Dating a doctor or dealership owner

[Risktaker1]

Sorry for the long winded explanation. I should probably post this on student doctor, but here goes. I'll include everything with pure facts so I can get some intelligent guided responses.

 

I'm 31, decent looking, 5'11 athletic and nother overy weight, no bad habbits. I was an investment banker as an oil/gas trader with an MBA. Made low to mid six figures up until 26. Got tired of it. Decided to help out society and pursue law school, I dropped out because the business side of me didn't see the compensation making sense. Admitted to med school a few years later at 30. I dropped out of that as well before it started because I was making more money with my business.

 

Here's the interesting part, I had a business I started while I was ibanking. I scaled I bigger each year, that partially played a role in me quitting on med school and rationalizing everything. At this point I'm pulling in approx 250k a yr after taxes with plenty of upside since Ive been reserved on growing it because of future goals with medicine etc. I own a dealership, yea I sell cars : / I love it . I became a millionaire faster and more reliably than I could've imagined than if I was a lawyer or dr, in a shorter amount of time. I have 0 debt, Owned and driven hundreds of cars, put my parents into early retirement, paid off their home, paid for my sisters college. Things that an MD or JD couldn't do until they were established. And at which point, that materialistic woman would reap the benefits from. So IMO, he deserves her lol.

 

Here's the issue! I can't tell a single girl what I do. There's no way they'll ever take me seriously. I have bouts with this all of the time, and regret skipping medical school. Its not that im not smart enough, i just saw a smarter way to living life rather than being a nerd and having some girl appreciate me for what she'll benefit from. I have no issues with connecting with women, unlike most MDs, which need to disclose that they're a doctor. Let's be honest, if these guys weren't MDs, would they get the women? Lol Thats debateable. Infact, if I was an MD I wouldn't tell her until the 2nd date to vette her out. I have a type, she has to be educated, and def not a free loader if she's walking into my situation. So I've clicked well with drs and some lawyers. I just don't like dating women my age. And I feel like if I was an MD I could have that perfect setup.

 

I get it. Women like stability reliability intellect power social status and the ease of saying what they're hubby/bf does. Just like guys like youth and beauty, women need surety. Am I wrong for not wanting the type of girl that values the MD over the person? How should I work thru my employment debacle? I feel my self thinking about reapplying to med school because the types of women I go for are usually 9s or 10s (I have a passion for growth, learning, but not directly medicine it self, but it has more to do with the challenege and helping others out). As I get older, the less likely it is for them to take me seriously if I'm not doing something "socially acceptable" or relatable. Something that their girl friends can be impressed/jealous about. Some women are interesting lol.

 

Thoughts? And thanks for taking the time to read this mess.

Edited June 19, 2016 by Risktaker1
Typos

[Els]

If the sole or even main reason you want to become a doctor is to 'attract women' - chances are you won't get through med school, let alone residency. Also, while doctors might attract shallower types by virtue of their profession alone, it's unlikely that the sort of woman who actually is capable of loving someone for who they are and standing by their side for the long haul would be so easily taken in. You need more than that - personality matters more than profession.

 

But given that you yourself appear to value women based on a rating on a hypothetical 'appearance scale' instead of who they are as a person, I daresay you and the women you speak of would be perfect for each other. The only people really suffering in this scenario, if you actually manage to get past med school, would be the patients.

[Risktaker1]

Attracting women isn't the sole reason for med school. Its a personal goal for me (MD), but I have to be cognizant of what gaining an MD will entitle me to, so that I won't be disillusioned by the newly inherited attention by a new flock of women. Women want what other women, have or chase after. It's genetically carved into them.

 

Med school for me has to do with giving back, but the corporatization of medicine now has me realizing that this is more of a business decision and an investment for my future. The patients quality of care depends on a variety of factors. As an MD either your self absorbed by the glutinous attention you now receive for your hard work, or you naturally have a good heart and want to provide care. I'm in the camp of the latter. I've never been groomed to be an MD. I was successful at other things, so this is just a challenege and a testament to doing what you set your eyes on. No goal is out of reach. I'm just disappointed in (some) of the opposite gender in how they value relationships transactionally.

[BaileyB]

As a woman, I will tell you that I was totally put off by your post... I don't care what you do for a living, what kind of car your drive, how young you were when you made your first million... I personally want to know that you have a stable job that you are passionate about what you do/contribute to the world. After that, I want to know what kind of a person you are and this, is what I consider when deciding if I want to date you.

