sydestar Posted June 23, 2016 Posted June 23, 2016 In March of 2016 she joined the Air force and i was 100 percent supportive of her decision, but told her the distance would be hard on us. 2 months pass and she graduates her basic training and i fly out to see her, we spend the weekend together and things are great. She gets her phone and she goes off to tech school, where we talk for a few hours every night. Here's where the distance takes its toll. The calls start getting shorter, and shorter and she says its because she's busy but i can tell something is different. another month passes where we talk about 3 hrs a week, and i finally broke. I asked her what was wrong, she said nothing, but i got more aggressive because i could tell she was lying until she finally told me that "she loves me with everything, but she doesn't know if we can make it". I break down, not angry but pure sadness. This was the first time she heard me cry, which caused her to cry begging me to stop. I don't know if i had a clear head, or if I even have one now, but i said i wanted to break up. We said our goodbyes and I told her I loved her and we hung up, that was two nights ago. I can't breathe or concentrate on work, or school. All i want is to take back the break up and let her know i don't want to just give up, and instead want to try and work out the problems. Is it too late to fix things? I know we are young and can find other people, but i have never met someone like me. I come from a lower class neighborhood full of drugs, and crime but i rose out of it getting a job and a full ride to a local university. She comes from the same area, and did even better in school but felt burdened by everything and wanted to escape. There are others like her but none i have ever met, and she is also the most beautiful girl you can imagine, I fear i will judge my future wife based on the past i can't let go Should I really just give up, try to talk to her, or give her time? Maybe i can wait a few months before contacting her again.
chatter Posted June 23, 2016 Posted June 23, 2016 If there's never a plan to end the distance then the relationship will begin to feel overwhelming. I have unfortunately had the luck to always be with men who wanted to marry me and when the relationships end they feel like no one will ever compare. But let me tell you the man I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with we broke up and I felt like I was dying and he felt that way to. But guess what after a year and a new girlfriend I am nothing to him. Those feelings are straight up dead on both ends. Time can heal everything and while I thought I was always going to judge my future boyfriends based off my X fiance I didn't because I didn't want them to be like him because I had moved on from that relationship and while I may still care those intense feelings can dissipate you just have to make the choice and dedication to move on. Or on a side note if you really wanted to be with her go to her. Go be with her! Give her some space to clear her head and make the offer and let her make the choice of wanting to be with you as in you both live under the same roof or if you move on with your life. You just have to respect whatever decision she comes to and that your offer is a one time deal you will not ask again. Good luck! 1
SammySammy Posted June 23, 2016 Posted June 23, 2016 Whatever you do, stop the crying. This woman just went through basic training. Imagine the mental state she and the people she's surrounded by are in. An old boyfriend at home crying and can't pull himself together is probably not doing himself any favors with that behavior. 1
bummer Posted June 23, 2016 Posted June 23, 2016 Know that she reached her decision after weeks if not months of agonizing thought. She can't stand to hurt you but knows in her heart what's best. Respect her decision, be strong, and remember if it's meant to be you'll find each other when it's over. But for now move on with your life and love.
DKT3 Posted June 23, 2016 Posted June 23, 2016 Listen this is a good thing, not every relationship is meant to end in marriage and family. Most are learning experiences setting you up for real thing. You guys are going out living two different lives and gaining life experiences, meeting new people some whom you will have romantic interest in. As time goes on you spend more and more energy in the new people and life, it gets harder to hold on to the past and many of the relationship formed there. If you two really love one another your paths will cross again, one of you will make sure of that. As for now go, be young and live your life apart from hers, allowing her to do the same.
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