Author yooncrusade Posted June 22, 2016 Author Posted June 22, 2016 Just invite her. And no, it's not strange your more interested in her than the others, unless you want to date the entire group. Ok so there is this food fair coming up this weekend which has some japanese food selling. So i should straight away ask her:" Hi, there is a food fair going on this weekend at xxxx and they are selling some jap food there. Would u be interested in coming along?" like that as my very first time texting her and not talking to her since the field trip ended?
GorillaTheater Posted June 22, 2016 Posted June 22, 2016 "Would u be interested in coming along?" ? Change that to "I want you to come with me", and "Jap" to "Japanese", and you're good.
Author yooncrusade Posted June 22, 2016 Author Posted June 22, 2016 Change that to "I want you to come with me", and "Jap" to "Japanese", and you're good. LOL that sounds so WOAAAHH like isnt it too WOAAAHH for a first date and esp since im messaging her for the first time too LOL
GorillaTheater Posted June 22, 2016 Posted June 22, 2016 LOL that sounds so WOAAAHH like isnt it too WOAAAHH for a first date and esp since im messaging her for the first time too LOL You don't want to come across as wishy-washy. If you want her to come with you, then that's exactly what you say. 1
Author yooncrusade Posted June 22, 2016 Author Posted June 22, 2016 You don't want to come across as wishy-washy. If you want her to come with you, then that's exactly what you say. LOL but the "I want" part sounds really strong like an order hahaha
Emilia Posted June 22, 2016 Posted June 22, 2016 Ok so there is this food fair coming up this weekend which has some japanese food selling. So i should straight away ask her:" Hi, there is a food fair going on this weekend at xxxx and they are selling some jap food there. Would u be interested in coming along?" like that as my very first time texting her and not talking to her since the field trip ended? If you think 'want' is strong then replace it with 'would like' but be VERY clear that you aren't messing around. Women like decisive men. It's very good that you are being respectful but you must take the initiative because you are a man.
Emilia Posted June 22, 2016 Posted June 22, 2016 Haha feels quite weird for her tho like sending:"How have you been doing?" to her alone instead of everyone else from the field trip in the group chat. Then again, think i forgot to mention but in about 3 wks time, the entire group which includes me and her are meeting up for 3 days for a indoor academic seminar programme tho. That is the last time we'll see each other if only meetups by our academic organizations are taken into account tho haha. That's very sweet but irrelevant.
Author yooncrusade Posted June 22, 2016 Author Posted June 22, 2016 If you think 'want' is strong then replace it with 'would like' but be VERY clear that you aren't messing around. Women like decisive men. It's very good that you are being respectful but you must take the initiative because you are a man. Which approach would sound better since im messaging her for the first time for a first date or smth? haha "I would like you to come along with me" or "Would you like to come along with me?" Oh and i think i didnt mention this. I have a friend who's studying in the same overseas college as the girl i fancy is gonna study and she just came back recently and it so happens both of them are taking the same course. So the girl i fancy contacted my academic organization to ask if any seniors are studying the same course as her in which they referred my friend to her. So they kinda only know each other by name now via email. They are planning to meetup some time soon and my friend is thinking of inviting me along since i know both of them. Do you see what i could do here or start anything from here? haha
Emilia Posted June 22, 2016 Posted June 22, 2016 Which approach would sound better since im messaging her for the first time for a first date or smth? haha "I would like you to come along with me" or "Would you like to come along with me?" Oh and i think i didnt mention this. I have a friend who's studying in the same overseas college as the girl i fancy is gonna study and she just came back recently and it so happens both of them are taking the same course. So the girl i fancy contacted my academic organization to ask if any seniors are studying the same course as her in which they referred my friend to her. So they kinda only know each other by name now via email. They are planning to meetup some time soon and my friend is thinking of inviting me along since i know both of them. Do you see what i could do here or start anything from here? haha To the bolded: You don't want anyone else around when you are getting to know a girl. They are distracting, you can't talk properly, you can't tell if she is into you properly. As to the first question: I would say 'I would like you to come along with me'. I just think her response to that would be very clear. Women like being wanted, you know? That's what makes successful men successful, they are clear when they want a woman. I get that you are being cautious but inviting someone out for tea or similar really isn't aggressive. It's not threatening. It's not embarrassing. There is always the chance that someone says no but then you need to move on to the next girl. Guys who are shy waste A LOT of time on girls who aren't interested. Get friendzoned, etc. Maybe the girl would be more interested too if he was clear that he wanted her, you know? Blood running in your veins, not water 1