 

It's so much more about who you are as a person - are you kind, considerate, hard working, intelligent, funny, easy going, etc... In your post, you seem to value things (money, material belongings, professional titles) that are quite shallow and superficial and you come across as pretty arrogant in your assumptions about women, relationships, and what a woman would want in a man. Maybe I'm wrong, because I don't know you. Just my impression based on your post.

 

No doubt, you will find women who are impressed by the MD, the dollars in your bank account, and your cars and other possessions... But a woman of substance will not be overly impressed by any of these things and will in fact, be turned off by your sense of entitlement and your attitude toward women and relationships.

Edited June 19, 2016 by BaileyB

[BaileyB]

I have to be cognizant of what gaining an MD will entitle me to, so that I won't be disillusioned by the newly inherited attention by a new flock of women. Women want what other women, have or chase after. It's genetically carved into them.

 

Wow! I'm not sure what to say. You sure have an interesting way of looking at things. This sense of entitlement is so unattractive and your thoughts about what women want... So insulting.

[Risktaker1]

Ok, so I don't feel like I was being arrogant, I was listing out my situation and painting a picture with words to get some decent responses. I don't flaunt my cars or anything material, I'm my self during a date. To reiterate, I feel like my assets have to be shown, because I don't have a job that's relatable to many people. So again, the JD or MD have a relatable job title, where as a dealership owner doesnt. So I'm trying to figure out the psyche of women that gravitate towards a title rather than a good guy. I may not have been clear in my original post, that's probably my fault.

 

Based on my experience, the type of women I'm going for have achieved alot in their careers as well as having a minimum of a masters/under grad if not more. . I'm not shallow and don't reveal anything about my personal achievements until it's time. I did it here, just to give you an idea of where I'm coming from.

[Risktaker1]

No doubt, you will find women who are impressed by the MD, the dollars in your bank account, and your cars and other possessions... But a woman of substance will not be overly impressed by any of these things and will in fact, be turned off by your sense of entitlement and your attitude toward women and relationships.

 

That's about the only thing I agree with you on here.

 

Look I'll be honest, and this is the consensus amongst eligible bachelor's I know whom are great guys. Women, atleast the ones we've met, seen, dated, etc....want something beyond the intangible character qualities that you mentioned. Just like guys are looking for that certain "type" women play that same game. If your negating the economics of dating and finding the one, then youre one of the few. It's competitive out there.

[BaileyB]

Dealership owner isn't relatable? Just challenging your thinking...

 

I have a college degree and it seems pretty easy to understand to me. You own a business. You sell cars. No university degree required to do that... No professional title or professional registration required. But, you are a very successful entrepreneur who has built a very successful business. What's hard to understand about that?

 

And, just for your information... I also work in the medical profession. I don't have MD behind my name, but I have a professional title and I am registered to practice my profession. I would have no problem dating you if you told me you owned your own business. It wouldn't make one difference to me whether you were and MD or owned your own business. But, that's just me.

Edited June 19, 2016 by BaileyB

[BaileyB]

If your negating the economics of dating and finding the one, then youre one of the few. It's competitive out there.

 

I know it is. And, I don't mean to be unkind. I'm just challenging your thinking, because I think it's a little off. To the right woman, I don't think any of these things will matter as much as you think. But, it all depends what type of woman you are wanting to date. Someone who wants you for your money and style, or someone who wants more substance in the man she chooses. Good luck to you.

[Risktaker1]

There's more to it, which obviously you're missing. I'm not surprised either. There's a pecking order in society, regardless of what the bank account says. Drs will always be praised, and rightfully so, but why is it that women flock to them before any other profession. Bare in mind, Healthcare is a small fraction of GDP in the US. The rest of the economy functions off of many other industries and not just medicine.

 

Again the premise of my question was, is theRe a weight that "some", not all, women....place on a job title? And is there a mental correlation with stability, consistency, money, social status, with the title when you're about to consider dating someone over someone else?

[elaine567]

There's more to it, which obviously you're missing. I'm not surprised either. There's a pecking order in society, regardless of what the bank account says. Drs will always be praised, and rightfully so, but why is it that women flock to them before any other profession. Bare in mind, Healthcare is a small fraction of GDP in the US. The rest of the economy functions off of many other industries and not just medicine.

