unevensteven Posted June 21, 2016 Posted June 21, 2016 Hey everyone, I'm 21and I dated a girl for 8 months, we were crazy in love and we wanted to get married blah blah blah. Thing is that we couldn't date because we're muslim, so we did it in secret, oh and did I mention me and her brother are best friends? Anyway her mom found out and we knew it would happen, so we planned on being friends until the right time to get married. During the "wait" period her friends started messaging me saying that she moved on already, and she later told me that too. I decided to go NC, I did it for 4 months and I was moving on. I never blocked her on my phone so she texts me saying to forget what she said about moving on and that she still wants a future with me, and I told her there is no reason for me to talk to her if we don't, and she said she still does. We've been texting and be friends for a year now based on the fact she wants a future together, and boy was I wrong. Three days ago I end up bringing up our conversation about having a future together, and she said things have changed, and not to think about what she said a year ago, when she knows it's the only reason I even talked to her. That really made me laugh, maybe because I saw it coming and that so many people told me to ignore her. I then thanked her for leading me on, wasting my time, energy, and emotions, I then told her I didn't know she was so heartless, then did 100% NC. I'm not depressed, I'm kind of angry and dissapointed in her, and I can't help but laugh about it and smile. Maybe it's because I can now finally move on instead wonder everyday if she still wants a future, or I'm just going crazy lol. I've been doing pretty good, going to the gym, I have work, summer school, and have amazing friends that never fail to make me laugh and make my day better, I just need some time to move on. I just wanted to post on here because it helps me to share what I'm going through instead of bottling it all in, thank you for reading my very long and boring post 1
smudge21 Posted June 21, 2016 Posted June 21, 2016 I reckon over the course of that year, both of you reached a point mentally where you no longer felt this was right. As much as it coming to end would still have hurt, you also felt a mild relief as now you could let go and go live your life. It's true that as much as we feel we want someone at some point, we can feel so differently over time. IMO that's why so many relationships just come to an end, because people jump in there thinking it's what they want. Only overtime do they change and by then it's too late. It sounds like you dodged a bullet there my friend, so carry on as you are and don't like any negative feelings take over where you're at now. 2
Author unevensteven Posted July 12, 2016 Author Posted July 12, 2016 I reckon over the course of that year, both of you reached a point mentally where you no longer felt this was right. As much as it coming to end would still have hurt, you also felt a mild relief as now you could let go and go live your life. It's true that as much as we feel we want someone at some point, we can feel so differently over time. IMO that's why so many relationships just come to an end, because people jump in there thinking it's what they want. Only overtime do they change and by then it's too late. It sounds like you dodged a bullet there my friend, so carry on as you are and don't like any negative feelings take over where you're at now. The thing is I still loved her but I didn't know how she felt, I kind of felt like she was detached which was why I didn't really get that sad. I laugh at myself for letting her play me when she knew for a fact that the only reason I talked to her because she wanted a future, 6 months later she tells me she doesn't have feelings and forget all about it, I knew her for 5 years and I never thought she would be a manipulative heartless woman. I don't plan on ever talking to her again, not even looking at her general direction, I've been talking to other multiple girls but I feel like I should wait up and give myself some space and time to process before I make some girls into a rebound relationship, I'm not the kind of guy to go around breaking hearts.
Author unevensteven Posted July 31, 2016 Author Posted July 31, 2016 My first girlfriend and Ex that I dated for 9 months contacted me after 2 months of NC, and I replied although everyone on here told me not to. She wanted to get back together but after 6 months of talking she said to forget what she said, so she played me. I don't feel sad at all, it's more like I have huge weight off of my shoulders, but I also feel so much anger and hate towards her, and I don't want her to ever be part of my life ever again, not even friends. Is it normal for me to hate her? I'm usually nice and never hate anyone, oh and did I mention she's one of my closest friends sisters?
SevenCity Posted July 31, 2016 Posted July 31, 2016 It ok and perfectly normal. People go through a range of emotions after a loss (break up) and you should allow yourself to fully experience them all. That said, don't do anything stupid that will get you in trouble. Just continue NC and life as if she never existed. Eventually the hate and anger will subside and you will become apathetic. That's when you are over her.
tomatome Posted July 31, 2016 Posted July 31, 2016 Live and learn. Yes, hate is a reasonable emotion, but channel it into something productive, like becoming more fit or developing a talent. It will subside but if you let it eat at you, you won't be ready for the next one. And there will be a next one.
BC1980 Posted July 31, 2016 Posted July 31, 2016 Hate and anger are normal. Every person has hated someone at some point, or been angry at some point. We all have those emotions.
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