Should I call him again or is he just not interested?

[phyrespryte]

You bet right, girl

But I bet there're people who do. You go, girls

 

 

I doubt it, but if there are people who do...

Mad props to ya! You have an amazing amount of strength!

 

So Justagirl...

Isn't it typical that when you least expect it...the guys start noticing you? It's ridiculous! But I say enjoy it!

One day you'll tell your grandkids...I had guys fighting over me left and right!

So I think that BB sounds like a nice guy and right now you're not leading him on. And if you're not attracted to him, it's ok. You don't have to be. I think Pirate guy sounds real cute! I like that he's flirty. But I'd be a little cautious with him. Guys that have lots of female friends are um weird. Well not weird. I'd just wonder why they had so many female friends and how many of them were exes or girls that have crushes on him. You know?

 

Wow. I'm so paranoid lately. It's just that whole Steve experience kind of really f*cked my head up. It's been almost 2 weeks since he dumped me. And 9 days since we last talked. I skipped school for a week, so I haven't seen him. It sort of bothers me that I haven't heard from him, but I think that's good. I'm starting to make sense of things and I don't feel all confused and worthless anymore.

 

Like the more I think about it... It had nothing to do with me. I mean yeah, I called him the wrong name when we first met, and yeah one time I fell asleep on his arm and drooled all over it, and yeah I accidently kneed him in the balls that one night...hmm what was my point?

Basically I never pushed the relationship on him. I didn't tell him to call me everyday. And I didn't tell him that I wanted him to spend more time with me and less with his friends. So it's his fault for freaking out and not giving me a chance.

But damn he put up with a lot! Seriously though. It was fun though and I'm sure he knows it.

 

Oh well. I really hope I don't see him for awhile. I might forget all this saneness and want him back.

[justagirl1121]

Sheesh i hate boys. Today I'm feeling all icky. He mentioned on his my space that he might be hired for this great new position within the company he works for (i think that's how it goes) which = lots and lots more money, but lots and lots more time=not much time to be social.

 

I can't figure out what's wrong with me; why I can't find someone. My friend says he's probably just being careful. But are we going to like...wait for months. I'm not sure how to get like...talking on the phone part of the process. I'm afraid to be the one to call. Maybe he doesn't want me to call. You think you're head is f*ucked up? MINE SURE IS! I'm back to where I was a year ago. Today I went to visit some people I used to temp with and some others I really hadn't talked to who still work at this place. Do you know they all asked me about douche bag whose name begins with an S? I'm like geez oh man. Do they ask him about me? Probably not. Why bring it out. Kind of annoys me. Turns out...he's not all the fabulous. Now he f*cked with my head. Cant' even date a guy who i'm set up with. Im feeling in one of those moods where i should just give up before i get in any deeper. Maybe Bailey is right and i should take his advice from last year and ignore him and see if he comes running. Saw III is out...we sorta made plans to a bunch of us to go see it. So we'll see....

[phyrespryte]

Hi Justagirl.

I'm not sure the new job will mean he has less time. Did he say that exactly?

Have you heard from him since? He seems like a real nice guy. I hope he isn't a douchebag like S.

 

Last night I had a dream about Steve. I dreamt he was trying to talk to me and I was trying to get away from him. He was like, "Can we talk? I think we should give this friend thing a chance". I told him that there was nothing to talk about and that I was really busy and needed to go.

 

Weird huh? But it gets weirder. So today I finally went to school. Well not school exactly. But I was near the area because one of my projects required me to take pictures of that place. I was driving and I could've sworn I cut him off. But that's not really possible since the car was the wrong color and had the wrong license plate. Strange huh? But wait it gets stranger.

 

He called and left me a voice message. I haven't called back yet. My friend says I should call just to find out what he wants. But I don't want to bother. I know I'll be disappointed either way. And I've been doing so good lately.

 

Blah.

 

We'll see what happens if I ever run into him. I'm just trying to get my mind focused on school again.