 

Again the premise of my question was, is theRe a weight that "some", not all, women....place on a job title? And is there a mental correlation with stability, consistency, money, social status, with the title when you're about to consider dating someone over someone else?

 

The thing is here that may go against you for any woman looking for stability and a future, is that your career choices have been all over the shop, with dropping out and quitting and not actually sticking with anything.

Yes, you have landed on your feet and been successful, but there is no consistency here and for any educated woman that is a red flag.

 

Yes, you will attract the superficial and the gold diggers, but the kind of woman you want will be looking for depth and that is lacking here.

Becoming a doctor now will not give you the kudos you want with educated women as your track record is not that of the usual MD.

YOU will not be as accepted as you would want to be, because of all the ducking and diving that is in your past. You do not stick to anything for long and that is always going to be a worry for any woman looking for a long term partner, with or without the "doctor" label.

I have heard of lots of reasons people want to be doctors but scoring with young 9s and 10s, (with a vague sense of wanting to help people) must be the worst reason ever...

[tinkerbell16]

If the sole or even main reason you want to become a doctor is to 'attract women' - chances are you won't get through med school, let alone residency. Also, while doctors might attract shallower types by virtue of their profession alone, it's unlikely that the sort of woman who actually is capable of loving someone for who they are and standing by their side for the long haul would be so easily taken in. You need more than that - personality matters more than profession.

 

But given that you yourself appear to value women based on a rating on a hypothetical 'appearance scale' instead of who they are as a person, I daresay you and the women you speak of would be perfect for each other. The only people really suffering in this scenario, if you actually manage to get past med school, would be the patients.

 

Wish I could "like" this 30 times!

[tinkerbell16]

As a woman, I will tell you that I was totally put off by your post... I don't care what you do for a living, what kind of car your drive, how young you were when you made your first million... I personally want to know that you have a stable job that you are passionate about what you do/contribute to the world. After that, I want to know what kind of a person you are and this, is what I consider when deciding if I want to date you.

 

It's so much more about who you are as a person - are you kind, considerate, hard working, intelligent, funny, easy going, etc... In your post, you seem to value things (money, material belongings, professional titles) that are quite shallow and superficial and you come across as pretty arrogant in your assumptions about women, relationships, and what a woman would want in a man. Maybe I'm wrong, because I don't know you. Just my impression based on your post.

 

No doubt, you will find women who are impressed by the MD, the dollars in your bank account, and your cars and other possessions... But a woman of substance will not be overly impressed by any of these things and will in fact, be turned off by your sense of entitlement and your attitude toward women and relationships.

 

As a woman of substance, I have dated doctors, NOT for the reasons OP posts about (I am equally sucessful), I just seem to have a doctor magnet. From my experience, they shared the view of the OP... very materialistic, shallow, entitled and in a wonderful dichotomy (sarcasm here) ultimately insecure and controlling. OP, if you are even remotely considering becoming an MD for the ability to attract "9/10" women you will get exactly that. Quality women however will not stick around long enough once they see through your shallow core... I just pray I don't end up a patient or your date for that matter.

If you truly want a quality girl, stick right where you are. Nothing wrong with owning a car dealership. You are probably projecting your own feelings about your roads not chosen (Law School, Med School) onto your dates. If YOU are not proud and passionate about what you do how do you expect the women you date to be?

[tinkerbell16]

Attracting women isn't the sole reason for med school. Its a personal goal for me (MD), but I have to be cognizant of what gaining an MD will entitle me to, so that I won't be disillusioned by the newly inherited attention by a new flock of women. Women want what other women, have or chase after. It's genetically carved into them.

 

Med school for me has to do with giving back, but the corporatization of medicine now has me realizing that this is more of a business decision and an investment for my future. The patients quality of care depends on a variety of factors. As an MD either your self absorbed by the glutinous attention you now receive for your hard work, or you naturally have a good heart and want to provide care. I'm in the camp of the latter. I've never been groomed to be an MD. I was successful at other things, so this is just a challenege and a testament to doing what you set your eyes on. No goal is out of reach. I'm just disappointed in (some) of the opposite gender in how they value relationships transactionally.

