Why wouldn't a guy tell his date he has a kid?

[TheMets]

I had a great first date with this guy I met through online dating site, I noticed that on his profile it said he has a kid. Seems like he's interested he has kept in contact and we have plans on meeting up again, however he didn't mention anything that he has a kid from a previous relationship. Why? We talked about everything else. He told me about his past, where he grew up and such.

[ChocolateRain]

my first language is not english sorry but i feel a little confused here ?

 

you meant to say that he actually has two Kids one being from a previous RL ?

 

i dont think this should be a big deal ...

[smackie9]

Because there are a lot of people who would find this a dealbreaker. Obviously this has been an issue for him getting dates. Just relax. Bring it up next time you get together. Just say "I notice that you have a child...I love kids!, tell me about him/her...."

[ChocolateRain]

ETA i think i understood now ...he didnt mention the child on your Date ?

 

Maybe he thought it was too early to talk about his child ???

[Toodaloo]

Because there are a lot of people who would find this a dealbreaker. Obviously this has been an issue for him getting dates. Just relax. Bring it up next time you get together. Just say "I notice that you have a child...I love kids!, tell me about him/her...."

 

It could also be that he is looking for a partner for himself and not a replacement mother for his child...

 

Keep it simple. Ask him.

[WhirlwindGuy]

I ended up taking most references to my son off of my dating profile as well (pictures and anything in the bio). I wont lie and say I don't have one, its in the description about me, but I am not going to readily advertise it either.

 

 

It is not the "drama" some people automatically assume it is. My entire life isn't defined by it. I love my son to death and he is a major part of it, but in the unfortunate reality, I have him about 20% of my life, and there is 0 drama between his mother and I. No sense in making it the FIRST thing I talk about with a potential partner.

[O'Malley]

Feel free to ask, but if the rapport and flow of conversation was that good, I'd have expected him to at least mention his kids, even if it was in passing.

 

Just my take, but it lacks integrity to fail to mention significant facts about your life (kids, marital status) on an initial meetup and then plan on springing it on someone further down the line.

[Gaeta]

I had a great first date with this guy I met through online dating site, I noticed that on his profile it said he has a kid. Seems like he's interested he has kept in contact and we have plans on meeting up again, however he didn't mention anything that he has a kid from a previous relationship. Why? We talked about everything else. He told me about his past, where he grew up and such.

 

I don't understand at all what you mean.

 

On his profile it says he has a child.

 

During your date he did not mention that child?

[GorillaTheater]

Since you already knew he had a kid, maybe he was waiting for you to ask about him/her.

 

 

If you wanted to hear him talk about his kid, why didn't you ask?

[mizunomead]

He said that he has a kid in his profile. So its there and mentioned. I'm not sure exactly what the big issue is.

It was a first meet/date. He made it about you and him. Left his child out of it for now. I am sure if you continue to meet over the next couple times it will come up, or you can bring it up yourself.

I dont have kids but i would assume that he didnt talk about his kid on purpose so you knew the date was about you and him and not his child.

 

I am currently dating a woman with a child. It was in her profile, she made brief mention of it in her profile. It did not come up until our 3rd date i think. And i brought it up. She told me she was just making sure that I knew that she was dating for herself and that her child would not be involved unless we progressed into a serious relationship at some point down the road.

Makes sense to me.

[kendahke]

How many dates have you gone on? One?

 

Perhaps he didn't want to talk to you about his kid on his first date.

 

If that bothers you that much, next him.

[WhirlwindGuy]

She told me she was just making sure that I knew that she was dating for herself and that her child would not be involved unless we progressed into a serious relationship at some point down the road.

Makes sense to me.

 

 

This is my approach to this as well. I had pictures of myself and my son in my profile at one point, but removed that. I think it gives off the wrong impression.