And I wouldn't talk to him again. And if he decides to come crawling to you with an apology maybe I'd consider forgiving him. But then right now I'm just a bitter old bag.

[justagirl1121]

I agree with a lot of what Phyrespryte said.

 

Sometimes, you just have to be honest for your own sake. Tho, I have been told that is a bad idea because it can sound desperate. However, I don't think you sounded desparate. I think you just sounded pissed off for him being an ass and being shady with the whole "im moving" thing. Well, now he knows you're pissed... good! Sometimes people ignore others when they try to tell them they're pissed. They don't want drama so they pull the 'you're not mad' act and refuse to let you argue it out. I liked P's term, that's he's being an assclown.

 

And as for Mr. ExCrush. Geez....it's not like you have this secret crush on him and he has no idea! He's aware of the situation yet he's also being an assclown. Sometimes I get like that too. Whoops, I forgot to bring you what you want most because you're being a jerk! Yeah, I am a pretty mature girl but I can get pissy too! It's normal I think.

 

As for my scott (not that i own him or anything)...well, after our little makeout session that was all him last friday, he called me on thursday for a bit, but then the call got disco'd and that was that. so i called him a little while ago this evening and talked to him for like almost 20 min and then he was like 'my sisters calling can i call u back' so i can't help but get all paranoid about it. i mean....i dont think he's trying to avoid me now, cause he did call me thur and all...i want to make plans....dont know if i should tho...dont really see a big reason why not...only i guess despite what happened last week im still all freaked out that now he's like god what did i do, and will not want to go hang out...

 

so i hope he calls me back in a little bit. i'll feel much better. other than that it is his turn to call ME don't you think? Or what?

 

i so hate this crap.

[phyrespryte]

i so hate this crap.

 

LOL

 

I completely agree with you.

 

Man what a crappy weekend. But yeah I think it's his turn to call because he said he would.

 

I also don't think that he's going to start avoiding you either...well because he likes you.

 

I think he's just going to keep acting like he's always has and just be a pain to get with. So I guess you've got to let him know that you don't have time to play around like so. And I guess that's by not always being available to him.

 

Or maybe he hasn't made final plans with you because he's just trying to be careful about what he does next. Maybe because he doesn't know what he's doing or even what he wants. Which is annoying. But I'm sure he'll figure it out. I just hope he figures it out quickly.

 

Oh and I wish that assclown was my word, but I think Art_Critic or Merin used it somewhere and I just fell in love with it.

[sunshine2627]

Soooo, Justagirl, curious minds need to know did Scott call you back last night? Have you called him? I agree with Phyrespryte. I don't think Scott is going to start avoiding you. It does sound like he likes you. If you two go out this week or weekend see how it goes and if the timing feels right then maybe tell him how you feel? I guess what I mean is let him know that you enjoy his company, talking to him and would like to see more of him. Didn't you say he's moving? Where to and how far will he be from you?

 

Yeah I so hate the rules and games that go along with dating. Who decided all this? Why couldn't it be simple? I guess if it was that easy it would take the fun out of it or the anticipation? I don't know but it sucks!

 

Phyrespryte, have you talked to Mr. Excrush since Saturday? What about the Foreign Guy? Didn't you say you met someone from Match.com? How's that going? Have you tried Yahoo Personals? I used to be on both of those. I met some guys from there but never went any further than a first or sometimes second date. I can't believe that Mr. Excrush came in asking for the negatives for his ex/girlfriend to pick. If it was me in your shoes I'd probably do the same thing. I will take any cheap shots that I can get in.

 

So I got the wrath from a couple of my friends today. Both Christy and our other friend Kim e-mailed me today. Asking why I text messaged Scott. What did I say and what did he say. My friend Kim is brutially honest sometimes can be a little overwhelming but I know she does it b/c she doesn't want to see me hurt. I just felt like I was being attacked by both of them. Christy's wasn't all that bad but Kim's it home. She said he didn't owe me an explaination of why he didn't want to talk to me. I never asked for an explaination. If the whole thing about the possibility of him doing drugs bothered me then why did I keep trying with him. I told her I was giving him the benefit of the doubt. She said something about it wasn't like we were married or dating and he decided that he didn't want to be with me anymore. Well, no but I feel like he shouldn't have taken interest in me the way he did. Don't be touchy feely and try to get to know me when you have no intentions of wanting a relationship with me. Am I missing something here? I basically had to tell them that I didn't want to talk about it anymore. What it all boils down to is that I was drunk. Something else that pisses me off is that one of the girls that was trying to set me and Scott up on New Years knew he was trying to see someone! How f***ed up is that. We don't know each other all that well but a heads up would have been great.

 

Anyway, I have a date tomorrow night with a guy I met from Match.com. I guess it's a date. I am not sure what we're doing yet. We just know we're doing something. The only thing that kind of bothers me is he has two kids. I think they are somewhere between the ages of 10 and 14. Plus he doesn't know if he wants more or so that is what he say's in his profile. We've talked on the phone a few times. He seems like a nice guy. I always get nervous on first dates especially blind dates. Plus he has a degree and well I get intimidated easily. I know I am smart but I don't feel it sometimes. We'll see how tomorrow night goes. If you guys want to check him out go to http://www.match.com/profile/showprofile.aspx?lid=1000005&TP=U&UID=pioVG00bxPtJn0YG0DU%2bWg%3d%3d&Handle=greatlife69. Let me know what you guys think. Any suggestions on conversation starters?

 

Hope everyone had a great day. Maybe this week will be better?

[justagirl1121]

No, Scott did not call me back that night. Who knows why....My bff (best friend) does that too. She did that sunday night as well, and yesterday...so it's not JUST him you know....I am just thinking negatively to not get hurt I guess or try to get over it?

 

I have decided to wait again. Not do anything, let him come to me. The way I see it now, I get all these ideas, and I post them, and most of them are bad ideas, and after someone tells me why, I see their point. So, one of two things will happen. 1. I wait and he comes and either it really works out this time or we kinda take a step in the right direction to have it backfire again or 2. Nothing happens. If i am too forward, it might scare him off anyway all together. So....

 

I did tell him I liked hanging out with him. He held my hand in the car. I reallllly liked that and I kind of told him I liked that, and that I wouldn't be opposed to anything more.....so he knows......

 

As for your date! Hmmmm....if you're not sure what to say, just think of a couple things before you go. WRite them down (but don't take it with you!) so you remember them. The first thing you could ask was "How was your day?" That way he can tell you what he did, or anything that happened at work or whatever he does. If he doesn't have much to say about it, you could ask him like "anything interesting or exciting happen this week?" That should open up some stuff.

 

I have a hard time talking to people sometimes, and it's awkward when there is silence, but it happens. In my case, I'm very comfortable with my friend. And if I'm not sure what to talk about, he's pretty good at BSing and filling in the space. And some silence is actually comfortable with him. So...hopefully, you'll find soemthing like that with htis guy.

 

Geez, does he really make that much money? Yikes. Takes me like 5 years to make that lol....hopefully i can reduce the time frame lol.....anyway he doesn't look half bad but his pictures a bit dark. um, so see how it goes and try not to be too nervous. you've been on dates before!!!! have fun!!!