Why was he leading me on if he was going to break up with me anyway?

[erin0]

My boyfriend of 4 years was being very distant with me for about a week straight, blaming it on his job and his family.

 

We mutually broke up one night. Well, I broke up with him, and he cried. Then, I backtracked. Then, he broke up with me.

 

During his turn, he was saying things like:

 

"I can't be in a relationship right now."

"I just want to be alone for like 3 weeks."

"In 3 days, I might text you and tell you that I miss you."

"I don't know what the future holds."

 

I asked him point blank if he saw a future with me and if he loved me, and he said yes. He wanted a hug, and I gave in. Then, I left.

 

Two days later, I found out he had cheated on me one time before we were broke n up, and he was seeing this girl now. A 22 year old, who also broke up with her 22 year old boyfriend. He's 31.

 

We got together because I needed closure. His excuse was, "I love you, but I'm not in love with you."

 

Now, this man has always been VERY direct about his feelings, almost brash. Why was he being so wishy washy? Why couldn't he have just let me go before all of this? I asked him these things, and all he could tell me was he doesn't know. They just "clicked."

 

It's only been about 2 weeks, and I am feeling much better. BUT, I have so many unanswered questions that will probably never get answered. Maybe you could help me understand why he lied to me. Was he confused about what he wanted?He is a grown man. If we were breaking up, why did he give me false hope? All he had to say was that it was over, and I probably would've never found out. But, I knew something was fishy.

 

He recently lost a ton of weight for a wedding coming up, and a part of me wonders if he is just enjoying all of this new attention..

Edited June 23, 2016 by erin0

[54JA]

I think he lied to you because he is not man enough. Cutting someone off for a new relationship is a big risk. He's probably thinking, what if this new relationship doesn't work out? Could I go back to my ex (hence the 3 weeks)? If I were his new girl, I wouldn't appreciate this chicken-sh%t either. If someone likes me, then I want the guy to declare to his ex that he's leaving her because of me. He's missing his balls.

[bummer]

He's missing his balls.

 

The above explains why he lied and pussyfooted around. He cheated on you and by point blank omission lied to your face. He's a 31 year old kid who thought he just got the keys to the kingdom by losing weight.

 

I hope you don't let him back. Good luck.

[Giggles666]

Because he's a selfish coward who wants to have backup just in case.