Waldorf1234 Posted June 21, 2016 Posted June 21, 2016 Never been on here but have been reading a lot of experiences and I need to share mine in hope of some advice. My ex and I split up a few months back, it was a graceful breakup but I was still hurt as she dumped me. I went NC about a month, then contacted her to say I was still thinking about her and checked in. Since then she has initiated contact every time, usually about twice a week always for something like "you crossed my mind" or things like that. The texting would last awhile and would usually last until she went to bed. She even requested to skype once because "It's hard not seeing me." Each time she reaches out I welcome it but go NC again after. Only to recieve a text again a few days later. Now I'm back in the same city and conversation has increased, we've hung out 2 of the 4 days I've been here and talked each of those days. This is where it gets tricky, she always says it's just as friends and we don't do anything (besides a back massage and head massage I gave her at her request) but I feel so much tension when we're together. I don't know I could be wrong but we dated for 2 years and I feel like I know her pretty well and the way she acts is strange to me. The last time we hungout she said, "just as friends of course. But I do enjoy your company :)" I want to reconcile and I don't know if she's just dragging me along for a ride or maybe testing the waters? She has made it clear in sneaky ways that she isn't seeing anyone else, even though I don't believe her and think she is talking to other people but who wouldn't, I'm talking to other people too. I'm just really confused on how to approach this situation and thought I could get some advice on here?! Thank you!
PegNosePete Posted June 21, 2016 Posted June 21, 2016 Each time she reaches out I welcome it but go NC again after. Only to recieve a text again a few days later. I don't think you understand what NC means. It means NO CONTACT. Not "no contact until we have contact". I want to reconcile and I don't know if she's just dragging me along for a ride or maybe testing the waters? She has made it crystal clear, many times, that she is only interested in a friendship with you. Believe her. If you can't handle a friendship (which it sounds as though you can't) then you're just inviting a boat load of pain and misery by attempting this "friendship" thing. 1
Author Waldorf1234 Posted June 21, 2016 Author Posted June 21, 2016 Thank you! You're right, I've been giving myself false hope that she may be trying to go slow. I will walk away and move on.
lolablue17 Posted June 21, 2016 Posted June 21, 2016 I have few ex's, who i'm friends with. I have also ex's who I can't be friends with, because I might get hurt. One good friend I could make the change with her only after 6-7 years after the break up. I could be friends with her Only when the feelings were totaly over. You don't have to feel bad about taking care of yourself. You also don't have to explain to her why don't you want to be in any kind of contact with her. You can just stay NC, by texting short and cold messages "I'm very busy". After a few times she will understand that you don't want any contact. Do what's best for you. When you do that, You'll start feeling happy.
Author Waldorf1234 Posted June 21, 2016 Author Posted June 21, 2016 Yeah ill give that a go. It's just hard because I feel like something is there. It's crazy how girls can pull this off thanks for the advice!
PegNosePete Posted June 22, 2016 Posted June 22, 2016 She will also "get the message" if you don't reply AT ALL.
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