Skaterdude Posted June 23, 2016 Posted June 23, 2016 (edited) About 3 months ago my now ex gf of 2 years broke up with me telling me "this doesn't mean I love you any less and this doesn't mean we can't be together in the future but right now we can't be. if you love something let it go and if it comes back its yours to keep. If its meant to be fate will make it happen". As I was packing my bags she was telling me to stop and this might not be permanent. 2 says later she calls me and I was asking her to just call this a break and come back to work things out she said she didn't know. about 20 minutes later she calls asking me to come back and I said only if you want me to she said she didn't know so I said no. We were getting into arguments the last few months that we were together. We also fell into a routine and got boring. She works 6 days a week about 60hrs and I was taking 5 classes and working 30 hours a week we were both stressed and I was tired. I also became dependent on her for my happiness and didn't listen to her when she was saying maybe we should spend less time together. I was being selfish with her time and was suffocating her. Her best friend called me later the night of the break up telling me to not contact her but do what felt natural. I wish I would have listened to the first half and not the second half.She also was texting me for the next couple of weeks telling my my ex was just as broken up as I was. The first week we stayed in contact she kept telling me she loved me and I would say it back. I said the night at her house the 2nd night we just slept in bed together nothing physical. Days later I was doing everything wrong showing affection, crying, pleading to work on things, showed up drunk at her house to talk to her roommate (she wasn't home). After showing up to her house a few days later I picked up the rest of my stuff she was crying and saying I changed, I clearly did I've never once lost it like this. I asked if we could go out for drinks in a few weeks to get drinks to see if we could re-spark things as long as I gave her time and space to think and she agreed. A few days after that we ran into each other I said hi to her in a angry tone she took one look at me and ran away crying. Fast forward about 2 1/2 weeks I tried to talk to her through texts but I wasn't ready so I didn't ask for drinks, I was still to emotional and couldn't take the rejection. So I went NC again for about 3 weeks until I ran into her roommate again and set me back. I was drunk and called her making a fool out of myself once again. I texted her saying I wasn't a mess just because of her, I was also stressed out about school as final time was approaching. Lame excuse but it was all I had. I went back into NC for a few weeks. She and I ran into each other once again one night. I noticed she kept looking my way at least 4 times and I tried to avoid eye contact but one our eyes met so I waved she waved back and I just continued my game of pool. About 13 days ago we ran into each other once again and she was with a guy I tried to keep my distance since I was outside on a patio with co-workers and she was inside with him. Her and her girlfriend came outside to smoke I noticed them both looking my way. I went inside to order a drink and she walked passed me and said hey to me I just ignored her and walked away. Later that night I was a jerk and texted her mean things about her giving me false hope that we would get back together and that she was seeing this other guy. She said he was a friend when she needed a friend, which was actually what I expected her to say. She stated hanging out with that guy less then 2 weeks after we broke up from what I've heard. A few days later I returned her stuff with an apology letter saying that I was sorry for the things I said they were out of place and coming from the negative feelings I was holding towards her. I also told her if the other guy makes her happy I'm happy for her and wish her the best of luck. And maybe one day we can be friends. She already said that she hoped one day when I was ready we could be friends and that if I ever needed anything to let her know but I said that wasn't a good idea. She texted me and said the apology was accepted and she was sorry for hurting me. I told her I know and we just need to put the past behind us. She said deal. A few days later I saw her again (we work a stones throw from each other) I looked her way and she was sort of looking mine. I was across the street and it was kind of late and I was going to just keep walking but I waived at her because I felt bad about ignoring her a few days earlier, she waved back. I've since been back in NC for 13 days. I try to keep myself busy I went and found a new job 2 week after the breakup, hitting the gym like never before (lost 12 pounds!), gotten a tan, reconnecting with friends, making new friends, exploring new hobbies and I've gone on a few dates. I still miss this girl like crazy though. I wish I wouldn't have lost it like I did. I'm trying to let go completely but part of me thinks we both really needed this before we make a real commitment. She also says things like sometimes people need to break up and see what else is out there when we would watch tv/movies, something I never really agreed with. Since the last text I deleted her number, blocked her on FB and cut back on the drinking. Edited June 23, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator replaced with thread-starter's edit for paragraphs ~6 1
DreamP Posted June 23, 2016 Posted June 23, 2016 Sorry to hear your story. Hope things work out for you, whether it's getting back together or learning to move on. 1
CarrieT Posted June 23, 2016 Posted June 23, 2016 For starters, welcome to Loveshack. Secondly, *please* use paragraphs in the future... A wall of text is really hard to read and a lot of people who might weigh in won't bother reading your thread at all. (Too late to edit it now, alas). Thirdly, after you two broke up and she started seeing someone else, you should have stayed NO CONTACT. It seems that alcohol might be an issue if you start reacting to her when you are inebriated. The idea of being friends? Nope - don't even go there. I am friends with my Ex's but only after a long period of time apart - i.e., after neither of us care about each other romantically. As long as you have any residual feelings for her; be it the hurt she inflicted or the lingering love that may still be there, there can't be a "friendship." You are doing the right thing with the gym etc. Stick to that and keep moving forward. And stop texting her. Time to block: All social media, phone numbers, everything. 3
Author Skaterdude Posted June 23, 2016 Author Posted June 23, 2016 (edited) I did block her on FB and deleted her number after the last time I texted her. I've also cut back on the drinking as it was becoming a problem. I have no intentions of being friends with her. I just said maybe one day in the future because of some of the nasty things I said. We also share a lot of mutual friends and are going see each other or more than one occasion. I wish I would have stayed NC right from the start. I was just in disbelief and could not fully accept the situation because of the this doesn't mean I love you any less. I was just like WTF how does it not mean that. I see what you mean CarrieT I reposted it in another thread with paragraphs it does make for a much easier read. Edited June 23, 2016 by Skaterdude
Hoosfoos Posted June 23, 2016 Posted June 23, 2016 "If you love something let it go and if it comes back its yours to keep. If its meant to be fate will make it happen. In the the meantime, I'm putting you aside because I want to get nailed by other guys." There. I fixed her quote for you. 3
mrs rubble Posted June 23, 2016 Posted June 23, 2016 She's full of cr*p, people do not break up to "see what's out there". I agree with the correction Hoosfoos made to her quote. My parents have been together for 53 years without "setting each other free" to test their love. Keep your head high and your contact with her non-existant. Hopefully she'll soon be nothing more than a distant memory.
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