[justagirl1121]

so i went to this haunted house type stuff last night. Been native of this city over 20 years and this is the first time i was ever there! how sad is that? anyway, i went with my friend and it wasnt too bad. some little things nag at me but over all it's not like a deal breaker. Like, i met him at his house, just making sure there weren't any more trick or treaters, and then i drove us to "station scare" and i paid for parking. now, he started to get out his wallet but i guess didnt have any cash? I was going to pay for half, but whatever. that doesn't bother me TOO much, but just enough to mention it. i dont mind paying for some things of course. i think that's only fair. i've never been good at letting ppl pay for things, but then i figured a while ago, they dont mind if i pay for them, so im going to stop worry about it. then we went to hard rock and i was like, lets go to this hard rock just so i can say i've been here. lol. it was actually a nice little set up they had! I'd never been here before! There was like a court yard that was red brick, with this long thing of little fountains that sprung up and had colors and played to the beat of songs. They had a few historical things. i was like neat-o!!! he paid for the hard rock even tho i really only had a drink, for my birthday which is tomorrow. which was nice, since i've only known him for like a little over a month and no one else seems to want to do anything for it. he got like the combo sampler, but i had like a potato wedge baked thingy. i get these things wehre i cant eat and if i try to force myself, i gag on it. i dont like that!!! then they're like, you didnt eat anything, and they're going to think im like one of those ppl who dont eat nad starve themselves! Maybe it's nerves. I guess. I don't feeeel nervous. But i cant eat.

so then we drove back and i didnt know what was going on lol cause he started to get out of the car and last time he was like giving me a hug right. so he was like 'aren't you going to walk me to the door?' so i got out of the car and he gave me a hug and kissed me. so that kind of helps explain things a bit. but this is where they all become asses and leave or get scared and run away, whatever.

 

now, if this goes further, i haven't the slightest idea what the hell to do about my parents. how do i bring it up? I dont want feel comfortable with this atttttttttttt allllllllllllllllllllllll!!!!!!! but i can't hide it either. grrrrrrrr.

[phyrespryte]

Well justagirl...should I call him again or is he just not interested?

Steve-o called and left a message two days ago. He was like...wondering where you've been.

I'm tempted to call him back, but only so I can be super mean to him. My friend says...aww he's been looking for you!

Blah. But then I think, ok I've been gone for like a whole month now. He's just now noticing? Feh. If he really wants to talk to me he's going to have to put more effort into it than that. He did say we should be friends and I have to say that he sucks at being a friend.

 

Tomorrow I have to talk to the registrar guy and the president of the school because of my attendance. I really don't want to talk to them. I had talked to the guy before about my attendance and he was like...well I'm sure we can work something out. That was two weeks ago. Since then I told him that things haven't gotten better and I think it would be best if I just withdraw this quarter. And instead of just making it simple he now wants me to talk to the president.

 

It's so stupid. Just fail me and put me on academic probation if it's that complicated! I don't flipping care. I don't want to be at this school right now. My grades are good enough that this won't be the end all for me. Ugh. Wish me luck tomorrow. I'm really not up for dealing with them.

 

Anyways, Happy belated birthday! :bunny: :bunny:

Did you do anything special for it? Hope you had a really good time.

 

As for the halloween date. Doesn't he have a car? And did you ask him out to that? I think when you're first going out with someone...usually the person who did the asking should pay for things. And then later on you can start splitting stuff. At least that's what I've heard. But at least when you paid for parking he had his wallet out. He could've just sat there looking at you. So some points for making a slight effort.

 

But the walk me to the door thing was really cute. And kisses and a hug are always good. Have you heard from him since? I hope he hasn't run off like the others. One of us has to have happy stories and it ain't going to be me.

 

Oh and the parents thing. I wouldn't worry about it. If he comes to pick you up one night. Just be like...oh Pirate boy is taking me out to dinner tonight. And when he rings the bell let them meet him and if gets real embarassing or they're talking on and on...be like oh we're going to be late for dinner! We better get going.

 

Anyways. I hope things are going well.

[justagirl1121]

Stupid Steve-O. I would see if he calls you like a second time or something. They sometimes can deserve another chance, don't you think? Not that you'll like date him, but maybe be friends if you want to. It's real easy to break trust and very, very hard to gain it back. So, I'd say he's going to work his butt off if he's genuine. Otherwise, throw him in the dumpster.

 

Part of the thing with pirate boy is, I think...that it could semi work out at the very least because since Shonna is the friend, if he is a douche bag to me, then, he'll have her to deal with to....he can't just run off and leave...you know?

 

So, I'm thinking things might kinda turn out.

 

As for the haunted house thing, he does have a car. It's like 14 years old. He's waiting for the Scion dealership to find his car (I guess a specific color) or whatever, he's waiting for it to come in...that's fine though. I don't mind driving.

