Offspring Posted June 20, 2016 Posted June 20, 2016 (edited) I just had a thought tonight. If somebody rejects you, so what? If you've been in a long term relationship, this might be a bit harder, but i think you will get to the end point eventually. We put ourselves out there, and 'hope' that the other person feels the same way. They may, they may not. Orr, they may not, yet. In some ways, the art of seduction is about skills. Waiting, watching, making timely moves, innuendos etc. However, there is a fine line between that, and actually manipulating somebody. Eg, "if i'm always the nice guy or girl, this person will eventually like me". No, stop! Putting your best foot forward to gain the appreciation of somebody else is not the way to go about it! For two reasons: 1) you will disrespect yourself 2) if this is not really you, they will eventually see who you really are (it's only a matter of time!), and if they change their mind then, you'll feel as hurt, if not more, than if you were rejected at the outset. This brings me to the pinnacle of my thought: You are awesome enough as you are! If somebody rejected you, so what?! If you put yourself forward and tried, you should pat yourself on the back for being a courageous person. Don't let their thoughts or decisions (and were their decisions coming from a place of being informed, or intelligence? Probably not) dictate your value, or perceived value to others. Love yourself in YOUR eyes, not theirs. Really think it through. Think of your positive attributes (you probably have a few), think of where you will be in a few years from now. Let it go (by 'it', i mean, them). They were not intelligent enough to see you... Know your 'worth'. I hope this post has helped someone. Edited June 20, 2016 by Offspring 5
Satu Posted June 20, 2016 Posted June 20, 2016 Well said. I'd like to put a quote from Shakespeare into the mix: “Some grief shows much of love, But much of grief shows still some want of wit.” ― William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet Take care. 3
Author Offspring Posted June 20, 2016 Author Posted June 20, 2016 Well said. I'd like to put a quote from Shakespeare into the mix: “Some grief shows much of love, But much of grief shows still some want of wit.” ― William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet Take care. Haha, yeah, good one! I'll take that with me. 1
ForMySanity Posted June 21, 2016 Posted June 21, 2016 Needed to hear this - just been "rejected" and by someone I "knew" through the Internetzzzzzzzzzzzz for all of 5 weeks. But "rejection" hurts, still the same. Right... I was in want of some wits, too, and so glad you posted this. I wish there was a LOVE button ! Thanks for sharing and for the kick-in-the-pants ! Much needed and much appreciated ! 1
sorano Posted June 21, 2016 Posted June 21, 2016 Sometimes when your stuck, you need a reminder or a little nudge. 2
Author Offspring Posted June 25, 2016 Author Posted June 25, 2016 Needed to hear this - just been "rejected" and by someone I "knew" through the Internetzzzzzzzzzzzz for all of 5 weeks. But "rejection" hurts, still the same. Right... I was in want of some wits, too, and so glad you posted this. I wish there was a LOVE button ! Thanks for sharing and for the kick-in-the-pants ! Much needed and much appreciated ! Hi ForMySanity, Rejection hurts, there is no doubt about that. I think it is good to deal with rejection on (at least) two levels: the emotional, and the intellectual (psychological, or what you actually think about the situation, and how you choose to move on). I think, in some ways, you've got to feel the pain with rejection, because you are grieving a loss. A loss of something that did happen, or the loss of something that didn't happen, in the form of future hopes and dreams. When the initial pain is over, i think it is important to understand the situation as a whole (sometimes these things happen!), our own part in the situation (what were our boundaries like? A conscious understanding of our own hopes and dreams, and how vulnerable we were and will continue to allow ourselves to be, and the trade-offs for this), and then to re-discover our own value in objective terms (looking at ourselves from the outside), and in subjective terms - what we think of ourselves, and to not allow what we think that they think about us, to define us at all.
Lonely Cloud Posted June 28, 2016 Posted June 28, 2016 This was a really good post, thank you for giving this to the community. It's helping me realise I'm worth as much as anyone else and that someone will love me for me. Not for a lie.
urmysong Posted June 28, 2016 Posted June 28, 2016 Thank You for this. I hope soon this feeling is gone cause I am tired stopping myself. I hope this eventually is very soon...
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