Natalie9308 Posted June 19, 2016 Posted June 19, 2016 Me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 years and 2 months. He started working a couple months ago and he only gets one day off since its summer time..memorial weekend we were supposed to go on a break but instead he asked me to go to the lake with him and so I did. We had a really good time. The day after we got back from the lake he texted me and said everything between us is good(we've been having problems that's why we were gonna go on a break). Last week when I was at his house we were laying down and he tapped me and said everything is good with us...and so Tuesday night I texted him asking if we were still hanging out so I could know what time to go over there. He texted back saying "I've got a dentist appointment" and so I asked him what time he said he didn't know and was like how do you not know and at this point I was getting frustrated. He needed up saying "2:00" and I said we can just hangout afterwards he then said "I don't want you to waste your gas" and I was like why? Do you not want to hangout anymore, do you want to hangout with your friends instead? And he said I guess and I was like its a yes or no and so he said yes...and since he picked his friends over me I got mad and I kept going on and on and on about things and etc.. The next morning(Wednesday) I woke up and texted him have a good day and I'm sorry about last night. Have fun with your friends. He read it and ignored it. I go on instgram and I noticed that he took my name out of his bio, and so I text him and ask Jim why is my name out..he kept ignoring me and so I kept asking why? He texted me back saying "we need time apart"...and so I got mad and wasn't undestanding because Monday when he was asking me to come over he was really haply about it and stuff so I was like why you said we were good..like what's wrong now He kept ignoring me and I kept going on and on and on with asking why. He texted back saying "I just do" and I kept asking why over and over again cause he kept ignoring me. After awhile of that he texted back saying "I don't feel the same anymore" and I started freaking out asking why over and over again and sending him pictures and videos of us and etc. He just kept saying the same thing. Later in the day I texted him saying "I respect your decision for time apart and so I will honor it"..he read it and ignored it A few hours later I texted saying thank you for being the love of my life and how appreciated I am for him to be the one I've got to spend these past two years with etc.. He texted back "I'll always love you, I'm not trying to hurt you, but I'm doing what's good for me" I asked him why is leaving me good for him and he said " I just don't feel the same" and I asked why..he said "idk"...he texted saying I don't want you to hate me and we can be really good friends... I ignored him and a few hours later texted saying how I would never hate him and etc.. We've gone three days without talking.... Lastnight while he was at work(I know his schedule)I posted a picture of me with my long hair and captioned it "why did I cut my hair it was so long" and in the picture I'm wearing the necklace he had gotten me... I was on my phone and next thing you know I see that he's liked my picture and I realized he just got home from work...tbh it made me really happy and got me thinking that its a good sign he did like it... In his twitter bio I wanted to see if he had changed it and he hasn't it still says I'm the love of his life and I don't understand because he is always on twitter so why not change it? Every time I post something on Snapchat he is always the first one to look at it, and before all this he never looked at it only sometimes. My mom and friends are saying he's doing this to teach me a lesson a out nagging to him about not texting me all the time...because ever since he's gotten his job he barely texts me anymore...so when I texted him he'd only read it and ignore it...and so I'd get mad and get on him about it. I know he is going through something with his family and I now know why he wanted to hangout with his friends instead of me..its because one if his best friends are moving to Florida and his other bestfriend is going with him to help. While going through this "break up" I've realized that I was always getting on him about texting me and stuff..I was suffocating him and it pushed him away.... So what should I do to get him back? I haven't contacted him or anything and apparently he's the one lurking at my stuff..everybody is saying he's gonna start missing me or already has..so how can I get the love of my life back?
