2much4 Posted June 22, 2016 Posted June 22, 2016 How long did it take you to cut them off? What was the last straw to make you do it? It took me quite a while. I put up with a lot of crap before pulling the plug and regret not doing it sooner.
BikerAccnt Posted June 22, 2016 Posted June 22, 2016 The day I broke up with her...Over 3 months now, not a peep. Of course, we'd broken up twice before, so, obviously there was some contact that time. But this time, none. I'm done, and I know it.
smudge21 Posted June 22, 2016 Posted June 22, 2016 You got to reach the bottom before you stop digging. For me, it seems that even when I can see how bad things are, how wrong they are for me, how hurt I am and how little they care... I still find it hard to take that final step. I think eventually something inside just gives and suddenly are able to go fully no contact, not to win them back or any of that rubbish, but totally to get over them. I guess it's a case of the pain having to get to such a point that there's no more you can take. Only then do you start to want your life back. 2
Elliejayde Posted June 22, 2016 Posted June 22, 2016 My ex broke up with me 3 months ago. Stupidly we stayed in contact, until 2 weekends ago when it was his Birthday, he called me up and asked me to go see him. I did, we hooked up, but there was no emotion in it. But it made me realise that I'm done, I can't keep going back because he's all I'd known for 7 years. It took that for me to realise it was done, now on day 10 NC.
Charlie99909 Posted June 23, 2016 Posted June 23, 2016 It took me about 2-3 weeks after she ended it and then managed to not get my stuff to me. My last message to her was to toss my stuff and keep the movies. She texted me saying she would figure something out. I deleted her off Facebook and blocked her shortly after. I'm almost at 4 months and still haven't reached out or heard from her. Every day gets better and every day brings a fresh new hell. The dreams are the worst and the memories gradually fade away. You just have to be strong and work on yourself every day. Read, read, read, and work out. Always improve, never settle, and push yourself every day. Just remember, you're like a mirror, you get what you reflect. I still can't think about unblocking her because I couldn't imagine seeing her and how much her daughter has grown since I've been gone. I'm sure she's already with someone else and I'm afraid that when she does reach out, I will be foolish enough to go back. I digress. Tl;dr- never stop improving yourself. 1
Toodaloo Posted June 23, 2016 Posted June 23, 2016 About 2 weeks. By then I figured if he hadn't got it out of my house then he wasn't going to need it. Sooner the better.
bummer Posted June 23, 2016 Posted June 23, 2016 When she said she met someone else at 2weeks after the breakup that was the main push to stick to NC. Broke it after 4 weeks as she still had something of mine. Now it's pure NC.
guest569 Posted June 24, 2016 Posted June 24, 2016 4 days, because we talked so many times during the relationship and the breakup, trying to work things out. I guess i don't have much left to say. Haven't heard a word from him either in a month of NC. I actually have no desire to contact him now, I feel numb about all that. In a past relationship it took me a long time, a few weeks before i even tried NC, and many failed attempts at NC. That was really, really tough.
OngoingThoughts Posted June 24, 2016 Posted June 24, 2016 It took me longer because the break up was hard for both of us. But eventually I realised she was moving on insanely fast and I was not. So after 8 weeks I finally put up with NC. On the 4th day now..
juniorrocha Posted June 24, 2016 Posted June 24, 2016 A month of NC, which started right after the break up, where we only contacted each other twice because I needed some of my belongings back; she said herself she would bring them. While I was certain I wouldn't take her back, when we met this week things went in a different road; we talked, we cried and we ended up hooking up/sleeping together, she stayed for the night. Everything seemed wonderful, just like our best times before... and I made the big mistake of accepting to give it another go, which was her suggestion. Only for 2 days after that she say that although she loves me and find it very hard to walk away, she has no hopes that we can work it out. Bottom line: broke up again. Now 2 days of NC, back to square one. This time, it will go on forever. 1
MIK3 WB Posted June 25, 2016 Posted June 25, 2016 About 3 weeks from the break up. But during these 3 weeks I was led to believe that we broke up because she didn't have time for a relationship because of her busy schedule, so there was no ill feelings toward her. I then catch her with another guy. Took me less than 24 hours to go full NC from that point. Been almost 2 months now.
tomatome Posted June 25, 2016 Posted June 25, 2016 Still working on it. About two weeks now since she left. Talked to her briefly a week ago but since then I have exchanged absolutely nothing--not bothered about that either. Removed her from FB, but we are still connected through a chatting app (LINE), although I have her hidden but not blocked. Not sure why, just hanging on a little bit longer. The more time goes by, the more I am worried that she will contact me about something. That actually is becoming a frightening possibility, so I might be gone completely soon, full nc.
south225 Posted June 25, 2016 Posted June 25, 2016 We took a break and still talked and saw each other for about 2 months. I noticed she began acting odd about 2 weeks ago and she told me she was casually seeing someone else, so I severed contact with her and it has been since Monday. I don't intend to break it. She told me she wanted to work on herself and was torn whether or not we had a future, but even if she calls in the future, I can't say I'll respond. I wasn't faultless in the relationship, but her moving on that quick hurt.
lauri Posted June 25, 2016 Posted June 25, 2016 Took me about 4 days. I was still hoping that we would work out but then I clicked in and I cut her off for good. Wasn't easy but it was worth it in the long run. I maintained NC for 3 months, but I was so mad at her still that I told her off after she repeatedly tried to get in contact with me...in truth I was getting a high on her msging me and me ignoring her. After that, I blocked her and held NC for one year until she showed up at my house trying to get back with me (she tried dating other guys, typical story). In the end, it wasn't worth it and I knew due to the fact I took time to heal and move on that I made the right call.
MissBee Posted June 26, 2016 Posted June 26, 2016 (edited) About 7 years ago an excruciating breakup led me to LS. I stayed in contact, kept doing the "friend" thing and the ambiguous breakup sex thing, and FB stalking thing, and keeping in contact thing for about a year. That breakup was the WORST I had experienced and took me almost 2 years to get over...and no kidding! I learned about NC during that time, and like so many others, resisted it and misunderstood it, and thought it was "too harsh" (this comes from the wrong idea that it's a punishment for them instead of a healing tool for you), or thought but what if he comes back or wants to change and I have him cut off (this is also a faulty idea which assumes people change because of things you do or don't do instead of their own volition). Long story short, I kept beating that dead relationship horse and went through so much false hope and foolery by not going NC and it almost ruined me. I then had enough one day after a final meetup with him where he said he was going out of town and we'd meet up after to talk about us...and he went out of town...found out on FB he was with another woman, and like so many other times, he never contacted me. I blocked, deleted and have not spoken to him in 7 years. NOW....never again! NC feels hard at first but trust me, it preserves your dignity and sanity and helps you to heal the sooner you implement it. My last 2 relationships after were basically clean NC. That is, after the initial breakup conversation and saying my piece and them saying theirs , leaving it at that and IMMEDIATELY ceasing communication. In one case I was the dumper so it was a little bit easier admittedly, because I was emotionally done a bit before the actual end date. In the other current case I sort of knew it would happen but how it did came as a surprise and it was because of his actions, but I said my piece in the moment and left it at that and immediately deleted and blocked where I needed to. I can say, it feels SO MUCH better, smarter and healthier than dragging yourself through emotional muck. In comparing my feelings, time of healing, how I felt day to day, etc. I feel A LOT better now than that time before NC. Multiple factors go into it, like overall being more mature and such, but part of the maturity is also learning from my past experience and learning how to take care of myself and process relationship endings, and NC is a CRUCIAL step in that. Edited June 26, 2016 by MissBee 1
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