CFH1183 Posted June 23, 2016 Posted June 23, 2016 Well lets see here I guess ill jus jump right into it. In the past week I have been released from jail, broken up with, and moved across the state with no more than a bag of clothes and 0$. Ill try to keep this bearably short. I was in jail on a DWI which I had obtained while being divorced but still with my ex wife, we were trying to reconcile what we had and it finally fell apart and I got my charge after I crashed my brand new car. We reconciled further while i was in jail only to find out that when I got out that she had been sleeping with a good friend of mine. Beins that I had no car, money, license, job, or help of any sort. I decided to move down south to stay with my dad and re connect with my younger brothers. So here I am. New to the world. New to bein single. And lost as a 2nd Lt with a map and compass. Ill be 22 in a couple days, I dont know anyone here aside of my immediate family, and at present I own nothin more than a bag of clothes and a phone. Any advice or whatever yall have to add would be great. Thanks for hearin my story. oh and we were married for 2 years, together for 3. (right out of high school) 1
bummer Posted June 23, 2016 Posted June 23, 2016 Sorry to hear that it has been a downpour in your life recently. I feel bad trying to make light of it but at least there isn't a kid to contend with also. You've seen your ex and friend for their true worth. this ordeal may be a hidden blessing. Once you dust off, there is only up for you to go. Take a step at a time and each day at a time. You are alive, have family, and a fresh Start to take your life in a new direction. 1
Author CFH1183 Posted June 23, 2016 Author Posted June 23, 2016 Yes thankfully no kids were involved. Oh well my dog did die as well while I was in jail. I'm grateful to see her for what she is I'm jus upset that she played me while I was away like that ya know? I'm also feeling crushed by this new start cuz I have nothing, ya know how scary that I as an adult to have literally nothing? I cant go take a drive to relax, or go watch a movie, hit the bars, whatever. I'm temporarily stuck here at the house untill I can find a job and work out transportation. 1
Trinity_84 Posted June 23, 2016 Posted June 23, 2016 My advice: Take it as a blessing in disguise. You get to start basically a brand-new life, so to speak. You're VERY young. Maybe you can go to college if there's a career you're interested in. I don't know what the situation is after you've been to jail but you're still really young, and it wasn't like you murdered someone, so I'm sure there's options for you. Mourn the relationship, reconnect with your family and be grateful they opened up their doors for you and you have a home again. Don't take that for granted. Life goes on, it doesn't wait for anyone, right? Good luck. 2
bummer Posted June 24, 2016 Posted June 24, 2016 you're still really young, and it wasn't like you murdered someone, so I'm sure there's options for you. Mourn the relationship, reconnect with your family and be grateful they opened up their doors for you and you have a home again. Don't take that for granted. crawl, walk, run. I'm pretty sure going to the bar or drinking should be low on your priority list despite your stress. Heighten your self-control and self-discipline to a razor Sharp point. Stay focused and get that nearby job, work through court for the license, save for a car, get a better job... so on until you're a little content. Then have a beer. Stay on the point. And no girls. Everyone knows they're nothing but trouble. I'm thankful you have your family to connect with. 1
Author CFH1183 Posted June 24, 2016 Author Posted June 24, 2016 Well I got a job today that was awesome. Though I still don't know how to socialize as an adult. 2
bummer Posted June 24, 2016 Posted June 24, 2016 Congrats! Same as making friends as a kid, be yourself. But it's less acceptable to pick your nose in front of others now. I would strongly suggest you practice socializing without drinking for a few weeks or months. Try and find a new normal without alcohol to smooth the way, assuming that may have led to some of your mishaps. 1
Author CFH1183 Posted June 25, 2016 Author Posted June 25, 2016 Well see thats one hiccup. I like to drink. I used to be an alcohol though IV gotten over it if that makes sense. I can drink responsibly now put I that way. Not to mention I live on the bay now, drinking is part of life like if you don't drink here yer a weirdo ya know? 1
Trinity_84 Posted June 25, 2016 Posted June 25, 2016 crawl, walk, run. I'm pretty sure going to the bar or drinking should be low on your priority list despite your stress. Heighten your self-control and self-discipline to a razor Sharp point. Stay focused and get that nearby job, work through court for the license, save for a car, get a better job... so on until you're a little content. Then have a beer. Stay on the point. And no girls. Everyone knows they're nothing but trouble. I'm thankful you have your family to connect with. I'm sorry, why did you quote me in regards to drinking, I didn't mention that at all? Is it because I mentioned college? College isn't about drinking where I come from, it's about studying ;) 1
bummer Posted June 26, 2016 Posted June 26, 2016 Not to mention I live on the bay now, drinking is part of life like if you don't drink here yer a weirdo ya know? Well, strangely many people abstain from drinking for a number of reasons even in the Bay area? Or on military bases? Recovering from alcoholism is a reason. Saving money is a reason. Staying out of trouble after being in jail is a reason. Learning to socialize without liquid courage is a reason. You're in control. Better to be the healthy working weirdo than the normal guy getting in trouble again. Trinity - I think I just like what you said with no real tie in to what I wrote now that I see it. Apologies. 1
Satu Posted June 26, 2016 Posted June 26, 2016 Well I got a job today that was awesome. Though *I still don't know how to socialize as an adult. *Maintain your dignity and integrity at all times, and treat people kindly and with respect. Thats all you need to do. Good luck with your new start.
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