Author yooncrusade Posted June 22, 2016 Author Posted June 22, 2016 To the bolded: You don't want anyone else around when you are getting to know a girl. They are distracting, you can't talk properly, you can't tell if she is into you properly. As to the first question: I would say 'I would like you to come along with me'. I just think her response to that would be very clear. Women like being wanted, you know? That's what makes successful men successful, they are clear when they want a woman. I get that you are being cautious but inviting someone out for tea or similar really isn't aggressive. It's not threatening. It's not embarrassing. There is always the chance that someone says no but then you need to move on to the next girl. Guys who are shy waste A LOT of time on girls who aren't interested. Get friendzoned, etc. Maybe the girl would be more interested too if he was clear that he wanted her, you know? Blood running in your veins, not water Haha yup im being cautious because after all we havent talked since after the field trip and suddenly messaging her for the first time "I want you to come along with me" may seem quite WOAH to her. Im just afraid initiating a date straightaway may make me look creepy haha. Oh ok point taken for the bolded part. But then since this outing is kinda fixed and my friend wants me in it, so it means it would be good if my first date with her is before this outing?
Emilia Posted June 22, 2016 Posted June 22, 2016 Haha yup im being cautious because after all we havent talked since after the field trip and suddenly messaging her for the first time "I want you to come along with me" may seem quite WOAH to her. Im just afraid initiating a date straightaway may make me look creepy haha. Oh ok point taken for the bolded part. But then since this outing is kinda fixed and my friend wants me in it, so it means it would be good if my first date with her is before this outing? May I be blunt here in front of thousands of people that read these boards? What do you care more about? Finding a cool girl who is pretty or your friend? I mean honestly... If things don't work out, you won't go to your friend's thing, that's a possibility. But you know.... really deep down... Who cares? There is also the possibility that some women/girls will not like everything you say or do but that's unavoidable. Plus, it's only a tea. It's not like you are declaring your undying love for her. It's a cup of tea.
Author yooncrusade Posted June 22, 2016 Author Posted June 22, 2016 May I be blunt here in front of thousands of people that read these boards? What do you care more about? Finding a cool girl who is pretty or your friend? I mean honestly... If things don't work out, you won't go to your friend's thing, that's a possibility. But you know.... really deep down... Who cares? There is also the possibility that some women/girls will not like everything you say or do but that's unavoidable. Plus, it's only a tea. It's not like you are declaring your undying love for her. It's a cup of tea. Alright then, i'll give it a shot using one of the ongoing food bazaar with many interesting food that are good and cheap there. 1
Emilia Posted June 22, 2016 Posted June 22, 2016 Alright then, i'll give it a shot using one of the ongoing food bazaar with many interesting food that are good and cheap there. Good, report back please. Good luck!
Author yooncrusade Posted June 23, 2016 Author Posted June 23, 2016 Good, report back please. Good luck! Haha well i guess upon some thought, the main reason why im so afraid is probably because unavoidably, im gonna face/see her again in 3 weeks time for our academic programme which created some sort of fear in the form of awkwardness in the event things dont go the right way haha. 1
Emilia Posted June 25, 2016 Posted June 25, 2016 Haha well i guess upon some thought, the main reason why im so afraid is probably because unavoidably, im gonna face/see her again in 3 weeks time for our academic programme which created some sort of fear in the form of awkwardness in the event things dont go the right way haha. To be honest, it's something you need to get used to because this is a common thing when you decide you want to date someone within your circle. Otherwise you would always have to try to chat up girls in public or something.
Author yooncrusade Posted July 3, 2016 Author Posted July 3, 2016 Good, report back please. Good luck! ok well current status after 1 week now, is well i was unable to ask her out since she happened to fall sick on just as i was about to give it a try. But well we have been messaging each other talking abt some japanese food and arts and even sharing some upcoming plans we have for the week or so, tho i try to not make myself seem so desperate by replying very fast when she replies me back. So kinda, my very first message to her was get well soon though since the messaging app im using is able to see the person's status which she wrote as "Very sick right now".
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