OmegaMan Posted June 27, 2005 Posted June 27, 2005 I have a friend that's a girl. We have been friends for over a year. We started out as "friends with benfits." After about 2months of that, she met somebody else. We are still friends we hang over almost every weekend. She always had problems with her current boyfriend of a year now. He is basically an "a**h***", takes her for granted. The problem is that I have feelings for her. I hate it that I do, because I know we will never be more than just friends. I mention it once to her before, but she was like "I couldn't see us dating". I hate feeling sad after we hang out. I feel like I should end our friendship, just so I don't feel this way. But it's not like I have many friends as it is. Counting her I have 4 friends, meaning the people I hang out with. I don't consider people that I know but don't hangout, friends. My question is should I end our friendship, or somehow deal with these feelings? She is mostly the only person I hangout with, because my bestfriend has a girlfriend and they spend about every moment together. My other two friends are married. Sometimes I hang out them, maybe once a month. The reason she hangouts with me is because her boyfriend has 3 kids that keeps him busy. I think I just need to find someone else, but it's hard with you haven't had a girlfriend for over 10 years. I have no game, I am shy and quiet. But I think I am attractive, because I have always been told. Btw she is 23 and 35 yrs. old. Most people my age are married or commited. It's seems to get hard every year that passes... I feel like I am going to die alone...
Tony Posted June 27, 2005 Senior Moderators Posted June 27, 2005 You're not going to die alone and you're not getting too old to find someone great for you. My guess is that things like this have been happening to you for years. You've got to change your style. Yes, you must quit seeing this lady. That's a dead end situation and there's no need to put yourself through torture by being around her and pretending to be her friend when you want more. Get out of it ASAP. Get out and find some new friends. If you have no idea how to do that, get some counselling, ask others, go to the library and read some books, or purchase books and tapes on how to meet members of the opposite sex. Once you get good at it, you'll have more women around than you'll know what to do with. Get this current "friend" OUT of your life now!
Marshbear Posted June 27, 2005 Posted June 27, 2005 You need to end your friendship with her. You cannot be friends with someone you have feelings for. Hanging on to her is not the answer to your loneliness. As Tony said, you are not going to die alone. You are just at a sad point in your life and you are depressed. You need to end this friendship in order to move forward and create a new life for yourself. If you are shy then you need to try to overcome this social problem. It is not easy but it can be done and you will be so much happier for the effort. There are many books to help with this task so get one and follow their advice. Then you will be more able to meet new people and develop friends. This new you will be confident and women love a confident man. It will open up a whole new avenue for you. If you cannot do it on your own then I would suggest some counseling. Just don't do nothing. You must take that step to be the person you want to be. Peace...
Just Ed Posted June 28, 2005 Posted June 28, 2005 Hi Omegaman, But it's not like I have many friends as it is. Counting her I have 4 friends, meaning the people I hang out with. I don't consider people that I know but don't hangout, friends. You can have twenty friends or one friend... I say that you must not equate your self-worth with how many friends you have! The reason she hangouts with me is because her boyfriend has 3 kids that keeps him busy. Omegaman, I know that you can do much better than this. I think I just need to find someone else, but it's hard with you haven't had a girlfriend for over 10 years. Omegaman, I say that you should stop comparing yourself to and relying upon other people to make you feel good about yourself. Please be your own best friend: spend your valued time with yourself, for yourself. I have no game, I am shy and quiet. But I think I am attractive, because I have always been told. Most people my age are married or commited. Please don't think that you're attractive; but rather, know that you're attractive! If you do not believe in yourself, who will? Just treat yourself right... spend your time improving yourself physically and mentally. You will then become attractive to other people, and they will gravitate to you... trust me .
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