Is this a bad sign? Possessive boyfriend?

[QueenDafine]

I've been dating my first serious boyfriend for a year but we've been exclusive for about five months now. Because of our jobs and busy lives we haven't really ever gone out together like socially; we've been to friend's houses, hung out and all that stuff but never been out drinking together. He used to drink a lot aswell, as much as me, but we haven't had the time to get drunk on weekends lately in all the time we've been together (I'm 19 and he's 24). I've never been drunk around him before. So on Friday I drove to a girlfriends house and she said she was going to a house party with a few friends that me and my boyfriend both know and asked me to come, as I also haven't seen these friends in so long. I texted my boyfriend and he said I could go but he wanted to come as well since he also had no work until Tuesday. I told him to meet me at my friends house. Anyway me and my friend had pre drinks, and I actually got drunk before my boyfriend even showed up (in an hour, I know). When he came and saw that I was drunk he got all weird and was annoyed at my friend for giving me drinks, which I didn't think was a big deal at all. We brushed it off and got into the cab and drove to the party. Anyway, we get out and I was still very tipsy but I can still remember how he was. He kept saying that I'm not going anywhere, and he literally would not let go of me anywhere we went at the party. It got even worse when we actually walked in and people I hadn't seen in a really long time started coming up to me. He was DEATH STARING all the guys and swearing about them under his breath if any of my guy friends (that he also knows!) came up to me and said hi or just smiled. I felt like I couldn't talk to anyone and he just had me with him the whole time, saying I was "Way too wasted" when I was actually fine. I've been drunk millions of times and he knows! When I would try pulling away he would be really serious and just not let me go ANYWHERE. I've never seen him act so possessive and weird before and I got pissed that he sort of ruined one of the nights that I've been able to actually go out and not have to worry about my busy life, one of the only parties I've been to in months, and it wasn't really even much of a party, only about 60 people.I didn't join in with any of my friends taking shots and I didn't have any drinks at the party - he didn't drink anything. We did walk around and talk to a few people but he only really wanted to be alone with me. That's understandable as I hadn't seen him in five days but it was bit suffocating and just not him at all. He was just being too possessive and I want to know if this is a sign?? He has never been abusive, and we haven't really talked about it, though he's made jokes about how drunk I was. I've wanted to ask him about how he was being but he sorta left it at that. I dunno, just looking for a bit of clarity as I'm pretty thrown off by this, it was out of character for him to be swearing about other guy friends and making threatening comments and just staring at them like he was going to kill them?? I have no idea where that came from and why he was being like that. Because I was drunk? I don't know. He's said in the past that he didn't want me going to any parties because there would be too many "thirsty guys", he said I could go though but just not drink. Had a few incidents of him being possessive and jealous in the past but this opened my eyes. I don't like being controlled and manhandeled in any way and it makes me feel stupid for being drunk in front of him and that it could become a problem in the future. Am I looking too much into this?? Is it normal??

[Lois_Griffin]

I think your 24-year old boyfriend got himself a real good taste of what it's like to date a teenager whose been 'drunk a million times' and feels you're too immature to carry yourself like an adult. Sorry.

[BaileyB]

I'd like to think that he was just concerned about you, because its not a very safe situation for you. I would imagine that he is probably also thinking that he saw you in a different way that night too.

[Satu]

No matter what appeal you may possess, the more drunk you get, the less you have of it.

[SincereOnlineGuy]

I've been dating my first serious boyfriend for a year but we've been exclusive for about five months now. Because of our jobs and busy lives we haven't really ever gone out together like socially; we've been to friend's houses, hung out and all that stuff but never been out drinking together. He used to drink a lot aswell, as much as me, but we haven't had the time to get drunk on weekends lately in all the time we've been together (I'm 19 and he's 24). I've never been drunk around him before. So on Friday I drove to a girlfriends house and she said she was going to a house party with a few friends that me and my boyfriend both know and asked me to come, as I also haven't seen these friends in so long. I texted my boyfriend and he said I could go but he wanted to come as well since he also had no work until Tuesday. I told him to meet me at my friends house. Anyway me and my friend had pre drinks, and I actually got drunk before my boyfriend even showed up (in an hour, I know). When he came and saw that I was drunk he got all weird and was annoyed at my friend for giving me drinks, which I didn't think was a big deal at all. We brushed it off and got into the cab and drove to the party. Anyway, we get out and I was still very tipsy but I can still remember how he was. He kept saying that I'm not going anywhere, and he literally would not let go of me anywhere we went at the party. It got even worse when we actually walked in and people I hadn't seen in a really long time started coming up to me. He was DEATH STARING all the guys and swearing about them under his breath if any of my guy friends (that he also knows!) came up to me and said hi or just smiled. I felt like I couldn't talk to anyone and he just had me with him the whole time, saying I was "Way too wasted" when I was actually fine. I've been drunk millions of times and he knows! When I would try pulling away he would be really serious and just not let me go ANYWHERE. I've never seen him act so possessive and weird before and I got pissed that he sort of ruined one of the nights that I've been able to actually go out and not have to worry about my busy life, one of the only parties I've been to in months, and it wasn't really even much of a party, only about 60 people.I didn't join in with any of my friends taking shots and I didn't have any drinks at the party - he didn't drink anything. We did walk around and talk to a few people but he only really wanted to be alone with me. That's understandable as I hadn't seen him in five days but it was bit suffocating and just not him at all. He was just being too possessive and I want to know if this is a sign?? He has never been abusive, and we haven't really talked about it, though he's made jokes about how drunk I was. I've wanted to ask him about how he was being but he sorta left it at that. I dunno, just looking for a bit of clarity as I'm pretty thrown off by this, it was out of character for him to be swearing about other guy friends and making threatening comments and just staring at them like he was going to kill them?? I have no idea where that came from and why he was being like that. Because I was drunk? I don't know. He's said in the past that he didn't want me going to any parties because there would be too many "thirsty guys", he said I could go though but just not drink. Had a few incidents of him being possessive and jealous in the past but this opened my eyes. I don't like being controlled and manhandeled in any way and it makes me feel stupid for being drunk in front of him and that it could become a problem in the future. Am I looking too much into this?? Is it normal??

 

 

 

I suspect there is the backbone of possible concern there, but the rest of us can't view the story clearly through the amber colored glasses.