 

Wait, whaaa??? Becoming an MD "entitles" you to a flock of women? Then you go on to say you are disappointed in the opposite gender in how they value relationships transactionally? With an entitled mentality you will attract EXACTLY the women who WON'T value you for more than what your MD status provides them... and all while they are banging the pool boy. It would be wise to consider how your wants, goals, ideologies and fears are maligned.

[BaileyB]

As a woman of substance, I have dated doctors, NOT for the reasons OP posts about (I am equally sucessful), I just seem to have a doctor magnet. From my experience, they shared the view of the OP... very materialistic, shallow, entitled and in a wonderful dichotomy (sarcasm here) ultimately insecure and controlling. OP, if you are even remotely considering becoming an MD for the ability to attract "9/10" women you will get exactly that. Quality women however will not stick around long enough once they see through your shallow core... I just pray I don't end up a patient or your date for that matter.

 

I too have dated doctors and I have some friends that are married to doctors. Not all doctors are like this, but it has also been my experience. I agree with everything you have said.

 

Also agree that the problem for women will not be the job, but the frequent changes of job. Consistent with someone who is not very stable and would not be something that I would want in a partner.

[tinkerbell16]

Ok, so I don't feel like I was being arrogant, I was listing out my situation and painting a picture with words to get some decent responses. I don't flaunt my cars or anything material, I'm my self during a date. To reiterate, I feel like my assets have to be shown, because I don't have a job that's relatable to many people. So again, the JD or MD have a relatable job title, where as a dealership owner doesnt. So I'm trying to figure out the psyche of women that gravitate towards a title rather than a good guy. I may not have been clear in my original post, that's probably my fault.

 

Based on my experience, the type of women I'm going for have achieved alot in their careers as well as having a minimum of a masters/under grad if not more. . I'm not shallow and don't reveal anything about my personal achievements until it's time. I did it here, just to give you an idea of where I'm coming from.

 

With all due respect, (and I am trying to help here you are already doing what I would recommend for finding a quality women on a date. Do these women specifically say you are lacking in achievement? I am curious how you came to this conclusion that this is the issue?

[tinkerbell16]

That's about the only thing I agree with you on here.

 

Look I'll be honest, and this is the consensus amongst eligible bachelor's I know whom are great guys. Women, atleast the ones we've met, seen, dated, etc....want something beyond the intangible character qualities that you mentioned. Just like guys are looking for that certain "type" women play that same game. If your negating the economics of dating and finding the one, then youre one of the few. It's competitive out there.

 

I must be one of the few, like Bailey. I ironically was taken out to dinner just 3 weeks ago by, wait for it, a doctor. He spouted the same concerns AT DINNER (women after him for wrong reasons) He proceeded to order everything without even asking what I wanted and practically forced me to eat things I don't even normally eat, talked about his exes incessantly and negatively then he drove away in his... Lamborghini. And he wonders why he can't find a quality woman.

[pidgeon1010]

Total turn off not because you are a dealership owner but because of everything else you've typed. I never knew being a business owner was a negative in dating circles. What sort of women are you dating? Yes there are women who place a lot of value in titles and even in the MD world itself, there is a pecking order too for some women depending on the MD's specialty. It is evident from your post you were looking for the easiest path to riches. You would not fare well in medical school or residency because your motivations are really about the title/prestige of it and not truly about helping others.

 

I have many guy friends/colleagues with professional titles who make way more than you and never witnessed the level of douchebaggery you've described in your post. Actually several of my friends are with girls they met in undergrad and those who are single are not out there trying to date 20-something year olds who are 9s or 10s because it's their professional right. There are some guys who do go after that but usually end up with gold diggers who plot their retirement plans and leave with a nice nest egg after the divorce.

 

You really need to reevaluate your thinking.

Edited June 19, 2016 by pidgeon1010

[Risktaker1]

The thing is here that may go against you for any woman looking for stability and a future, is that your career choices have been all over the shop, with dropping out and quitting and not actually sticking with anything.

Yes, you have landed on your feet and been successful, but there is no consistency here and for any educated woman that is a red flag.

 

Yes, you will attract the superficial and the gold diggers, but the kind of woman you want will be looking for depth and that is lacking here.

Becoming a doctor now will not give you the kudos you want with educated women as your track record is not that of the usual MD.

YOU will not be as accepted as you would want to be, because of all the ducking and diving that is in your past. You do not stick to anything for long and that is always going to be a worry for any woman looking for a long term partner, with or without the "doctor" label.

