TheGreatDivide Posted June 19, 2016 Posted June 19, 2016 Hey guys, been a long time since I posted here, but I've only recently gotten back into the dating scene and I am in need of some advice. I'm going to try to get through the background story as quick as I can. So, about six weeks ago (early May), on a social dating site, this really pretty girl messaged me out of the blue on a Monday (and to be honest, I wouldn't have come across her profile if she never messaged me). We talked back and forth for about a week, with the time between messages growing a bit towards the weekend. On that Friday, I decided that I liked talking to this girl enough to ask her out. I was a bit nervous because she is the first person that I've met online that I asked to a date. She didn't reply until the following Monday. By that point, I had assumed her answer by the silence I had gotten. She shocked the crap out of me by saying that she would love to go, but she wanted to get a little more information on who I was (and to make sure I wasn't a crazy psycho dude) before actually meeting. I had no problem with this and we exchanged our Instagram. We kept talking through that app until about 3 weeks ago when I asked if we could use something else to talk to each other. Personally, it was because whenever people would see me online, I'd get weird messages and before we started talking, I hardly ever used that site. I thought we were just going to add each other on FB, but instead she gave me her number, complimented on how I asked her and said that she'd been wanting to do the same for a bit too. After texting for a little under a week (again, the texts had kinda stopped during the weekend), I asked her if she was still interested in that date and if she had any time free later that week, she again, said that she'd love to and we set a time and date. We probably should have planned it out a bit better because we both had time constraints and had to cancel (I had work immediately following the date and she had a prior engagement). We texted a bit more that night, said goodnight and we didn't text each other until Monday (this past Monday). I texted her first and we rescheduled for Friday again. We talked until Tuesday which I then told her that I was going to be away from my phone until Thursday, but that I would text her that Thursday night to make sure our plans were still a go. I did just that, but she told me pretty late on Thursday that she was pretty sick and needed to reschedule. I was pretty disappointed, but understood and was grateful that she told me the day before and not the day of. I was actually just fighting off being sick too. We texted a bit more on Friday, I said something about the place she wanted to meet at, saying that the menu looked really good, to which she replied to likes of "IT'S AMAZING" and that we have to go. We haven't texted since. For the record, until this past week, the conversation during the week has been frequent and good regardless of what medium we used and almost every weekend, it dies down again. Either she'll text me goodnight (usually with a smile emoji) or she'll just not respond. She told me really early on that she's been told that she seems cold over text, even though she isn't in person and that she hardly ever uses emojis. I totally get that as I've been told the same by my friends and for the record, I'm a terrible texter. I've not responded to people before. It's never because I was bored or annoyed, but it's usually because I simply forgot to. Now, what I don't understand is that ever since we switched to texting each other, I've usually been the one to initiate the conversation, but whenever I do, the conversation is good and flowing. She also has never not responded to me initiating the convo. I've never gotten the impression that she doesn't want to talk to me, or that I annoy her, but the insecurity in myself, fears that I do. I've also gotten the impression from her that with her last relationship, she was the one whose heart was broken and who was the dumpee. So from what I've written (sorry about the essay) does it seem like she's just trying to keep me interested by making me initiate the conversation? Is she just aloof when it comes to texting like I am? Or is the interest dying down a bit? I'm pretty sure that I'm making this out to be a bigger deal more than it actually is, and that it is just my insecurities talking, which can be quite hard to shut up. A big thank you to anyone who actually bothered to read this and to give any advice.
Lois_Griffin Posted June 19, 2016 Posted June 19, 2016 Well it sounds as though you've used all these lame apps to 'chat' but have you actually TALKED to her on a human level? Not through a lame cell phone app, but TALKED? More so, you haven't even met in all these 6 WEEKS of messaging and texting? Yeah, there's a reason for that. I wouldn't be surprised if this woman had several 'texting buddies' just like you that she keeps revolving around her during the week. Then the weekend comes around and she's busy with her boyfriend and you all get ghosted - until Monday rolls around and musical chairs begins again. Stop wasting your time. 1
4x4storm Posted June 19, 2016 Posted June 19, 2016 (edited) I kind of had a similar thing happen a few weeks ago http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/584713-final-update-have-i-lost-her-interest-good While my situation was a little different it pretty much follows the same path. Start messaging with a very attractive girl you are getting along so well you ask her out it never happens for what ever reason so you find yourself still messaging her a 1 month later. All I can say is you need to make the date happen asap! what I would do is giver her another 2 weeks max if it doesn't happen straight out ask her if she's even interested. Edit: Like Lois said above you could be nothing more then a "Texting Buddy" turns out I was with my story above. We can't say for certain but it happens all the time. Edited June 19, 2016 by 4x4storm
Zippy2000 Posted June 19, 2016 Posted June 19, 2016 Are you sure this person you are chatting to is a real person? Does her profile have lots and lots of photos of her and with friends? Ive had friend requests from randoms in the past who only have one profile picture and no friends. Theres a phrase called "catfish" on the internet which means someone who is pretending to be someone else under a fake profile. I agree with the above messages. If you arent meeting in say the next 2 weeks. Its unlikely it will go anywhere. Just be careful who you accept as friend requests and why someone is so interested in you. My brother had his profile cloned when e accepted a friend request and the person decided to copy all his pics and pretended to be my brother! Be careful on the net.
katiegrl Posted June 19, 2016 Posted June 19, 2016 Well it sounds as though you've used all these lame apps to 'chat' but have you actually TALKED to her on a human level? Not through a lame cell phone app, but TALKED? More so, you haven't even met in all these 6 WEEKS of messaging and texting? Yeah, there's a reason for that. I wouldn't be surprised if this woman had several 'texting buddies' just like you that she keeps revolving around her during the week. Then the weekend comes around and she's busy with her boyfriend and you all get ghosted - until Monday rolls around and musical chairs begins again. Stop wasting your time. Agree with LG, she's got something else going on on the weekends ... most likely a boyfriend...
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