gbe2015 Posted June 19, 2016 Posted June 19, 2016 I've been talking a lot with a woman that I work with & I'm sure she's into me. I constantly catch her looking at me, we talk to each other outside of work (txt & phone calls) and have hung out a few times. She's leaving the company in a month so if things progress it won't cause issues at work. The problem is the timing sucks. I'm in the final stages of a divorce (just waiting for the court to finalize everything) and I know she's hesitant to be involved with me. The other day she made a comment to me about how she is single and I'm not. I said I am too and she responded that I'm still married. Well yeah, technically I am but I can't make the process go any faster than it already is .. I'm waiting on the judge to sign the divorce papers which could be next week or 2 months from now. So I guess I'm wondering how do I proceed with this .. I like her and I think we'd be great together but this is an issue for her and she wants to wait until I am truly free and single, and I respect that. But I'm finding it a hard line to walk .. still showing her I'm interested but not pulling back too far that I get friend zoned. Anybody been in a similar situation?
carhill Posted June 19, 2016 Posted June 19, 2016 Date women who are OK with your current divorcing status. This particular woman apparently has her boundaries so is currently unavailable to date. After your dissolution is on the record, if the timing is right, that could change. FWIW, when we divorced, we filed the final documents, mainly the MSA (marital settlement agreement), with the clerk of the court, requested judgement by mail, provided the SASE they requested and the court seal was on the dissolution the next day and we had the documents the day after that. I dated a bit while separated and published that reality in my dating profile so women who had the boundaries like the lady in your post wouldn't contact me. Easy enough. Plenty of women out there who did date while divorcing (my exW was one) and will date guys who are divorcing. Find them.
smackie9 Posted June 19, 2016 Posted June 19, 2016 It is what it is. tell her you respect her boundaries, and once the divorce is official, you would be very interested in taking her out for dinner in about 2 months. Then just let it go. Until then by all means date other women, have fun, enjoy yourself, maybe get lucky.
BaileyB Posted June 19, 2016 Posted June 19, 2016 I agree with Smackie. It doesn't mean that you still can't be in touch or see each other, but respect her boundaries and wait until you are officially free and clear. If she is really interested, you might be surprised and she may just wait for you. It's not a terribly long period of time.
kendahke Posted June 19, 2016 Posted June 19, 2016 You pretty much tell her what you said here. You're interested in her and you want to keep her interest until such time as your divorce is executed in the court and you can proceed in the manner in which she'd like--you being completely and legally free. Fair play. If she is inclined to wait and sees a good reason to do so, she will. If he doesn't see a good reason to take herself out of the dating scene for the summer, then you will have to accept friend zone if you want to be in her life. I think that if you do this right, there's no reason for you not having the relationship you'd want with her, or ending up in the friend zone. I seriously can't see why this is an issue--outside of you wanting a sex partner right now.
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