I have heard of lots of reasons people want to be doctors but scoring with young 9s and 10s, (with a vague sense of wanting to help people) must be the worst reason ever...

 

Thanks for your response. iBanker at 22 with an MBA, did that for 4 yrs with a bulge bracket bank. A gig most kids would die for, and nearly impossible to get. I learned how Corp America works and how the avg and above American is really enslaved to their job with no exit strategy or change in place. Is it really wrong for a guy in his mid 20s to question the status quo? Is it wrong to take risks and change direction? Is it wrong for a young man to "man" up and roll the dice when he can as opposed to when he has a family? Maybe you, and along with everyone else wants that yes man. That "yes man" that did what he was told. He would make a great husband wouldn't he? Maybe! Maybe that's where I'm wrong.

 

I was all over the place. Infact I recently wanted to start up an urgent care clinic, and employ a dr rather than be one. How terrible is it to be all over the shop as you say? Isn't that what American capitalism was built on? Did I drop out of hs? College? I dropped out of law school. Honestly lawyers don't do so well. They have to raise a family off of one income while paying down debt in a 80k a yr salary. Very few, very few, are killing it at over 150k. To me it didn't make sense to go thru the Sturges when I could simply hire an attorney. I made an educated choice, with regrets.I hate quitting but it felt right.

 

I have regrets about medical school. It was a business decision. Getting in was half the battle, so again I have regrets. So how is consistency being questioned again? Most people on here probably had bouts with graduating college and getting an actual job. When I say actual, I mean 5 rounds of interviews, while being cross examined by 2 at a time with exams dinners and 300 other top grads vying for the same gig. Tell me how helping your family out, and paying off a mortgage, putting your parents into an easy life style, funding college for a sibling doesn't spell consistency. Oh wait, maybe you also belong to the heards of women that are self indulged and care about your self. Most adults over 30 have a hard time maintaining their finl picture, I did it at 22 with ease. I juse hopen i have kid's that dId what i did for my family. I don't blame you for juding, maybe you aren't used to guys taking on that much responsibility before 30. Laughable at how you think that's a Red flag, I really hope this changes your outlook if anything. So i guses there is significant evidence to cinclude that unless the avg girl can relate to the guys job, then he has no chance.This post was about how women are comfortable with relatable job titles, than the non conventional ones.

 

And you have got to be kidding me about getting kudos for not being a traditional student lol. Men and women are different at 30 from each other. I've seen single mothers at 40 go to med school, all the way to a 50 yr old father. It's the drive, the passion, and the need to survive that drives someone.

 

Just like dating! You obviously don't make it easy on the guy. Make him work for it to fish him or her out. The premise of this was to find out why women value the title, why do they place importance on the conventional titles? Is it because they don't know any better? My friends a sales consultant. Does very well, tall, I'd give this dude a ten, but the biggest issue is that women can't relate to his profession. He gives speeches, is hired by companies, etc...but some women don't get him professionally. So we talk about this and this is where it led me.

 

I don't need an MD to get a date. Infact, I don't use any of the mobile apps or online dating. I'm old fashioned, I'd rather walk up to a girl and say hi. It's worked alot, and not. But I'm just not getting the type that can keep up with me for marriage puposes. I'm dating with a purpose, to get married, but I really think this title has put a bad taste in my mouth.

 

Btw, tell me where I said I wanted to be an MD to score with 9s and 10s. I go for those now. And i can tell most aRe superficial. I'm saying I wouldn't want to be approached or valued by them simply because I'm an MD. I've got a good grasp of the types of women that have valued me, for ME now. I have a pretty good idea of who the superficial ones are. I'm not like the naive traditional students, I know how the world works ; ) but thanks for your insights.

[Risktaker1]

Total turn off not because you are a dealership owner but because of everything else you've typed. I never knew being a business owner was a negative in dating circles. What sort of women are you dating? Yes there are women who place a lot of value in titles and even in the MD world itself, there is a pecking order too for some women depending on the MD's specialty. It is evident from your post you were looking for the easiest path to riches. You would not fare well in medical school or residency because your motivations are really about the title/prestige of it and not truly about helping others.

