Does Cold Approaching Women Work?

[Dark Horse]

So basically I was talking with my friend who said that he's going to help me cold approach women on the street.

 

How successful is it?

 

He says that there's about a 50% chance you can get her number and if you get her number there's a 50% chance she will respond and a 50% chance you will get a date with her.

 

He also says that women appreciate it when they are approached.

 

 

What do you think? Is cold approaching women on the street and talking to them and eventually asking for their number a good idea?

[katiegrl]

So basically I was talking with my friend who said that he's going to help me cold approach women on the street.

 

How successful is it?

 

He says that there's about a 50% chance you can get her number and if you get her number there's a 50% chance she will respond and a 50% chance you will get a date with her.

 

He also says that women appreciate it when they are approached.

 

 

What do you think? Is cold approaching women on the street and talking to them and eventually asking for their number a good idea?

 

DH.... it really depends on how, when and where you plan to approach.

 

What do you plan to say?

 

I would not advise approaching on the street when she looks busy, or in a hurry. Personally speaking, if I am busy, running errands or whatevs, it's annoying.

 

But while standing in line somewhere, say at the market or in a coffee shop is good. Or if you notice her by herself at a table, or outside on a bench eating lunch, that's good too.

 

I often strike up convos with men myself when the opportunity presents itself.

 

Sometimes it results in us exchanging numbers, sometimes not.

 

Remember you don't even know this person, she could be married, have a boyfriend, recently broken up with her boyfriend, anything.

 

Try not to make it seem like you're intentionally trying to pick her up or get her number. Be casual, spontaneous.

 

If she doesn't respond positively, try not to take it personally, and just move on..

 

Good luck!

Edited June 24, 2016 by katiegrl

[basil67]

I've generally disliked being approached on the street.

[mrldii]

I'm gonna go out on a limb here, OP, and say

 

it'll work 100% of the time if she's interested/attracted,

 

and fail 100% of the time if she's not interested/not attracted.

 

 

So, really..."cold approaches" are as effective as any other means of making contact/scoring a date.

 

 

 

Good luck!

[Buddhist]

I think it's an awesome idea if you want to toughen up your rejection reflex.

[jay1983]

You should be able to make eye contact to tell whether or not she wants to be approached. Try a little eye contact and smile, if she won't look your way, she's probably not interested.

[Dark Horse]

Oh god i'm so friggin nervous just thinking about it.

 

It's like walking up to someone and being asked to be punched in the face. That's what it feels like.

 

Oh my god...

 

Oh my ***ing god!!!

 

 

I think i'm going to have a panic attack just even thinking about it.

 

 

 

 

But it's the only way if I want a girlfriend or a *** buddy. Talking to women is friggin hard!

[anika99]

Oh god i'm so friggin nervous just thinking about it.

 

It's like walking up to someone and being asked to be punched in the face. That's what it feels like.

 

Oh my god...

 

Oh my ***ing god!!!

 

 

I think i'm going to have a panic attack just even thinking about it.

 

 

 

 

But it's the only way if I want a girlfriend or a *** buddy. Talking to women is friggin hard!

 

 

 

LOL...this post cracked me up for some reason. You sound on the verge of hysterics..LOL

 

 

I agree that you should not walk up to random women who look like they are in the middle of going somewhere or trying to get something done. However the summer is a good time to approach because there are lot of people just relaxing outside. People sipping their coffee while sitting at an outdoor patio, people eating their lunch in the park, etc.

 

 

The first thing you need to do is gauge the likelihood that the woman is going to be okay with talking with a stranger. Maybe start by asking her something direct and easy to answer, like ask for the time or where you can purchase a newspaper. Just something simple and see how she responds. If she answers you in a dismissive way and then turns away from you then probably a good idea to for you to move along. If she gives you a smile and looks like she might open to chatting then try to start more of a conversation. Your chances of striking out are probably high but I say in the right circumstances it could work.

[PogoStick]

Something about your numbers seem awfully convenient. Are you sure that rigorous statistics were used?