 

I went to his house Sunday to watch the Steeler/Detroit game. Geez, we did so good last year, what is the flippin matter with us! Like 4 fumbles in the first quarter! And then one of the announcers left like a hocker off screen. All you heard was that sound. We were like WTF was that? Then he said that Stern played a clip of it today. LOL.

 

The way that came about was that I kinda wanted to call but was afraid. I talked to BFF in Maryland and she's like "CALL HIM." She's like "Chris says that if he were this guy, and he'd made the initiations before, then he'd be expecting you to make contact because he showed interest and is waiting for you." She made me call lol. I did though. He didn't asnwer but he called back wthin like 3 hours and he still asked me if i wanted to come down. So that, was that.

 

He has this cat, huge fat ass cat. It's so cute, friendly, and goofy. Apparently, at least, if anything is going well for me, I got the cat on my side!!! Kept jumping in my lap. After, since we didn't necessarily want him crawling on us, he'd climb up on the window, hide for a while, come out on the back of hte couch, wait for the right moment and then climb down into our laps, where we'd just roll him right off onto the floor lol. This thing tho, has like no bone, it just rolls on its back and all kinds of stuff. I like him

 

So, we kinda cuddled and stuff a little I guess. At one point he got up and he kissed me on the cheek. That was it. That was kinda sweet. He's a fairly touchy feely guy. I think that's good for me, because I'm not used to that. So it's not natural for me, cause I'm always thinking they don't want me to touch them. And I have to think too hard about it. But don't think that'll be so much an issue at this point. Good thing is, as far as that goes he doesn't appear to be in a big hurry to rush things, which I don't really want to. Just enough to have some fun, but not too much that it turns out awkward or that I at least, don't get too attached or take things the wrong way you know? If he's really interested he'll wait. So that's that. I had to tell him I had to leave lol. So he waslike "talk to you soon" and I got a text from him today about the Stern thing, but he didn't respond back to my comment. I think i'll leave him a "happy hump day!" msg tomorrow morning.

 

Good luck with the school stuff. Hope things turn out for ya! I know a lot can go on in life and it can all be very hard to take in. Can I ask, how old are you? You may have mentioned it probably. I just don't remember. Is this for your BA or masters or ???

 

I'd like to go back to school. For what, I don't know...still figureing out how to fit it all in!

[Cyndi]

Hi my names Cyndi and i saw the posting between "just a girl and the other girl and i was like i need advice too from some nice people so here it goes. I met this wonderful guy named Brian first night i met him we hung out all night just talking and stuff than we even hung out the next day talked and stuff but that day i kissed him

 

First questions" was it wrong to kiss on the second date?

 

I also left my cds in his car so i could see him again (slick move huh) but he hasn't called me or emailed me which makes me so sad cause i really like him

 

So me and his best friend jon are hanging on friday but im so worried well see Brian and if he doesn't like him he wont come or well come and not talk. This guy is so confusing plus he said, "she acts weird when she's not drunk" and know one knows if he likes me whats a way i can see him again and tell him it's okay for him just to be friend with me cuz he is so fun i just dont think he likes me

 

Sad girl

Cyndi

[phyrespryte]

First questions" was it wrong to kiss on the second date?

Nope. If the moment was there...it's not wrong at all.

I also left my cds in his car so i could see him again (slick move huh) but he hasn't called me or emailed me which makes me so sad cause i really like him

Slick indeed.

But why didn't you just call him and ask about them? Isn't that how the move works? It's not so he can contact you, but so you have an excuse to contact him. Also since the date was so recent I wouldn't worry too much about the contact thing. I mean you do have a third sorta date on Friday. Did he say that he was going to call? Because if he did and then didn't...that's kind of messed up.

So me and his best friend jon are hanging on friday but im so worried well see Brian and if he doesn't like him he wont come or well come and not talk. This guy is so confusing plus he said, "she acts weird when she's not drunk" and know one knows if he likes me whats a way i can see him again and tell him it's okay for him just to be friend with me cuz he is so fun i just dont think he likes me

I'm totally lost here. If Jon is Brian's best friend...why would he not like him? And who said that you act weird when you're sober?

Anyways, I think it's too early to know what's going on. So I wouldn't stress too much about it. The best advice I've ever gotten was this:

I think it's a good rule of thumb to not let yourself get any closer than he's allowing himself to get..

I think that applies to your situation also. Don't get too focused on this one guy. So have fun Friday night, be relaxed, and be yourself. Good luck!

