breaking up for good n you should too

[frustratedguy11]

. .Well its a long story. But ive been through way to much bs with my gf and i cant take it anymore. My gf has put me through hell n back n ill explain what happend n what not n why i want out.

 

5 years ago i was dumped by my baby mama. She ripped my heart our n destroyed me. She was super mean after the breakup n my life went spiraling down. She dumped me right after i graduated high school. We have a child too. Ger reason was she wanted to explore. Her behavor after that didnt make anysence. Basically she went dark. Called me every name in the book n tried to kick me while i was down. Even took me to court n tried to take my kid away n she got married a month after she dumped me. To the second guy after she dumped me. My family was baffled n her family was confuesed. Still to this day she is hateful to me. Just to rap things up. 5 years later n 15000 dollars of lawyer bills nothing will change. Same week on week off schedual . But now its on paper.

 

So. A year after our breakup. I met another girl. We hung out lots and eventually started dating things were awsome. Right before our three year she too did a 360 on me. Left me for another guy. N started saying really mean things n went well crazy. I started thinking it was me . But we hardly argued. Got along great. She got bored n left me. N played touch n go for 6 months so that i couldnt move on.

 

So we got back to gether. Me being inlove took every punch from her. I wasnt man enoygh to walk away from someone i loved who clearly didnt love me. She treated me like crap for a long time for no reason. N wasnt even regretful for wat she did.

 

Finally things got back to normal. Or so i though. She started yelling lots. Everyday. She blames me. Argues with me. Tells me to get lost all the time. Crys. Freaksout. Yells at the kuds all the time. Shes very narcissistic. Threatens me daily to breakup. She even never pays her bills anymore. Drank n drove n crashed her new vehicle. Her debt n spending habbits are costing me money. N she gets mad when i question her about money or anything.

 

The problem is i live with her n everytime we fight she says everything is hers n the house is hers n the bed is hers n its just out of control. Right now she locked me out of our bedroom n. When i tried to go to bed she screamed at the top of her lungs. She acts like a child or bipolar n she constantly accuses me of cheating.

 

I regret saving my relationship after she left. Its like the devil took her. Or like that book the monkeys paw..

 

I love her. But its not her anymore. Shes not herself.

 

What do i do. N why is she like this.

[Miss.A]

Have you tried to talk to her in a calm manor, where you are both able to express your feelings and emotions?

 

I think she might be holding in a lot of things, and you need to be there to hear what she has to say and she also has to be there to hear your side too. If you talk about the problems first openly you have the opportunity to decide if anything is worth fixing. This way if you also decide to end the relationship, since you both had the opportunity to express your thoughts it will be a lot easier on you both.

[mightycpa]

Have you ever thought about getting your own place, and being in charge of your life, so that you're the person who decides who stays and who goes?

 

Why are you like this? Take the reigns and take control of your life.

[basil67]

Just take what you came in with and get out of there. Yes, you might take a financial hit on items bought together, but you'll recover from that in time.

[frustratedguy11]

Weve been together for almost 6 years. N were having a baby.

 

She has a daughter who is 9. And i have a daughter who is 9.

 

My gf is kinda not fair to my kid. My daughter goes mad n quiet n my gf has light attitude towards her. Me n my gfs kid butt heads but we have a semi ok relationship. My daughter n my gf dont have one.

 

My gf is mind stuck that my kid hates her which isnt true. My daughter just doesnt like how my gfs kid is favored by her mother.

 

My gf expects my daughter to take the first step n be more close n she says shes tried but i see how she is towards my daughter n its not the same as it is towards hers. Now obviously theres an unconditional bond threw blood .

 

But for example. My gfs kid gives attitude daily to her mom. Shell cry n get mad and be stubborn n my gf will temporarily ground her. But when my kid does something similar or milder. She takes it personlly n will give my daughtrr attitude or hold a grudge for a long time.

 

One example is she bought them books. My gfs kid was being rude n wouldnt listen so she got introuble . After my gf went and "squashed" the issue with her. She gave her the new book as a present. Now my daughter didnt listen in the morning n didnt get ready. N its been 4 days and my gf is in "give up" mode over it and wont give my kid the books.