 

I have many guy friends/colleagues with professional titles who make way more than you and never witnessed the level of douchebaggery you've described in your post. Actually several of my friends are with girls they met in undergrad and those who are single are not out there trying to date 20-something year olds who are 9s or 10s because it's their professional right. There are some guys who do go after that but usually end up with gold diggers who plot their retirement plans and leave with a nice nest egg after the divorce.

 

You really need to reevaluate your thinking.

 

Being a business owner can be a negative. It's very general. There are hundreds of fashionistas, and makeup artists, bUT only a few have their lineup and products endosed by MAC. So if I said that I own my own business, what does that really mean? I don't want to get that granular over a first date. I just want to see if she has a good heart.

 

I'm sure your friends make more than me, and kudos to them. I'm happy with what I have and what I've done for my family. But as a guy, that's 32, I'm naturally predisposed to someone that might be a few years younger. How on earth is that being a DB? My dad was 7 yrs older. Plenty of men marry younger. I think a healthy age for my partner would be 24 to 30 tops. Unless she was doing her residency or something where she didn't have time for a relationship. I've personally seen that women some women over 30 are just jaded. They lack that refreshing personality compared to someone in their mid to late 20s. I've ran into girls going thru therapy from their last break up because the guy was a slacker, or women that were divorced, there's always something with women my age. Trust me I've given them a shot. I'm not as closed minded as you think.

 

You're right there is a pecking order in the MD world. I wanted to go into neuro, to help out those with auto immune disorders as they get written off very easily since there is no cure, just treatments. If I wanted to make the cash I'd go into radiology or surgery. I will eventually go to med school since this dating thing never led to marriage. But I'll just be very cognizant of the women with that territory. As sad as this is I probably won't want to get married after med school simply because the propesects aren't accurately valuing me.

[elaine567]

I've personally seen that women some women over 30 are just jaded. They lack that refreshing personality compared to someone in their mid to late 20s.

 

Ok, so your intention is to have a constant stream of happy clappy 20 somethings???

[tinkerbell16]

Being a business owner can be a negative. It's very general. There are hundreds of fashionistas, and makeup artists, bUT only a few have their lineup and products endosed by MAC. So if I said that I own my own business, what does that really mean? I don't want to get that granular over a first date. I just want to see if she has a good heart.

 

I'm sure your friends make more than me, and kudos to them. I'm happy with what I have and what I've done for my family. But as a guy, that's 32, I'm naturally predisposed to someone that might be a few years younger. How on earth is that being a DB? My dad was 7 yrs older. Plenty of men marry younger. I think a healthy age for my partner would be 24 to 30 tops. Unless she was doing her residency or something where she didn't have time for a relationship. I've personally seen that women some women over 30 are just jaded. They lack that refreshing personality compared to someone in their mid to late 20s. I've ran into girls going thru therapy from their last break up because the guy was a slacker, or women that were divorced, there's always something with women my age. Trust me I've given them a shot. I'm not as closed minded as you think.

 

You're right there is a pecking order in the MD world. I wanted to go into neuro, to help out those with auto immune disorders as they get written off very easily since there is no cure, just treatments. If I wanted to make the cash I'd go into radiology or surgery. I will eventually go to med school since this dating thing never led to marriage. But I'll just be very cognizant of the women with that territory. As sad as this is I probably won't want to get married after med school simply because the propesects aren't accurately valuing me.

 

You are clearly not jaded nor close minded

[tinkerbell16]

Being a business owner can be a negative. It's very general. There are hundreds of fashionistas, and makeup artists, bUT only a few have their lineup and products endosed by MAC. So if I said that I own my own business, what does that really mean? I don't want to get that granular over a first date. I just want to see if she has a good heart.

 

I'm sure your friends make more than me, and kudos to them. I'm happy with what I have and what I've done for my family. But as a guy, that's 32, I'm naturally predisposed to someone that might be a few years younger. How on earth is that being a DB? My dad was 7 yrs older. Plenty of men marry younger. I think a healthy age for my partner would be 24 to 30 tops. Unless she was doing her residency or something where she didn't have time for a relationship. I've personally seen that women some women over 30 are just jaded. They lack that refreshing personality compared to someone in their mid to late 20s. I've ran into girls going thru therapy from their last break up because the guy was a slacker, or women that were divorced, there's always something with women my age. Trust me I've given them a shot. I'm not as closed minded as you think.

