despgirl Posted June 20, 2016 Posted June 20, 2016 Hey everyone, So after ending a on/off 'relationship' with my ex a few months ago (http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/564233-i-am-lost), I've decided that I was ready for dating other people. So I had this date with a super handsome guy on thursday. I was not expecting much but we hit it off and he turned out to be very handsome and charming. We had a great date but unfortunately I didn't play my cards right (got intoxicated from drinking a few beers) and he ended up staying over at my place. We didn't have sex because of bad timing (period), but did cuddle and made out heavily. The next day I was quite remoursefull about it because I liked the guy, but thought ok I might not hear from him and then it'll be a lesson learned. He did text me 2 days after, but the conversation was brief and he wished me a good night. Today I decided to text him and here is how our conversation went: Me: "Hey, did you have a nice weekend? I'm so tired from all the festivities Him: "Hahaahha so you were calling for some massage? ;)" Me: "Mm mm Did you watch GOT already?" Him: "Not yet, but i have a tradition watching it with a buddy of mine tonight :)" Me: "Enjoy!" Him: "Thanks :)" I'm obviously not going to text him anymore cause the ball is in his court. Just wondering - did I ruin it by being physical with him too soon? Does this look like he's not interested? Thanks for all your honest feedback guys! I've been out of the dating game for a while so have no clue how to read these signs...
smackie9 Posted June 20, 2016 Posted June 20, 2016 If he was still interested he would have invited you over or say "are you available Thursday? we could catch a movie" It didn't work out oh well. Move on. 1
smackie9 Posted June 20, 2016 Posted June 20, 2016 btw more than likely he was just lookin to get laid.
Author despgirl Posted June 20, 2016 Author Posted June 20, 2016 If he was still interested he would have invited you over or say "are you available Thursday? we could catch a movie" It didn't work out oh well. Move on. Thanks smackie, I appreciate your honest feedback. I have a gut feeling too that he's not that into me. Oh well. I have to stick to my boundaries going forward. Just so difficult when I'm attracted to them but seems like I'm shooting myself in the foot. He also seemed like a charmer and someone who gets lots of female attention. Oh well!
Zahara Posted June 20, 2016 Posted June 20, 2016 Thanks smackie, I appreciate your honest feedback. I have a gut feeling too that he's not that into me. Oh well. I have to stick to my boundaries going forward. Just so difficult when I'm attracted to them but seems like I'm shooting myself in the foot. He also seemed like a charmer and someone who gets lots of female attention. Oh well! Doesn't sound like he's interested other than maybe to get sex. Watch the alcohol next time.
SwordofFlame Posted June 20, 2016 Posted June 20, 2016 I can't take a woman seriously if she gets drunk on the first date.
Author despgirl Posted June 20, 2016 Author Posted June 20, 2016 I can't take a woman seriously if she gets drunk on the first date. He drank as much as me, you know... Why is it men are so fast to judge women, whereas we don't judge them according to how much they drink and how fast they sleep with us? SO unfair... Also, why did he text me afterwards? Wouldn't it make more sense to ghost me completely rather than follow up with a text? 1
SwordofFlame Posted June 20, 2016 Posted June 20, 2016 He drank as much as me, you know... Why is it men are so fast to judge women, whereas we don't judge them according to how much they drink and how fast they sleep with us? SO unfair... Also, why did he text me afterwards? Wouldn't it make more sense to ghost me completely rather than follow up with a text? His tolerance is significantly higher than yours. The issue here is self control. You hear stories on here all the time about people getting drunk and making foolish decisions. I don't have an issue with sleeping together on the first date, assuming both parties were sober and that's what they want to do. 1
Author despgirl Posted June 20, 2016 Author Posted June 20, 2016 His tolerance is significantly higher than yours. The issue here is self control. You hear stories on here all the time about people getting drunk and making foolish decisions. I don't have an issue with sleeping together on the first date, assuming both parties were sober and that's what they want to do. Ok, I get your point. Although I didn't act foolish. I just got caught up in the moment and enjoyed his company. Wasn't drunk, just tipsy and decided to take a chance with him in that moment. And then guys wonder why women are acting like cock teases and becoming cynical... 1
Zahara Posted June 20, 2016 Posted June 20, 2016 Also, why did he text me afterwards? Wouldn't it make more sense to ghost me completely rather than follow up with a text? What did he say when he texted you two days after your date?
RoseHeart Posted June 20, 2016 Posted June 20, 2016 From my personal experience; if a guy was into you and felt a connection prior then the fact that you moved too soon with regards to making out shouldn't have a negative effect on the connection. With my boyfriend, we also fooled around a bit (making out, touching a bit here and there) on the first date already and we're happily together now. I doubt it would suddenly have made his feelings for you disappear. If anything it could have made him felt more attracted to you if he was already feeling a intense spark. I doubt that alone made him not interested. I'm thinking he might not be sure of the connection and have realized now he wasn't feeling the sparks as he might have felt he should. Don't worry about what happened or overthink your actions.
Author despgirl Posted June 21, 2016 Author Posted June 21, 2016 What did he say when he texted you two days after your date? He just said hey and asked how I was doing and if I was ready for the weekend. I replied and he said he hopes I have fun at the birthday party and I thanked him and wished him well. Oh well we'll see. If I don't hear from him within the next 3 days I'll delete his number and move on! Thanks guys for your feedback. I'll keep you posted
spiderowl Posted June 21, 2016 Posted June 21, 2016 If he's attractive and charming, then he will be used to having girls chase him. Do you want to be one of many chasing him? No, you don't strike me as someone who would do that. Ideally you would not have got drunk on that first date but sometimes people do and women should not be judged any differently from men. I think if you liked him as a person, then your best bet is to keep contact minimal and let him take the initiative. He will be curious as to why you are not chasing him. But also be responsive too, but not in a hurry. If he's genuine and likes you, he will be in touch and make an effort. 1
brogrammer Posted June 21, 2016 Posted June 21, 2016 "The ball is in his court" what kind of BS is this? If you like the man, make another move. What if texting him again led to more responses and possibly more dates? Maybe even a relationship?
Author despgirl Posted June 21, 2016 Author Posted June 21, 2016 If he's attractive and charming, then he will be used to having girls chase him. Do you want to be one of many chasing him? No, you don't strike me as someone who would do that. Ideally you would not have got drunk on that first date but sometimes people do and women should not be judged any differently from men. I think if you liked him as a person, then your best bet is to keep contact minimal and let him take the initiative. He will be curious as to why you are not chasing him. But also be responsive too, but not in a hurry. If he's genuine and likes you, he will be in touch and make an effort. Thanks for your feedback! I think you're right. He probably has lots of girls chasing him and I don't think doing that is the way to catch his interest. I think I'd be playing my cards best by letting him contact me most of the time.
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