MsJayne Posted June 19, 2016 Posted June 19, 2016 Hmm, yeah, the nagging......not cool. Frequently texting or calling someone while they're at work is also not cool. By continuing to bug him when he's made it very clear that your behaviour is getting on his nerves makes me think you don't have a lot of respect for his personal space and you're going to keep pushing until he doesn't even want to be friends with you. It sounds like you're even being a bit stalker-ish and he's being kind and tolerant when he must feel quite angry. Being rejected is one of life's horrible lessons but how you handle it can make a lot of difference to the pain factor. You can either be arrogant and overbearing and refuse to accept the other persons decision, or you can act with dignity and respect their wishes. If you take the second option there is a chance that you may win back the affection of person you care so much about, if you take the first you will drive them out of your life for good. If you want to keep him in your life with the view of getting a second chance, stop haunting him. 1
Trinity7 Posted June 19, 2016 Posted June 19, 2016 First off, I'm sorry you're here . I know that awful feeling of panic when they start pulling away, but you're definitely doing the right thing in not contacting him the last few days. I would stick with that. If it really is just him needing space or feeling suffocated, giving him that space is best. Anything else will annoy him further and drive him away. Sometimes they need to see what life is like without us to remind them to appreciate us. I have a feeling there may be more to the story though.. This is odd behavior 2 years in.. It sounds more like early days stuff. But I don't want to plant insecurities in your head, so hopefully it'll just blow over once he gets the space he's craving. It'll reassure him that you're capable of giving it. If you do get back together, maybe try to keep it up to an extent. Hang in there and write your messages that you want to send him here instead.. Or text them to yourself, that's what I do. I just pretend I'm texting him.. lol.. It curbs the urge. Keep us posted! x
Author Natalie9308 Posted June 19, 2016 Author Posted June 19, 2016 I haven't been the one lurking on his stuff..he is the one whose been on mine..like I've posted like 5 pics since this situation has started and he's the one who has been liking them and every time I post a story on snaochat and I go to see who has seen it he's always the very first one to have seen it..and the day we "broke up" I told him about how I respect his decision for time apart and so I will honor it....I haven't made no contact with him at all he is the one doing the contacting. Yesterday I did go on his twitter page to see if he had changed his bio to something else besides me and he still hasn't...
Natalie92 Posted June 19, 2016 Posted June 19, 2016 As hard as it is, you may have to let go. I'm in h same position. Someone to,d me that it is harder to hold on sometimes. You need to do what's best for you and let him go. If it's meant to be it will be but you can't force it. I know it sucks, like I say I'm in the same position, my ex still tells me he loves me and misses me but by texting him I was giving him the best of both worlds by not being with me but still knowing that I would contact him. I stopped the other day, hardest thing ever but I'm learning to let go. Hoping one day he will realise his mistake!
Author Natalie9308 Posted June 19, 2016 Author Posted June 19, 2016 I haven't contacted him at all...he keeps liking my Instagram posts and every time I post something on my Snapchat he is the very first person to see it...why is he doing that stuff for and keeping me in his twitter bio....like he is the one who broke up with me and I'm not complaining. To be honest him liking and seeing my stuff and etc makes me think he is missing me...we've been together for 2 years...I just want to know what his intentions are since he keeps doing that kind of stuff...we haven't talked to each other for four days now. He is the one who is having contact with me. Were 17 and 18(our birthdays are a day apart..his is sep. 7th and mine is sep. 8th)
ExpatInItaly Posted June 19, 2016 Posted June 19, 2016 He probably wants to keep you around as a back-up. Or, he is easing his guilt because he knows you're hurt. Don't over-analyze his social media behaviour. Unless and until he comes back and tells you he wants to reconcile and be a couple again, ignore it. In any case, you are both so very young. This is good news, because you have your whole adult life ahead of you. Most of us here are not with the same people today who we dated as teenagers. And that's okay. You are going to meet plenty of other interesting guys too. These young loves generally don't last, which isn't a bad thing. I know it hurts a lot now, but you will go on to love other people too. 1
SincereOnlineGuy Posted June 19, 2016 Posted June 19, 2016 Wow, I wish I could guide exactly the OP's actions from this point forward... because I think it is a very good sign that the boyfriend is still (taking obvious interest in the little things like online pictures). BUT, I am fearful that the OP will (simply not have the best timing and instincts for just being herself (and going about her life) instead of reacting too much/quickly to any of his attention and thus reducing her chances of getting him back) At 17/18 the other person really does seem like the world and so many of these feelings are so normal when it feels like the world is changing. For the time being, I think the OP should do everything in her power to resist outwardly contacting the boyfriend, and that exercise will be good practice for the chance that they never get back together as well. There remains a reasonable chance, too, that time spent apart will bring the guy back around... but less so if you smother him with attention and/or react visibly to every tiny ounce of interest he takes in online photos or the like. I wish you luck.