 

You're right there is a pecking order in the MD world. I wanted to go into neuro, to help out those with auto immune disorders as they get written off very easily since there is no cure, just treatments. If I wanted to make the cash I'd go into radiology or surgery. I will eventually go to med school since this dating thing never led to marriage. But I'll just be very cognizant of the women with that territory. As sad as this is I probably won't want to get married after med school simply because the propesects aren't accurately valuing me.

 

Risktaker, When you are less defensive go back and read this post in particular. You admittedly have a ton of regret for several things not accomplished in your life. This has nothing to do with dating but it WILL affect dating in that you are projecting your regret in very defensive ways. Regret is like a cancer (and yes, I do see the irony of using a medical term). It will eat away at you until you either reconcile within yourself the choices you have made or make changes to undue the regret (hence becoming an MD). I agree you have made some pretty amazing things happen in your life and you should be proud and helping your family out is very commendable. Any arm chair psychiatrist can see you are your worst enemy though. Your energy is one of regret and dispite what you touted about women your age being jaded, you are also quite jaded. Its pretty impossible to get to your 30s and 40s and not get a little jaded (hence my disdain for dating doctors). Its human. Its how you deal with the jaded parts that matter. You are seaking something can only come from within... and not from a 20-30 year old 9/10. Self acceptance.

[clia]

Being a business owner can be a negative. It's very general. There are hundreds of fashionistas, and makeup artists, bUT only a few have their lineup and products endosed by MAC. So if I said that I own my own business, what does that really mean? I don't want to get that granular over a first date. I just want to see if she has a good heart.

 

So is the problem that if you tell a woman you are a business owner, you are worried she won't know immediately how rich and successful you are, whereas if you say you are a doctor, she will know?

 

I'm honestly confused about the problem here. If you just want to meet a woman with a good heart, none of this should matter. Your reasons for wanting to be a doctor just seem really superficial.

[pidgeon1010]

Being a business owner can be a negative. It's very general. There are hundreds of fashionistas, and makeup artists, bUT only a few have their lineup and products endosed by MAC. So if I said that I own my own business, what does that really mean? I don't want to get that granular over a first date. I just want to see if she has a good heart.

 

I'm sure your friends make more than me, and kudos to them. I'm happy with what I have and what I've done for my family. But as a guy, that's 32, I'm naturally predisposed to someone that might be a few years younger. How on earth is that being a DB? My dad was 7 yrs older. Plenty of men marry younger. I think a healthy age for my partner would be 24 to 30 tops. Unless she was doing her residency or something where she didn't have time for a relationship. I've personally seen that women some women over 30 are just jaded. They lack that refreshing personality compared to someone in their mid to late 20s. I've ran into girls going thru therapy from their last break up because the guy was a slacker, or women that were divorced, there's always something with women my age. Trust me I've given them a shot. I'm not as closed minded as you think.

 

You're right there is a pecking order in the MD world. I wanted to go into neuro, to help out those with auto immune disorders as they get written off very easily since there is no cure, just treatments. If I wanted to make the cash I'd go into radiology or surgery. I will eventually go to med school since this dating thing never led to marriage. But I'll just be very cognizant of the women with that territory. As sad as this is I probably won't want to get married after med school simply because the propesects aren't accurately valuing me.

 

I mention friends who make more than you not to solicit kudos for them lol (silly really) but to point out to you that you are placing way too much emphasis on money/title and how that somehow gives a person the right/access to a certain type of woman. If a girl is put off because you're a business owner, then that's a good way to weed out vapid girls. Isn't that a good thing? Why would you even post this question if you didn't think that somehow you're not getting the type you want to attract (whom you believe MDs easily attract merely because of their title)? More often than not, guys or girls looking for something substantive lead with the basics on the first date. I can't tell you the number of times I've had guys, after finding out more about what I do for a living, ask me for legal advice or pitch their business ideas or businesses when they realize I could potentially connect them with venture capitalists, angel investors or PE firms. That's the point of dating- to find someone who is a good fit and is truly interested in you.

 

No where in my post did I say men should not date younger women. In your initial post, you were bemoaning your dating prospects because you don't have a certain "title." My point is if you're narrowing your dating pool to some age group and what you consider to be high-rated looks because you've achieved some level of success and believe that it should come with a certain type of woman, then your dating prospects for substantive woman would be very limited. It's your prerogative to date whatever age group you desire.