khy Posted June 26, 2005 Posted June 26, 2005 First time posting here. Guess i just need to let out what i am thinking. Have not been able to sleep well in a few months. In 1993 i was in a crash i lost my ex and was in the hospital for along time while in there i found out i had cancer and been in and out of the hospital for a even longer time. I'm in remission so that is all good and its somewhat of a touch subject with me hate the pity. a few years ago i met a girl she was 18 and i knew she liked me i pushed her away at the time i didnt think i would be around long and didnt want to hurt someone like that. about 6 months ago she showed up again she is 21 now so its been a few years. we started to talk and got together.now she just had got out of a bad breakup and she still talks about her ex all the time she even tells me about the time they were together. It hurts when she does she even told me she got jealous she saw him with someone else and they work at the same place. When we got together months back we were happy now she picks fights all the time and gets mad alot. even got yelled at for saying I love you to her. lastnight we had a talk and i told her everything i was feeling she says she does not want to be with him and loves me but i dont believe her i feel like a rebound. She has called 3 times today and i ignored them all she left messages saying she loves me and for me to call back. last night after we talked and hung up i felt like it was over and it hurts. i think she still loves her ex and wants him but does not want to hurt me. hurts more knowing i am not the one she is thinking about. she never deined it when i asked her. i guess just want to know what you all think. dont really have friends or family i can talk to about this.
lindya Posted June 26, 2005 Posted June 26, 2005 You've obviously been through a lot of stuff, which maybe makes you cagey around relationships - and, of course, if a person brings caginess to a relationship then it makes it that bit harder for things to work out. Toss into the equation the fact that your girlfriend keeps on about her ex, and it's making it even harder for the pair of you to connect in a harmonious way. It is pretty crap that she's talking about her ex all the time. Romantic relationships really should be on the school curriculum - and lesson number one would definitely have to be "the ex is history, so don't bend your new love's ear about him/her". If she can't stop talking about this guy then she has a problem, because that dead relationship is jeopardising the fresh relationship she has with you. It might be an idea to take a deep breath, make sure you feel calm, then return her call and let her know that you're going to give her a bit of space because she doesn't seem ready for another relationship right now. If she pleads and cries just let her know that you're not playing games with her, but it's no fun for you to be spending time with a woman who seems to have another guy on her mind all the time. Hopefully you'll get a variety of advice here, and can go with whatever suits best....and you might want to start another thread later on about ideas for meeting new people. Are you working just now? Have you got interests that you could pursue in order to get a bit more of a social circle around you?
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