[SammySammy]

Works like a charm when you know what you're doing. Most guys don't have a clue. Particularly guys who think cold approaching is walking up to any woman they take a fancy to on the street.

[ExpatInItaly]

I can only speak for myself, but I don't like being approached by strange men in the street.

 

Sorry.

[Erik30]

I can only speak for myself, but I don't like being approached by strange men in the street.

 

Sorry.

 

This is pretty much what I'm worried about and why I don't do cold approaching. Also there's no way to know if she's even available. She could appear to be flirting to you, even though she's already taken. On the other hand, you have nothing to lose, just some girl who you don't know might think you're a creep.

 

Those 50% numbers seem way too optimistic. Unless you're very attractive and "smooth" with women, I think something like 10% overall would be more realistic. It could go up if you can tell if they're interested before you approach.

[LookAtThisPOst]

I can only speak for myself, but I don't like being approached by strange men in the street.

 

Sorry.

 

If he's cute enough, you'll make an exception.

[ASG]

If he's cute enough, you'll make an exception.

 

Yes, but if he's cute enough, he's probably not cold approaching women on the street...

 

 

I personally don't like it.

 

It happened to me the other day... I got out of the tube, and because I had a small suitcase, was looking for the large exit.

A male member of staff asked if I needed help. I said no, I was fine. He insisted on helping me through th gate... AND then out of the station... I didn't want his help, but didn't feel like I could very well say no and shoot him down like that without being rude..

 

As we reach to top of the stairs he says "now as payment for me helping you, you need to let me take you out for a coffee". I knew it was coming. It's the only reason he could possibly be helping an able bodied young woman. It still felt disgusting and I told him in no uncertain terms that it wasn't going to happen.

 

Ugh...

[TheMets]

I'm not sure if I would want to be approached on the street or in a parking a lot. Stranger Danger Alert! I hear stories on the news on how a random stranger went up to a girl at a grocery store parking lot to ask her for directions when in reality, he took out a knife and wanted to abduct her, she was able to escape. I'm wary about men just coming up to me randomly in the streets or at the stores.

[Gaeta]

In the streets?? NO.

 

You approach women in public places like at the store, restaurants, bar, in a park, at a festival, a concert, public transportation but NOT in the streets!

[ChocolateRain]

if a strange Man approaches me on the street i would feel offended and makes him seem desperate .... doesn't matter good looking or not ... complete No Go for me ...

[LookAtThisPOst]

Yes, but if he's cute enough, he's probably not cold approaching women on the street...

 

 

I personally don't like it.

 

It happened to me the other day... I got out of the tube, and because I had a small suitcase, was looking for the large exit.

A male member of staff asked if I needed help. I said no, I was fine. He insisted on helping me through th gate... AND then out of the station... I didn't want his help, but didn't feel like I could very well say no and shoot him down like that without being rude..

 

As we reach to top of the stairs he says "now as payment for me helping you, you need to let me take you out for a coffee". I knew it was coming. It's the only reason he could possibly be helping an able bodied young woman. It still felt disgusting and I told him in no uncertain terms that it wasn't going to happen.

 

Ugh...

 

You see...I think this is why dating has become a problem these days as women tend to fault guys for approaching them. They find them more of a nuisance than a friendly face.

 

The attitude of, "Yeah, I saw it comin' a mile away, he asked me to coffee"

 

To be honest, you really can't fault a guy for doing this, but...sadly, women do, and judge men as "creepy" for doing it.

 

Gone are the days how our parents did it. My dad cold approached my mom on the beach, and the rest was history. lol.

 

Now, it seems the internet is more desirable for women as some have come to use it as a social crutch dating-wise and find cold approaches annoying.

 

No offense, but when women, esp. in their 30s and 40s get asked "How come you're still single?" Well, this is one of those examples...she passed up or found a guy for at least making an attempt.

[LookAtThisPOst]

In the streets?? NO.

 

You approach women in public places like at the store, restaurants, bar, in a park, at a festival, a concert, public transportation but NOT in the streets!

 

I think "streets" is a vernacular for "public" places you mentioned. But, some women aren't wanting to be approached in public...period. Which is sad.