[phyrespryte]

Well Justagirl...

I'm 25, I have a BA in Fine Arts. I'm going to a portfolio school for Graphic Design. No masters. But I tell everyone that I'm getting a masters because they always think I'm a crackhead when I say that I'm not. I'm at this school because well...I want a better portfolio. Plus this school is pretty up there and would look good on my resume. Someone once referred to it as the Harvard of portfolio schools.

 

So the meeting went really well. They were very understanding. They actually tried to make things work for me. They're like...do you have any work you could just turn in for a grade? That way you can get credit for the classes? But I told them no. I really couldn't create some random crap just to turn in. So now I'm sort of free falling. Trying to get my act together again. I'm pretty happy about it for some reason. Oh and it was pretty cool that the president thought I had awesome work. She's like come on! You always do great stuff! Didn't realize she still remembered me.

 

And Steve-O...

Well he actually called me twice. If he calls again I think I will pick up. I don't know if I can do the whole friend thing. But I think I'm ready to be nice again. Or maybe not. I don't know. Eck. We'll see what happens

 

Yup. Well enough rambling from me. How's things with Pirate guy? Any word after the Hump day text? Will you be seeing him again this weekend? Hope things are still going well.

[justagirl1121]

Cyndi....we need a little more info I think.

When you kissed him, what happened after that? Did he kiss you back, try to end it quick, was it just a quick peck?

 

The jon/brian thing is a bit confusing. I think you may have just been thinking faster than you were typing. Maybe you can clarify that a bit more.

 

I'm assuming this has now happened. Did he come to hang out and did you two talk? Boys can be so confusing, fun, and a lot more than they're worth sometimes lol.

 

I'm so confused myself right now.

 

So, P, good to see the meeting went well. It's hard to focus on work when all these other things are clouding your mind. I know it's hard for me to concentrate one one particular thing when all these other things are going on. So, good luck on working that out to be the best thing for you!!!

 

As for Pirate boy... i got NO response to the hump day text I left a msg on fri...i just said "what's shakin bacon" nad like 8 hrs later i got a msg that just said "crazy!" basically. I got one or two more responses. I msged him today abt the fb gamenad got 1 or 2 back reall quick. i asked if he wanted to see saw 3 and he said sure...but that he hadn't seen 2 yet and didnt know if that'd be a prob. i havent rec'd an addtl response back from that. i have no clue

 

now, apparently brooke had some one from work txting her abt wanting to talk to me and get to know me and wanted to know if it'd be a good idea blah blah. said he tries to talk to me but i seem very shy and quiet. i know who she is talking about but the only couple times over like say 6 months is when we've kinda bumped into each other and said "hi" and those niceities you deal with each and every day.

 

now the guy who sits next to me who just moved into my old seat keeps talking to me. Like 'hey, what are you doing?" he offered to share his muffin friday morning, lol. seems to be taking an interest, asking what i'm doing this weekend, etc......even said "i'm so glad you talk and aren't all stuck up like some of the others can be just staring at their screen." so that's like the first person to ever say i wasnt shy!!!!!

 

so my thing is i'm like oook all of a sudden ppl are like seeming very interested in me in some way or another....so if they all are for some unknown reason, then i'd think pirate boy would....right? so......i guess i'll just be confused while things go 2 steps forward and 1 step back until it completely blows up on me and i have to start completely over.

[Parmalat]

Hi there,

 

I'm relatively new to this site and came upon your conversation and I have to say it's ment a lot to me. Please keep it up!

[justagirl1121]

I'm really confused now. i called and left the boy a voicemail last night and i know its only been last night but i didnt get a call back. im like is he ignoring it or did he not get the voicemail?

 

then i go on myspace and i see he wrote some blog entry on dating!?! some random stuff that im not sure how to read....good or bad...i dont know....i dont know what the hell he is considering. he was kinda interested and im just not cool and he's like cya? i mean....why can't these freakin ppl tell you it's not gonna work out; they just gotta ditch you and not speakup!? and you dont like hang out like that and cuddly and kiss and just be like oh that was nothin! i mean its gotta be a little somethin? you can't just lead people on! do they just not realize that or what? see i wouldnt put anything up b/c that'd be a touchy subject with teh dating thing if you're potentially abt to date someone. i've no freakin' clue. he seemed interested and then bam nothing.

