thatonechickshawna Posted June 20, 2016 Posted June 20, 2016 (edited) Last month my best guy friend asked me out. I had a crush on him for the longest time and didn't know he liked me. He doesn't have a car & lives 90 miles away so I only see him every month, and since we've been together I've seen him twice. I met a guy in college a few months before who I immediately thought was cute. We talked & I didn't think anything of it bevause I was single. He just started texting and flirting with me. We hung out tonight (did not do anything, just walked and talked) I didn't do anything inappropriate besides feel his hair. But I feel a huge sexual attraction. The thing is I don't wanna lose my boyfriend who I really like over some fleeting crush. But I also don't wanna miss out on getting to know a guy who may be right for me because I'm tied down to a guy it might not even workout with. Also my boyfriend is an atheist, I'm a Christian and my crush is a Muslim. So the religion thing is kinda confusing too...I know I sound like a terrible person...and I know if I break up with him things will never be the same...today I was supposed to see him and thought being with him would help clear things up in my mind cause I'd remember how much I like him. But he wasn't able to. Also the guy wants to hangout with him, his guy friend, me, and a gf of mine. Would that be a date? Edited June 20, 2016 by thatonechickshawna
Jinzo Posted June 20, 2016 Posted June 20, 2016 Last month my best guy friend asked me out. I had a crush on him for the longest time and didn't know he liked me. He doesn't have a car & lives 90 miles away so I only see him every month, and since we've been together I've seen him twice. I met a guy in college a few months before who I immediately thought was cute. We talked & I didn't think anything of it bevause I was single. He just started texting and flirting with me. We hung out tonight (did not do anything, just walked and talked) I didn't do anything inappropriate besides feel his hair. But I feel a huge sexual attraction. The thing is I don't wanna lose my boyfriend who I really like over some fleeting crush. But I also don't wanna miss out on getting to know a guy who may be right for me because I'm tied down to a guy it might not even workout with. Also my boyfriend is an atheist, I'm a Christian and my crush is a Muslim. So the religion thing is kinda confusing too...I know I sound like a terrible person...and I know if I break up with him things will never be the same...today I was supposed to see him and thought being with him would help clear things up in my mind cause I'd remember how much I like him. But he wasn't able to. Also the guy wants to hangout with him, his guy friend, me, and a gf of mine. Would that be a date? For starters, how is the long distance thing working out? If you guys don't see each other often, I imagine you at least talk on FB or something similar, right? Long distance relationships can be so hard and frustrating because of that distance. Some people can work with and be happy with LDRs, others crave that physical interaction. In terms of your bf, I think you need to really consider if LDR is working for you, and if you're truly happy not having that physical contact. Going over to this crush, you answered this one for yourself, as well as tied it into your bf issue. You feel a huge sexual attraction for him because your bf is not around enough to satisfy your needs. You crave that physical contact. I can tell you there is a chance that you may not even like this other guy, you might just need to fulfill sexual urges or urges just to touch a guy/bf. I wouldn't pursue anything with this guy, because it could lead to a pretty sad situation. If you want to, get to know him and see if his personality meshes with yours. If it does, then I think you know what you need to do, but think about it long and hard. Yes, that would be considered a double date. Going into the religious thing, religion should not dictate who you date. Doing that could result in you missing out on Mr. Right
ExpatInItaly Posted June 20, 2016 Posted June 20, 2016 It sounds like you're not all that into your boyfriend, to be honest. You've been together such a short time and you're already open to the affections of another man. You're not a terrible person but I don't think you're being totally honest with yourself about your true feelings for your boyfriend. Does he know you met up this other guy? And does the other guy know you have a boyfriend? And yes, the hang-out being arranged by this other guy is a double date. 1
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