[ChocolateRain]

Gone are the days how our parents did it. My dad cold approached my mom on the beach, and the rest was history. lol.

 

They met at the Beach , its a total different setting ...

 

Now, it seems the internet is more desirable for women as some have come to use it as a social crutch dating-wise and find cold approaches annoying.

 

Actually , i wish to go back to a time before we all had internet .When people had to interact with each other . Nowadays people have Facebook Relationships ( often Multiple ) and /or communicate through whatsapp etc etc ... thats totally not my world .

 

No offense, but when women, esp. in their 30s and 40s get asked "How come you're still single?" Well, this is one of those examples...she passed up or found a guy for at least making an attempt.

 

Times have changed ... People have changed ...

Edited June 24, 2016 by ChocolateRain

[Cablebandit]

cold approaching is fine for some people. Just do it and be prepared for the rejection. It's good practice for those women you find that ARE approachable and there are plenty out there. My wife cold approached me

[anika99]

You see...I think this is why dating has become a problem these days as women tend to fault guys for approaching them. They find them more of a nuisance than a friendly face.

 

The attitude of, "Yeah, I saw it comin' a mile away, he asked me to coffee"

 

To be honest, you really can't fault a guy for doing this, but...sadly, women do, and judge men as "creepy" for doing it.

 

Gone are the days how our parents did it. My dad cold approached my mom on the beach, and the rest was history. lol.

 

Now, it seems the internet is more desirable for women as some have come to use it as a social crutch dating-wise and find cold approaches annoying.

 

No offense, but when women, esp. in their 30s and 40s get asked "How come you're still single?" Well, this is one of those examples...she passed up or found a guy for at least making an attempt.

 

I agree and it makes it tough for those of us who don't care for online dating.

[LookAtThisPOst]

I agree and it makes it tough for those of us who don't care for online dating.

 

I wonder if you approach a woman in public that don't like being approached, but say, "If you want to talk to me, please go to my profile <name of site>"

 

Believe it or not, I knew of a Meetup member that was such a major social butterfly in public, that she had an online dating profile that stated:

 

"If we've met in person, no need to contact me here if we've already talked...you have your answer"

 

It was like she was implying "If we've met in person, chances are I wasn't interested to begin with."

 

I knew of a woman on another message board that said that she refuses to date men that know her in public, her neighborhood, etc. that have approached her on POF.

 

It's like she's already culled the people she saw...visually or interacted with briefly as non-prospects.

 

It's like, "If I've seen you already, chances are I wasn't interested, so do not email me here!"

Edited June 24, 2016 by LookAtThisPOst

[jen1447]

I think it's an awesome idea if you want to toughen up your rejection reflex.

 

 

OP, your friend's figures are wrong. Is he a 'guru?' Why does he want to help you and why does he think he's qualified? Beware the friend who thinks he's a guru bc he's probably not.

 

Man-on-woman cold street approaches are a really low percentage game, esp if (no offense) you're struggling to begin with. You need to focus more on environments that are comfy to you and where the sort of women who might take an interest in you are found. That's not out on Main and 23rd.

[JuanDelToro]

In cold approach you have to read the signs before proceeding. Women have a way to communicate (most often in subtle ways) if they're looking and are approachable or not. The place is irrelevant.

Many guys are completely blind to such signs and approach indiscriminately. It does help with building confidence through rejection but it is also a waste of time and energy.

Truth to be told, in public places average women are more reserved and harder to approach. Reason being that way too many guys approach them because in their mind average looking translates to "easier to approach/better chances of success".

Most of my female friends that are average looking would agree. On the other hand a few friends that are in the model looks category always complain that they don't get approached at all.

 

Personally I let the woman to approach me first or show me signs of high attraction, if I like her then I'll take lead in flirting with her.

In public places this is rare; with the exception of walking down on Chapel st. (Melbourne) on a Saturday night where women are very keen to harass you; but it's common in parties that I go to, gatherings with friends, art galleries that I frequent etc.

Such places are way better to meet someone and have a proper discussion, flirt, have fun.

Edited June 24, 2016 by JuanDelToro