My Break Up Testimony: Breakup = Breakthrough!! + Was I Dumpee or Dumper? {UPDATED}

[bluefeather]

Update of sorts. After the above message, i blocked. I got a forwarded group email from him on my work email which he's never used before. It was some article on the Olympics. I've added his email to the block list there as well.

 

I've been journaling and it helps but i won't lie. I rethink the text he sent and really question myself. Why it bothered me. And zahara was on point. I don't value myself enough. Someone who does would've immediately scoffed at it and blocked. I'm disappointed in myself. I'll keep journaling.

 

Your disappointment is understandable. A lot of us have had to go through similar events when dealing with people who attempt to reach out, but I've learned that it doesn't help to feel that way. Just try to learn from it.

[mg101]

Your disappointment is understandable. A lot of us have had to go through similar events when dealing with people who attempt to reach out, but I've learned that it doesn't help to feel that way. Just try to learn from it.

 

Thank you.

What do you mean by having dealt with disappointment when an ex attempts contact?

 

I'm making some progress in my thinking. One thing that's good is that I no longer can even think of him in the same light. I've lost any redeeming qualities when it comes to him. All that's left is my pride in thinking he thinks he got over on me. I technically dumped him so that message was a spin tactic that annoyed me at first. Working through that now.

[bluefeather]

Thank you.

What do you mean by having dealt with disappointment when an ex attempts contact?

 

I mean that I have had exes reach out to me as well, and I have been disappointed in myself in the way that I handled those situations. But I stopped trying to beat myself up over mistakes I made and just learn from them. It is so much more productive.

[mg101]

I mean that I have had exes reach out to me as well, and I have been disappointed in myself in the way that I handled those situations. But I stopped trying to beat myself up over mistakes I made and just learn from them. It is so much more productive.

 

Makes sense. Thanks for the words.

[mg101]

Update of sorts.

 

I've fallen into a depression. I've scheduled counseling starting tomorrow. I hope it helps. This past week has been bad. I've detached from family and friends and neglected work and myself. I haven't had a depression like this since a loss to death in 2010.

 

I guess it's partially related to him but more in the sense of allowing that to trigger other self doubt and deprecating thoughts. I feel unworthy and incapable. I wish i never met him. I hope something good comes from this. I'm disappointed in myself for faltering. I guess the strength i felt when i first made this thread was denial or maybe i self sabotaged it. Idk.

[bluefeather]

Update of sorts.

 

I've fallen into a depression. I've scheduled counseling starting tomorrow. I hope it helps. This past week has been bad. I've detached from family and friends and neglected work and myself. I haven't had a depression like this since a loss to death in 2010.

 

I guess it's partially related to him but more in the sense of allowing that to trigger other self doubt and deprecating thoughts. I feel unworthy and incapable. I wish i never met him. I hope something good comes from this. I'm disappointed in myself for faltering. I guess the strength i felt when i first made this thread was denial or maybe i self sabotaged it. Idk.

 

I think you are way too critical of yourself. Breakups can put people through a roller coaster of emotions. I can't tell you how many threads I've seen of people saying "I am totally over the breakup!" and then later down the line they are saying "ugh, never mind, this sucks!" ... Going back and forth in a cycle might make it seem like you are faltering, living in denial, etc., but the truth is most likely that you are simply not done healing.

 

So stop beating yourself up over your emotions. You are allowed to keep grieving. And counseling will probably help. Good luck to you...