brogrammer Posted June 20, 2016 Posted June 20, 2016 Well, I started talking with a woman named "M" about a month ago on OKcupid. Things have been going pretty well... we've had a date a week or so and each time she always sends me a message almost immediately afterwards telling she either enjoyed herself or at least a smiley face. The dates ALWAYS end with an extremely passionate kiss... we're always making physical contact, but I'm confused. She is on OKCupid quite a bit still even though we text pretty much every day and she gives me her schedule claiming to be available pretty much whenever I want to go on a date so I know she can't be that serious about dating other people. She also has checked out my profile a number of times over the past week. Last night, though... I asked her what she thought about us seeing other people. I said "Well, I dunno, I've not really been interested in seeing others" and she said "I am not big on rushing into things, honestly... we're still getting to know each other." I didn't pay much mind to it, but I am confused... she wants to "take things slow" but is inviting me over to her place on Wednesday to watch movies and "cuddles" as she puts it. I am just curious as to why you guys think she might not be ready for something more. The chemistry is there... we both enjoy each other's company, the time flew by on our dates. Before I am asked how I know she still goes on OKCupid, I mainly pop on to just see what kind of messages people send me, who's checking me out (even though I am not interested in them at all), and just to genuinely have chats with people... no matter how attractive they are. I see her on the "Last online" list.
BlueIris Posted June 20, 2016 Posted June 20, 2016 (edited) Last night, though... I asked her what she thought about us seeing other people. I said "Well, I dunno, I've not really been interested in seeing others" and she said "I am not big on rushing into things, honestly... we're still getting to know each other." I wouldn't expect either of you to remove your profiles until you've clearly agreed to be exclusive. Based on what you each said here ^^, neither of you sounds terribly interested in being exclusive yet. Edited June 20, 2016 by BlueIris 3
jrharvey Posted June 20, 2016 Posted June 20, 2016 IN THIS CASE I would stay on OKCupid and keep meeting cool girls. She clearly is doing the same.
Author brogrammer Posted June 20, 2016 Author Posted June 20, 2016 I wouldn't expect either of you to remove your profiles until you've clearly agreed to be exclusive. Based on what you each said here ^^, neither of you sounds terribly interested in being exclusive yet. I wouldn't mind being exclusive if she was down for it but I am not going to stop seeing others, that's for sure... even though I quite like this one.
spiderowl Posted June 20, 2016 Posted June 20, 2016 That's the thing about online dating - as soon as you know you really like someone, you want them to let you know the same and to remove their profiles. But, if you have been in a relationship where someone has said all the right things, then suddenly dumped you, or claimed to be madly in love from the start but you found were seeing others, then you might not be so quick to declare undying love and remove your profile. Some want to see how things go before taking those 'commitment' steps. The first part of a relationship is about having fun, getting to know each other, and negotiating those steps as best as possible. She may be waiting to see how keen you are before risking anything (and vice versa). Just see how it goes for a month or so. Even then, some prefer to stay online for forums or friendships, not necessarily because they are looking for a date.
BlueIris Posted June 20, 2016 Posted June 20, 2016 I wouldn't mind being exclusive if she was down for it but I am not going to stop seeing others, that's for sure... even though I quite like this one. Ok. Makes sense. Then I don't understand your question or concern. 1
joseb Posted June 20, 2016 Posted June 20, 2016 (edited) Perhaps this is her posting here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/585276-he-went-online-after-we-had-sex-2.html#post6949286 You are still online too. Do you not see its the same? Anyway, she sounds like she wants to have sex, so enjoy Wednesday Edited June 20, 2016 by joseb
mizunomead Posted June 21, 2016 Posted June 21, 2016 Your dating. She is interested, but hasnt decided how interested yet. If she invited you over then she is interested. No doubt, but she hasn't completely made up her mind yet. Simple as that.
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