 

it's really not helping my self esteem here that i can't seem to get anywhere. why do i have a best friend who calls me alllll the time and we talk abt everythign? but i cant get a guy to even get to know me? what's so different? it just feel really bummed out

[phyrespryte]

Hi there,

 

I'm relatively new to this site and came upon your conversation and I have to say it's ment a lot to me. Please keep it up!

 

Yay! Glad that your enjoying it. Feel free to join in if you like.

[phyrespryte]

Ok I'm a hard-core blogger. Well I used to be until Steve-O dumped me. So now I'm extra cautious about what I write. BUT...still writing a blog about dating. That's so freaking weird. What is his deal?

 

To me it seemed like he was just frustrated with the whole dating process. Like he wishes he could just jump into a relationship and not have to go through all the weirdness in the beginning. Which kind of makes sense. I can relate to that. I would like just for once to get into a relationship and not have to worry if the other person likes me or not. Or worry about embarassing myself or acting desperate.

 

It also seems like he's sick of being single too. That he really wants to be in a relationship.

 

What I don't get it is why he's writing about this. I thought that you guys were dating. I'm really confused now.

 

Oh well. You called him and left a message. For sure he got it. His turn to call and I guess like Elijah said before...don't be too available? Or you could just ask him about it? Be like...what was that blog about? Maybe ask him what he thinks about your relationship to him?

 

I know that sounds really weird, but if he's all gung ho about relationships then I guess he'd be honest with you. I wouldn't waste anymore time trying to analyze him. Because that blog was just plain weird.

[Guest]

Hey all,

Just wanted to post an update (I'm the one who wrote about Tim on the previous page). Turns out the guy was being serious about the not right now but later thing. Who'da thunk it? And get this, I think it was more that he thought I wasn't ready than that he wasn't ready. Didn't see that coming at all. It was weird, he kept saying 'you're not still scared of me are you?' I don't ever remember saying I was scared of him.

 

But really though, I guess I was a bit nervous about the whole thing. He might have been right, I don't know. I never did call him, I just saw him this past weekend and things went really well, so I guess we'll see. Maybe I just needed to back off and chill a bit. Actually I just got fed up and quit trying...lol. I'm not completely sold on everything he's telling me, but I guess I'll just give it time (even though I can be as impatient as anyone).

[justagirl1121]

Hey, what's up all? Guest, I'm glad that some things are working out with the boy. All you can be is cautious. Things aren't working out for me, so I'm not too sure what to tell ya. I guess you can only do what you can do and hope it works out. If both people aren't there, then it's gonna be tricky. That's from my experience anyway.

 

People keep telling me things that are positive but i don't want to have my hopes up. My one friend who has only heard a few things is like "i'm sure he's really into you" but I just don't see it. From another guy, I was told that I need to take my turn because he showed that he was interested. So I asked him to see a movie and he was just kinda like sure.....and that was last week. Nothing. So.......im DONE i just can't do it anymore.

[justagirl1121]

yeah, so things started to get positive with like flirty txt comments but after i asked him to go see a movie and we went he for blah blah blah blah reasons said he isnt interested in a relationship. maybe we can be friends if it's not too awkward. something i cant remember the full sentence of that said something about hoping something would blossom into a relationship, something about being very cute and all.

 

another one bites the dust!!! why can't we just meet some nice guy who likes us? im soooooo glad im not alone!

[phyrespryte]

Hey Justagirl.

Sorry to hear about the just friends line.

But he said that he was hoping that things would blossom into a relationship...so it's not like he's totally giving up on things. Yup. A little glimmer of hope.

 

It kind of sounds like what happened with me and match.com guy. I think pirate boy is really attracted to you and likes your personality too, but maybe it's the shy thing? hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

 

Maybe you can give the friends thing a try? It sounds like he's kind of hoping that you'll open up to him some more. If you do the friends thing...try not to be too available for him. Disappear for a little bit and then come back.

Something like that.

 

blah my mind isn't working tonight.

[justagirl1121]

y eah i think he was hoping it'd blossom but i dont think there's hope..i think that was before. i dont know if hes being honest or if its bs. he said his cousin's wife cheated on the husband and pirate boy works with the wife and so the whole affair thing knda f'd with his head and he doesnt want a relationship. that's what happened with scott. they start thier crap and then dont want a relationship!!!!

 

maybe i will just disappear and see if he responds. then maybe in amonth be like hey how have ya been. very tired of this process. i feel like im losing time. like im 24 yet still live at home like a little kid with little kid rules. i work full time and do OT and yet i feel like im not where i need to be.

such fun!!!

