He went online after we had sex

[katiegrl]

@ Jabron, re not ever being ghosted or faded on, no hun, it is indicative of my choosing wisely from the get go.... godonlyknows I am a huge risk taker. Not afraid of that at all!!

 

Something doesn't work out, I pick myself right back up and try again.

 

But you are free to think what you like, and since you feel I insulted you.... I apologize for hurting your feelings... wasn't my intention.

 

Just expressing how *I * do things and conduct myself in relationshipps... same as YOU.

 

Laced with a bit of sarcasm which I presumed you would have gotten.

Edited June 22, 2016 by katiegrl

[kendahke]

I've been a man for 29 years. How long have you been one?

 

The man I'm with has been a man for 64 years and he's the one who broached the subject first.

[Cherryz]

How can you share the most intimate thing with someone you barely know?

And you not even know what his plans with you or what you want with him/?

 

Did you even check if he got STD?

Dating is like a bus, before you jump in , you inform and discus with with the driver

where you want to go and where he is going.If he is not going where you want to go, you dont step in. As easy as that!

 

From what i read, you have nothing to say to him. He give you what he want.

And you agreed with it.

You can tell him, but i think he may tell you that you not his gf and you agreed to just sex, so he is a free men.

 

If you want to be respected and taken serious you should take time to get to know someone and see and ask what their real intentions are with you.

And by taking time to know him you will at some point also see for yourself their real intention.

And let sex be the last thing you will do.

 

Because sex change peoples ideas about you and also emotions.

 

You can now only talk to him about where this is going and what are his intentions and tell him what you want. And tell him you notice him logging in.(even thou if he with you for sex, he probably still looking for his match). And if he want to be with you , you dont want him to stay active there.

If he is not into same as you move on.

[Cherryz]

DOnt sleep with him till you have this conversation with him.

 

Know what up. Before wasting your time and body.

 

And read some christian dating books!

So you have some guide lines how to date effectively.

[Jabron1]

The man I'm with has been a man for 64 years and he's the one who broached the subject first.

 

Jolly good.

 

Though, I have a hunch that I might get the 21st century dating scene just a bit more than he.

 

Just a hunch.

[Eternal Sunshine]

Next batch...what are we, cookies?

 

With both sexes treating OLD as an assembly line of cookies to be sampled and discarded, any residual disappointment I had because of my lack of OLD responses has totally and permanently vanished!

 

 

I really hate OLD. If I had an other way of meeting single men my age, I would take it. Unfortunately, I only met 3 single men in real life over the last 2.5 years.

[Jabron1]

How can you share the most intimate thing with someone you barely know?

And you not even know what his plans with you or what you want with him/?

 

Did you even check if he got STD?

Dating is like a bus, before you jump in , you inform and discus with with the driver

where you want to go and where he is going.If he is not going where you want to go, you dont step in. As easy as that!

 

From what i read, you have nothing to say to him. He give you what he want.

And you agreed with it.

You can tell him, but i think he may tell you that you not his gf and you agreed to just sex, so he is a free men.

 

If you want to be respected and taken serious you should take time to get to know someone and see and ask what their real intentions are with you.

And by taking time to know him you will at some point also see for yourself their real intention.

And let sex be the last thing you will do.

 

Because sex change peoples ideas about you and also emotions.

 

You can now only talk to him about where this is going and what are his intentions and tell him what you want. And tell him you notice him logging in.(even thou if he with you for sex, he probably still looking for his match). And if he want to be with you , you dont want him to stay active there.

If he is not into same as you move on.

 

I was just thinking about why exactly it's such a turn off to get the 'talk' before sex.

 

I think it's because of a lack of investment on my part yet. All of my ex girlfriends started becoming a part of my life before we were 'exclusive', 'official', or whatever people want to call it.

 

Starting to negotiate a relationship on date 1, 2, or 3 is heavy handed and pushy. Making a guy wait for sex is low-interest, and manipulative. None of that stuff works on a guy that has any real value IMO.

 

Get a guy jumping through your hoops, and you will have acquired a lap-dog, not a man.

 

Investment is how you get a man. Become a part of his world, and make him invest in you

[katiegrl]

Jolly good.

 

Though, I have a hunch that I might get the 21st century dating scene just a bit more than he.

 

Just a hunch.

 

I agree you probably *do* get dating in the 21st century better, with respect to dating 20 maybe young 30 year old women.