 

Thats just one example. N yea i get that kids shouldnt be rewarded for bsd behavoir. But why does she hold grudges towards my kid whos not even half as bad as hers?

 

When i try n talk to my gf about it she trys to ping pong it back towards my kid n my kids fault. Im not taking sides. But i feel that they are equally at fault.

 

I feel like my gf babies her child even though there the same age.

 

I feel like i. Defending my kid all the time because its like my gf picks on her.

 

I understand disaplin. But even ehen it comes to other things.

 

For example.

My kid was trying to get her bike out of the shed n she didnt help her. She says." If she needs help dhe can ask me herself" . But when her kid was trying to get her bike out she looks at me n says "well are you gonna help her"

 

So obviously theres some grudge or hate or something how she is.

 

Im not quite sure how to deal with this but the only difference between our kids is that mine i only have a week on n a week off. Hers is fulltime n her baby daddy is a loser. My gf n ex dont get along either.

 

How do i get my gf to stop being crabby n unfair at my kid. And how do i get my kid to stop being so un involved in our family.

 

How do you approach this.

[Tayla]

1: Show some support for your daughter. Have a family meeting and be stern in what is and isn't tolerated.

Favoritism keeps cultivating because someone is Not nipping this abruptly to a halt.

 

This lady is less motherly .. Or even respecting ... This isn't going to get better given the six years that have transpired with zero improvement.

 

I feel sorry for the child who is treated poorly. What have you done to encourage your daughter that she is loved and valued??

[frustratedguy11]

Yea i know it sounds bad but its true.

 

So we havent been getting along for a long time. Befor she was pregnant.

She was n still is always a super rude. []

 

I feel like shes trapping me with this pregnancy. She said she was on bc. N we hardly had sex in 4 months. Makes me wonder if its even mine because she has cheated on me before.

 

We were on the process of breaking up n then we found out.

 

Shes rude to my family n my mother n my daughter.

 

She is a control freak. N she is always treating me like crap n trying to dominate every situation n everything we own. I feel like a prisoner here n i really dont want a kid with her.

 

I feel so stupid for ever loving her. Our relationship was rainbows loly pops unicorns n gumdrops or how ever the fk yu want to put it. But then she flat out cheated n left n did a 180 n i was heart broke n felt like i lost my soul.

 

I cried lots while she kicked me while i was down n i was too stupid to walk away

 

I guess people change. Probably why my dad wasnt in my life. Because my mom prpbably treated him some ****ty way

 

 

What should i do. Be a slave to her n let her treat me ln my family like crap. Or should i. Leave ir what. Like this is too screwed up

Edited May 4, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Language ~6

[SammySammy]

[Gloria25]

Reading your other threads about her, why would you trust her word that she's on BC?

 

Sorry, some things can't be fixed. You knocked up the wrong person. Gotta grin and bear it for the next 18 years.

 

Try to remember that your child is the innocent party here who didn't ask to be created/born - especially in this chaos. Put your energy and focus about being there for your child.

 

Can you get her to legally sign over her parental rights and you two adopt the child to a loving and stable couple?

[ChickiePops]

Birth control or not, you run the risk of impregnating a woman every single time you have sex. She didn't trip and fall into your penis, you put it inside of her. It's 50% your fault and it's 50% your responsibility. So no, you cannot abandon her or your baby..at least not financially. It's disgusting that that's even an option for you.

 

You say you have a daughter..would you just up and walk out on her too? Your dad wasn't in your life because he is a bad person and was not a suitable candidate for parenthood. A good parent fights for their child regardless of how they few about their co-parent.

 

Own up to your responsibilities and be there for your baby. At this point it doesn't matter one bit if this was an accident or not..there is an innocent baby's well being at stake. That's the only thing that matters.

[frustratedguy11]

Well where im at is.

