Why would someone who wants to be with u not want to attend a friends party with you?

[sin miedo]

This is so disappointing. Why aren't there any normal men out there?

 

I'm not even asking for perfect, just NORMAL.

 

There are - a lot of us are taken, though.

 

But really, I have no idea why you're wasting another second of your time with this dude. From a man's perspective it sounds like he's so desperate that once you let on that you liked him, he immediately attached. Red flags abound.

[BlueIris]

... So I'm not sure how I would avoid men like this in the future because so far I honestly didn't notice any red flags. It's also why I was literally dumbfounded and gob-smacked when he reacted this way. Like.... this is literally the last thing I would have expected from him.

 

What did I miss??

 

Some of the clues can be:

~ they move fast, get attached quickly

~ think or claim they know how you think or feel (impossible)

~ deciding things for you

~ stereotype and generalize

~ dismiss what you say, ignore your opinions or wishes (that guy did that)

 

Maybe read Patricia Evans's Controlling People. She talks about their thinking of others as being like children with Teddy Bears, objects to comfort them and do what they want. They're upset when you have your own thoughts, feelings, likes/dislikes. Teddy obeys.

[Hopeful30]

There are - a lot of us are taken, though.

 

But really, I have no idea why you're wasting another second of your time with this dude. From a man's perspective it sounds like he's so desperate that once you let on that you liked him, he immediately attached. Red flags abound.

 

Well not anymore. I'm single again. This really sucks lol I was looking forward to actually having sex again! It's been years

[Imajerk17]

I have to be blunt here Hopeful30...from your threads on here I'm just not seeing how you are a good judge of character. I mean, WE all saw the signs that this guy was bad news and we never even met him in person! We could see this going from only maybe a post or two of yours.

 

Not trying to be mean, I am trying to point out that you are not a victim. The signs were there from the very beginning and you ignored them.

 

Going forward it is all about respect of boundaries, including respecting your comfort level w PDAs. Which this guy did not do, and which we were all pointing out.

Edited July 9, 2016 by Imajerk17

[BlueIris]

I have to be blunt here Hopeful30...from your threads on here I'm just not seeing how you are a good judge of character. I mean, WE all saw the signs that this guy was bad news and we never even met him in person! We could see this going from only maybe a post or two of yours.

 

Not trying to be mean, I am trying to point out that you are not a victim. The signs were there from the very beginning and you ignored them.

 

Going forward it is all about respect of boundaries, including respecting your comfort level w PDAs. Which this guy did not do.

 

Not a victim- a student! Live and learn.

 

If you've lived your life around good people with integrity, there's no way you'd even know that this type exists. They prey on good people because the people who do know their type stay far far away.

[kendahke]

This is so disappointing. Why aren't there any normal men out there?

 

I'm not even asking for perfect, just NORMAL.

 

so, those 'love pins' are starting to hurt now...

[Hopeful30]

so, those 'love pins' are starting to hurt now...

 

I don't regret the experience. I'm just disappointed again. I feel foolish for allowing myself to believe that maybe this time something nice could develop. It's why I let myself overlook some things. I want a man in my life, and being true to yourself and keeping your standards to par usually means you will be single for a very, very long time. I've been single for years now, and I'm ready for something real.

 

*Sigh*

 

At least I learned a few things too. No experience goes wasted