TheLoveBelow92 Posted June 20, 2016 Posted June 20, 2016 So ive been on here longer than i ever wanted to be, asking questions i could not wrap my head around. Long story short me and my ex broke up last july, i was an emotional wreck ever since first proper gf at age 22 lived together and had a bad break up. She said i called her fat and all these things and made me out to be a complete d**khead to mutual friends... I wanted her back so i took the blame for everything and begged for months but she did not care. 2/3 months after our break she was in another relationship they broke up last month due to long distance. We where at a friends 30th this Saturday and she came out for an hour or two as she had a date with some 30 year old so she left early. Sitting with friends 7 or 8 of us everyone was in conversation about them getting together having jokes about sex with him and shes next to get pregnant and all having a good laugh while inwas trying to keep a cool head. Thats all they talked about the whole time. I felt like crap. The guys whos birthday it was apoligised later saying i didnt realise and i just ignored him as they should know and have some respect. I would never invite a date with mutual friends or ever speak about one in front of her and later that night one of the older girls asked me hows dating going, i said i just gon erm i dont care about any of them tho just go on dates just because i feel i have to... and she told me to maybe try councilng as it worked for her before. Mind you all our mutual friends have became very close with her who where once just mine they see her more than me do things with them.more than me and all that... Because i was an emotional wreck to begin with i think they strayed away and if i get pissed off that all this is happening they get pissed of because im not over it, my ex obv doesnt care even tho id never do any of this to her. I feel like cutting them all out because i feel crap anytime these events happen and they treat her like there best friend and i feel like an outcast... Anyone been in similar situations? Thanks?
bummer Posted June 21, 2016 Posted June 21, 2016 Your situation sounds uniquely terrible. I agree, drop the disrespectful mutual friends. If for nothing else than to a low you a more pure NC experience to get over her. Next step, find a new crowd, move, or otherwise adjust your life with positive change. 2
Trinity_84 Posted June 21, 2016 Posted June 21, 2016 Yeah I'd start finding new friends, too. Make a clean break. Maybe when you're truly over her then you guys can start hanging out again.
Author TheLoveBelow92 Posted June 21, 2016 Author Posted June 21, 2016 Yeah, i know the answer but when there your only friends and you might only see them once a month as it js its hard. Kinda lost everything else last thing to hold onto in a sense thanks for your perspective on this guys
bummer Posted June 21, 2016 Posted June 21, 2016 Perhaps the most painful answer. Maybe by losing everything, cleansing completely from this experience, this environment, this sphere of unhealthy interactions which has left you a bit bitter... Maybe then you can grow the most. Some advice i received: if it feels like sinking in a pool, drowning and slowly drifting to the bottom, the faster you swim down to the bottom, the faster you can push off the bottom and back to the surface. 2
Author TheLoveBelow92 Posted June 23, 2016 Author Posted June 23, 2016 Perhaps the most painful answer. Maybe by losing everything, cleansing completely from this experience, this environment, this sphere of unhealthy interactions which has left you a bit bitter... Maybe then you can grow the most. Some advice i received: if it feels like sinking in a pool, drowning and slowly drifting to the bottom, the faster you swim down to the bottom, the faster you can push off the bottom and back to the surface. Its been a long time and i think the hard part is she was never very close with friends when we where together and they said we where only friends with her because of me. But i was the emotional wreck after while she acted as if nothing happened so understandable they all got very close because i wouldnt shut up about her and the breakup. It just hurts to see all my friends being so ok with all this while i wasnt ok and just telling me i should be over it but in there eyes they think i deserved it and what they heard because they only know the things ive done and not hers and its been so long now theres no point talking about it, becauae who would its been a year. I just gave my ex more credit than she deserved and realising the people you loved the most are also the people who can hurt you the most, I think its because knowing my ex was always behind me before the break i wasnt afraid of anything and could take on the world in a sense and when she left and turned into diffrent person the feeling of loss, guilt and fear lead to an incredibly slow and long stent of deppression that words could not describe that im sure so many of us felt. Its hard to try get back up and try smile for the world again but when its your only choice we have to wake up and put on your face and smile no matter how down and out you are, just keep on smilling... Thanks again guys, you are all great
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