[phyrespryte]

Hi Justagirl.

 

Have you heard anything from the pirate guy?

I'm not really sure what to say about your situation with him. I'm pretty confused about it as well. Actually I'm confused about a lot of things right now.

 

And I hate the living with the parents thing also. Since I've dropped out of school, I've been working extra hours and plotting my escape. So far things seem kind of hopeless. I have a little plan developed though. I'm working on paying off all credit cards. And each paycheck I put away a percentage into my savings account. When I have enough saved up for 3 months rent I plan on looking for options. But...it just seems like it'll take forever. I've also bought a whole bunch of self help books about flirting, overcoming shyness, and something for overcoming creative blocks. Blah.

 

I figure those are the two things keeping me from having a relationship of any kind. I'm too shy and I still live at home. Especially the living at home part. I'm not sure why exactly though. I mean it's not like I have a curfew, but I guess I don't feel like my own person?

 

When I was in Europe...that little bit of independence made me so much happier. Being here is just stressful. I guess if you can find a way to move out...I'd go for it. I'm sure you'll be much happier.

 

As for the whole dating thing...I've decided to not worry about it for now. If someone comes along...maybe I'll give it a chance. Probably not. I'm such a freaking mess right now. I don't want to deal with another person screwing with my head.

 

Oh well. Hope you're having a good week.

I seriously can't wait till this year is over.

[Parmalat]

Hey girls, wow, wonderful post. I think you girls are heading for a record. I have to admit I'm still going through it all so you might have answered my question along the way and I still need to read that bit.

 

I am in need of some assistance, considering you actually reply to most post I thought I'd give it a shot. My head is sort of messing with me a bit today, and it's driving me crazy.

 

So as usual I met a guy, flirted and the initial move came from me for a date, since then I've seen him a couple of times the last time ended up intimately. I told him to call me and he did that very night, but now that was 2 weeks ago. Since then I called him a week ago and in stead of his usual 3 minutes conversation we chatted for 20 minutes. We kind of live 4 hours apart and I indicated I wanted to visit him and asked him when would be good for him, he said a date, then we talked more about probably getting together over the holiday period.

 

Now it's been 1 week since that conversation, the date we set for me visiting him is in 1 weeks time and I haven't heard a thing from him. 2 days ago I had a weak spot and send him a cute text message, but no response.

 

What now, should I call to ask if we are still on, should I just go ahead and show up? What is he left for the weekend, or changed his mind. I feel like I'm sitting in the dark. I know the usual about if a guy doen't call, just let it go and move on. But we had plans?

 

He's not the flaky kind, he is however terribly bad with a phone, I'm not even sure he knows how his text messages works, cause he's never used it and says he's not that into the whole technology thing.

 

What do I do girls, do I wait until this weekend the call him to confirm our arrangements. Do I wait for him to call to confirm.

 

am I the biggest loser ever for wanting him to call me? HELP!

[Parmalat]

Sorry girls almost forgot to add that the weekend that I'm suppose to go visit is also his birthday so I have bought him a gift, but he doesn't know that I know that is't his b-day, I saw the date on his drivers license that was lying on his kitchen table.

 

Just thought that info might be handy.

 

Also he owns 3 business and I know that he tends to be busy.

 

Just some additional information, hope that helps.

[phyrespryte]

Hi Parmalat

 

The gift thing confuses me. So he told you his birthday was this weekend? Or did you find out that it's his birthday and you're surprising him with a gift? Because if it's the latter, then it seems stalkerish. If it's the former, well I wouldn't be buying him a gift so early on. A card seems more appropriate.

 

BUT, I don't know how long you've known this guy.

 

As for calling him, I see nothing wrong with it. You made the plans right? I'd call him up, be a little flirty, indirectly remind him about your plans...like oh I can't wait to see you this weekend, blah blah blah (don't ask him if he remembers or if he still wants you to come) and keep the conversation brief. Not rude, brief. You have a life too and you don't want to seem like you're spending all your free time with him.

 

Anyways, things that bother me because I'm a negative person...

 

Are you sure you want a relationship with someone who lives so far away? 4 hours is a lot of gas money. Shoot. One hour is bad. Also if it were me it'd bother me that I was making all this effort for him and he wasn't calling as frequently. You've bought him a gift, you're going to go see him and he hasn't even responded to your text message. That would bother me so much.