 

Eversince we got back together. Its been a bumpy ride. The hardest part has been getting over the fact that she cheated n left for someone else. Things finally got better. For a bit. She is from a split family. 2 siblings on her dads side n 3 on her moms. Well she stoped talking n hanging out with her siblings on her moms side

 

The reason why is there all drama filled alcoholics. Well like 6 months go by since i have seen any of them. N now there messaging my gf telling her that i cheated which i didnt. There story switched 3 times about how this happend n now her brothers ex gf is saying that its true( he dumped her n shes the one im being accused of cheating with) ive only met this girl twice. I tried confronting her n everyone whos involved with this rumor. She rote my gf a msg saying its all true n all her family are backing this chick up

 

Im like wtf! Idont even know this girl. Her n her family are saying i slepT with her. Which i didnt n now my gf thinks im this cheater

 

Her family is blamming me for my gf changing her life. She used to be this drunk n now shes doing better education n work n they think im steing her away.

 

Anyways blahh blah. My gfs pregnant. But this drama with her family trying to breakus up n throw me under the bus is getting outta control.

 

I want to dump her because she is treating me like **** n she seems to forget that she actually cheated on me n now im falsly being frammed. Its crazy but its true.

 

What would you do,?

[gimlynick]

Is your girlfriend pregnant because of you?

 

If yes: You're screwed

 

If not: Run away. Fast, far, forever.

 

She has cheated allready on you. Why on earth should you get back together with a wh*re?

 

If her family is this messed up, it's very likely that she is aswell. Why do you want a messed up girl? Try to date girls who have a stable life.

[RecentChange]

Well, I read your post and wondered why you would CHOOSE to be a part of all this drama. Cheating GF, crazy drunk family meddling - not things I would want to choose to get involved with like you have - and I was thinking RUN!

 

But then you added "she's pregnant" like that is some sort of insignificant detail.

 

SHE IS PREGNANT!?!

 

Why did you get her pregnant? Did bringing a kid into this situation seem like a wise choice?

 

What to do , hum.... if you "dump her" are you still going to be around to raise this child you are bringing into the world?

 

Getting her pregnant really limited your choices - she is going to be a part of your life for the next 18 years.

 

Do you want this drunken full of drama family raising YOUR Child?

[frustratedguy11]

So i admit defeat. Ive been posting on here for this n that n im done.

 

Posting this for all you who was dumped by someone you loved. Yea you CAN get them back. N if you hada good relationship. Theyll come back. It will happen . But for the love of yourself please never take back an ex!

 

I loved my gf threw the roof. We were best friends n partners in crime. But she SHE screwed up n left me for someone outta the blue. After 3 years. I cried. I was shocked hurt n devastated. I never let go because i didnt know what i know now. I thought i could save us. Fix us. Make it work. So i stood on standby n waited for her.

 

How pathetic right? Yup! Well when you get Back together you think things will be rainbows lollipops unicorns n fcking gum drops. Well hellz no! First of all. Ur ""love""" was screwing someone else. Second of all most of the reason you got back was outta giult from them. Third youll never be good enough because apparently you werent before.

 

The worst part. Suddenly all their people hate you.like you did something wrong. But really they just talked **** to make themselves not look like the bad guy.

 

The one thing i regret the most! The most!!!!!! I had the chance to move on n give her a taste of medicine. She came crawling back to me after the new thing failed n i loved her so much i welcomed with open arms. N rite there i lost my balls. Ego. Self respect. Because all i cared about was love HAH. Love what a load of crap. I had the chance to reject her n do better but i didnt

 

The first time i left i was thrown out like trash n i was the good guy. Her family loved me. Now im leaving on my own. N some how i turned into the bad guy.

 

Do your self a favor n learn from my mistake. I never had a dad in my life to give me a headsup. So if you read this. When they come crawling back. Please reject them n do better

 

Because the dumpee is always the one with the power. It just doesnt seem that way. As for my self. Im going to biuld my life iver again n do even better.

 

I had the chance with a beautiful girl. But i walked away from it for this person who was swallowed by a demon n lost for ever. Cheers

[Trinity7]

I'm glad you've gotten there in your head-- I'm working on it.. I agree it's best in most cases to turn down a reconciliation attempt.. They never really work once the trust is broken