 

Or women who go for bad boys, or who want a challenge, or who play games or don't want a commitment themselves.

 

But there is an entire demographic of women out there who do admire and respect a man who knows what he wants and not afraid to express it and go for it.. Not ad nauseum or in a sappy way, but in a confident straightforward manner.

 

Not sure why you refuse to believe that.

 

Again I am sure you are awesome and know a lot about women but no matter what you think, you are not the be-all-and-end-all of how all men and women think... and how dating goes down for everyone.

 

I am not saying this to shame you or insult you.. it is my opinion and the opinion of many other women who have experienced both types of men.

 

No matter what you think about me, I do respect your opinions and points of view, not sure why you are unable to accept mine and other women's.

Edited June 22, 2016 by katiegrl

[kendahke]

Jolly good.

 

Though, I have a hunch that I might get the 21st century dating scene just a bit more than he.

 

Just a hunch.

 

You'd be surprised at how flexible and understanding of 21st century anything some older people are.

[kendahke]

Not sure why you refuse to believe that.

 

youthful pride

[Jabron1]

I agree you probably *do* get dating in the 21st century better, with respect to dating 20 maybe young 30 year old women.

 

Or women who go for bad boys, or who want a challenge, or who play games or don't want a commitment themselves.

 

But there is an entire demographic of women out there who do admire and respect a man who knows what he wants and not afraid to express it and go for it.. Not ad nauseum or in a sappy way, but in a confident straightforward manner.

 

Not sure why you refuse to believe that.

 

Again I am sure you are awesome and know a lot about women but no matter what you think, you are not the be-all-and-end-all of how all men and women think... and how dating goes down for everyone.

 

I am not saying this to shame you or insult you.. it is my opinion and the opinion of many other women who have experienced both types of men.

 

No matter what you think about me, I do respect your opinions and points of view, not sure why you are unable to accept mine and other women's.

 

 

You're actually right. It would be far more interesting if I asked some questions and listened to people.

 

So, you have said before that you don't like the hook-up culture. You obviously seek/enjoy the security that comes from monogamy. Why then do you also insist on the man being the one to initiate that monogamy?

 

You believe yourself entitled to a monogamous relationship (same way the OP does here - nothing necessarily wrong with that). But you also believe yourself entitled to the man being the one to raise that monogamy. That's the part that I just don't get.

 

OP won't raise exclusivity. And yet she sees herself as due an exclusive relationship with this man. The two things just don't make any sense to me.

 

Is this another job that women are suddenly expecting of men or something?

Edited June 22, 2016 by Jabron1

[katiegrl]

You're actually right. It would be far more interesting if I asked some questions and listened to people.

 

So, you have said before that you don't like the hook-up culture. You obviously seek/enjoy the security that comes from monogamy. Why then do you also insist on the man being the one to initiate that monogamy?

 

You believe yourself entitled to a monogamous relationship (same way the OP does here - nothing necessarily wrong with that). But you also believe yourself entitled to the man being the one to raise that monogamy. That's the part that I just don't get.

 

OP won't raise exclusivity. And yet she sees herself as due an exclusive relationship with this man. The two things just don't make any sense to me.

 

Is this another job that women are suddenly expecting of men or something?

 

Number one I don't "insist" that the man initiate monogamy. I don't feel that way and never said it.

 

What I said was the ONLY time I have ever had "the talk" in any of my RLs was with my most recent ex, when he asked me on the second date (after having sex the first night we met) if I was a multi-dater or dated one at a time.

 

I told him one at a time, he said he wanted that too, with me, so from then on out, we focused only on each other to see where it would lead. It lead to dating 5.5 years and then getting and being engaged for six months.

 

That is the only time. And him initiating the convo actually increased my interest level and attraction. It showed strength and confidence and I admire that in a man.

 

In my other two long term committed RLs we never discussed it at all.... didn't need to.

 

Number two, my wanting monogamy has nothing to do with feeling I am entitled to it...

 

It is my nature to be monogamous and therefore that is what I seek in a partner.

 

So as to assure we are on the same page.... works out better that way. When we are on the same page.....

 

Going forward as I embark on dating again, I would never insist the man bring it up.... I am extremely perceptive, pay attention to actions, don't tolerate BS.... and so as we continue dating and become sexual... if I feel it needs to be discussed, then I am perfectly capable of bringing it up also.

Edited June 22, 2016 by katiegrl