Iamlostin Posted June 19, 2016 Posted June 19, 2016 Hello! I want to congratulate you first on making NO contact what's so ever. That is key! Secondly the fact that you understand what was a strong reasoning for possibly pushing him away is also great. It has almost been a month since my boyfriend and I of two years broke up. Though we are not together anymore please take this advice because it helped me realize and I was way too late. Continue excatly what you're doing my ex said and did the SAME exact things. I think what pushed him away is what pushed my ex away and that was the less attention and less communication between us, therefore I would nag and nag. The breakup is still fresh and is in the VERY early stages. You need to give him space, and do not bother him, as much as it hurts space will give him the time to think through your current situation. It's funny because my ex would look at my stuff too, but didn't want to be friends nothing to do with me and such. That part to me is a little "iffy" and it could mean two things: he still wants to check up on you, or he truely misses you. You are solely responsible for your part in the relationship and leaving him alone is excatly what needs to be done. Take this time to analyze on how you contributed and what you can work on. Allow yourself to breathe, think, and do what's right for you. The way I look at it is, if you come back together it was meant to be, if not it was just a really great time that you have learned from. 1
Author Natalie9308 Posted June 20, 2016 Author Posted June 20, 2016 (edited) It's been 5 days since me and him talked and I've been praying that things will work out between us..before this situation happened I was noticing how moody he was with everyone, like his sister, mom his friends, etc...my cousin thinks I should contact him in either a week or in two weeks. I've been reading about the no contact rule that's 30 days..and it gives me hope that it will work but then again I read something that was phycology about why you think you need to do the no contact with your ex...it said it could make things worse and that you should tell your ex how you feel, and that makes me think that I should contact him in a week or two but then again I have this fear not to..I'm gonna stick with not contacting him for 21-30 days and just give it time...but its so confusing onto why he's liking stuff of mine on social media and its old pictures of me that he likes, not the new ones I've been taking since we've been "broken up". Deep down in side I know how people say you only think you're meant to be with who you've been in a relationship for a while with since you're in love, but I've been really thinking about everything and I truly believe everything will work out because of how we are together... We motivate eachother, we have a lot of things in common like a lot, we challenge each other, we laugh together at things that no one else does, and every time I look at him I feel in my gut how we're meant to be together. Freshmen year before we even knew eachother or even talked to one another, when I first saw him I fell in love...it was love at first sight and we ended up having a class together and with my luck I thought I'd never be able to get to talk to him and be friends with him, but that day the teacher put us right next to eachother and he introduced himself and everyday I would feel him just looking at me and so I'd look and he'd smile at me..he told me he seen me in the halls and at lunch and how he's always wanted to talk to me but was always scared to..when we became friends it turned out we had one of the same friends who we've both known for 9 years and our mutual friend would tell me how he talked about me and stuff to him saying how he would love to get to know me and stuff but didn't have the nerve to until we officially met in class. Our mutual friend told me me he didn't tell my ex that he knew me because he wanted to see how things would turn out between us and so he would ramble.on about me to him because he knew if he told my ex he knew me he'd stop cause he'd think he'd tell me..but like I said freshmen year is when I fell in love at first sight and by all of the things he's told me(my ex) and what our mutual friend had told me I really am sure he fell in love at first sight too. So I wish we will work things out and get to graduate this year together and start our lives that he would bring up to me and how we were gonna be so happy...so Yea thank you for all y'alls opinions Edited June 20, 2016 by Natalie9308
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