 

I suppose it's too early to worry about the phone thing. Some people have rules about how many days between calls, but I think a week is too long.

[Parmalat]

The gift thing confuses me. So he told you his birthday was this weekend? Or did you find out that it's his birthday and you're surprising him with a gift? Because if it's the latter, then it seems stalkerish. If it's the former, well I wouldn't be buying him a gift so early on. A card seems more appropriate.

OK to clear up things. We were talking over coffee and his drivers license was lying open, so I said, oh see you have a b-day coming up and he just smiled back at me. So no stalking, he knows I know.

 

The gift that I bought isn't expensive or anything, we were having a bit of port wine one evening late and it happen to be the finishing touch of his last bottle when he exclamed that that was a very good bottle and it is a pity that you can only buy it in the region that I live in, cause it's made at a winery close by.

 

So I thought it would be a nice gesture to buy him a bottle for his birthday, not big or anything just nice.

 

BUT, I don't know how long you've known this guy.

I've known him for about 4 and a half months.

 

Are you sure you want a relationship with someone who lives so far away?

The distance doesn't bother me as much, because we both have demanding lifes and I travel on business to his town at least 2 times a month and tend to spend a couple of days at a time.

 

Another thing is that my job might be moving me there next year probably by April, so then we'll be in the same town. I don't see a reason to wait until then, might as well enjoy him now and start up something.

 

As for the gas money, luckely it's covered by my job most of the time and a littlebit extra here and there I don't mind.

 

Also if it were me it'd bother me that I was making all this effort for him and he wasn't calling as frequently. You've bought him a gift, you're going to go see him and he hasn't even responded to your text message. That would bother me so much.

This bothers me, why do you think I'm on the site trying to clear out my head. I know he likes me, I know theres a spart, I know there is common interest. I know her respects me. But no call? That bothers me too. But then I tell myself that I know a lot of guys that simply hates the phone and refuses to call. I have male friends that never responds to any text messages. But it bothers me!!!

 

I suppose it's too early to worry about the phone thing. Some people have rules about how many days between calls, but I think a week is too long.

 

Thats what I also think. But I'm not sure he thinks of it that way, he sometimes gives me the impression that if you don't write it down he'll forget to do it. He made a point though to call me after we slept together for the first time, I really appreciated that (didn't tell him) but it made me feel that it wasn't an one night stand, the fact that he made the effort to call and it was really late, after 11 at night that he called.

 

 

 

Thank you so much for all your input, working throug your answer has helped me think things through, I'm still confused but I'm feeling a bit better about it today. (What a difference a day makes).

 

We have discussed spending some time together over the holiday season so I guess I'll have to wait and see what he does, I'm in no rush and other than confusing me I do tend to forget about the situation during the day when I get busy.

 

Once again than you and if you have any other questions or input please respond, you've done so much already. THANK YOU!

[justagirl1121]

sweet. there's posts. haven't been around for a while cause i just got back from FLORIDA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Man, it was nice. First plane trip! Was in the Macy's day parade at universal! And got to see the Discovery go up from out by the pools where we were staying!! Now, that was pretty awesome!!!! It was so cool being up in a plane. Im all ready to be a travelling girl!!!!

 

no, i havent talked to pirate boy in like what 3 weks or whatever. not a word. he is hte one who said i was so aweosme to hang out with and really cutenad blah blah, sounds like dating material to me but whatever. so doesnt hold much when he says he wants to be friends. hes the one who broke it off why would i blabber on to him and look like a retard? so, yeah, nothing.

 

Anyway, I agree with you. Boys just aren't working out and so I just need to not worry about it. I'm shy too and I boys are stupid, but i don't know what im doing wrong. Can't seem to get the guy who wants to call and talk to me and build a relationship. So yeah, just lay low and look busy.

 

Im definitely hoping to move out like march or april after i get tax return and bonus from work.

 

Parmalot

 

I don't know what to tell you. They soooooo confuse me. I don't think guys worry about this stuff whatsoever. But at the same time, i do see guys postin gon here all freaked about us girls....so who knows.

 

I say, if you meet someone and go out once or twice, after that the calls have to come. Maybe every 5 days. He should call like 2-3 times nad then it can be our turn. Talk for 20 minutes. Make some plans for like every 10 days. Then if it gets serious, it should work itself out.

 

Shouldn't be having to worry about why the hell they're not calling esp when plans are for you to visit. You know? They make it so freaking hard.

 

All i can say is im done worry and getting attached.