How do I make third break-up stick? Is breakup because of no sex wrong?

[Joseph z]

Broke up with my girl today because of no sex. We've been going together for almost 2 years. This is the third time we've broken up and I want to try to make this one stick. It may seem shallow, but we broke up the last two times because of no sex. I tried really hard to go along with it but it was just too much in the end. She wanted to have sex bad and every time I would go to her house she would pretty much jump me right away. We would get all hot and heavy and right at the last second she would be like "Stop!". She felt really guilty about sex because of religious reasons and if we did do it she would cry afterwards sometimes. I would feel bad if we did it and she cried or I would feel resentment if we got all fired up only to stop. Either was I always wind up feeling like crap at the end of the night. Has anyone else had a similar experience? Is it wrong for me to break up with her about this? How do I stop myself from getting back together with her? Every other time we broke up I would start thinking I wasn't going to be able to get a girl as good as her. She is really hot and independent and I never had that much luck with girls like that before. Any comments would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

[bummer]

I assume you two have talked creatively about other physical ways to express intimacy? You want it but she keeps stopping? She wants it and keeps stopping? Why not have a relationship based on compatibility and personality and wait?

 

If she's so super duper you would wait. If you're just horny, continue with your third dumping.

[CarrieT]

How old are you two?

[Joseph z]

I have been trying really hard to respect her wishes and have a relationship based on compatibility and personality and wait. I don't want to make her feel bad. It's just really hard when she throws it at me and then shuts me down. It's like an emotional roller coaster. The first few times I handled it ok but after like 30 times its wearing me down and I find myself getting angry when usually I'm really in control of myself. It sucks because she's everything I thought I wanted in a girlfriend. She goes to school, has her own house, and is super positive. I think it's too late though I broke it off pretty hard today

[CarrieT]

Okay, I went and looked at some of your old posts... You are in your late 20s so I can understand that not having sex after two years would be a BIG issue.

 

You thought she was everything you wanted, but obviously not being intimate is a huge issue.

 

The best thing you can do is go No Contact and stay No Contact. The longer you two are away from each other the easier it will be for you to heal and move forward.

[Joseph z]

I'm 27 and she's 21. She really has been teasing me so bad... Last night she wore this super short skirt and showed me her that she had a thong on. I didn't take the bait because I knew what was gonna happen. I took her out bowlin and played air hockey and we had a few beers. Then on the way home she grabs my hand and puts it on her breasts. We fool around hard in the car and when we get home she waits until we're both totally naked to shut the whole thing down. I try not to freak out but I'm so excited that I kinda lose it. I don't like being like that you know?

[CarrieT]

I'm 27 and she's 21.

Yeah, time to date someone a little more mature.

[Joseph z]

Thanks for your comments. I'm going to try to stay no contact and just focus on working, doing my schoolwork, and spend some time at the gym.

[ExpatInItaly]

I'm 27 and she's 21. She really has been teasing me so bad... Last night she wore this super short skirt and showed me her that she had a thong on. I didn't take the bait because I knew what was gonna happen. I took her out bowlin and played air hockey and we had a few beers. Then on the way home she grabs my hand and puts it on her breasts. We fool around hard in the car and when we get home she waits until we're both totally naked to shut the whole thing down. I try not to freak out but I'm so excited that I kinda lose it. I don't like being like that you know?

 

In what way?

 

Anyway, I don't think you're a match. You've broken up three times and you're not sexually compatible.

 

Time to move on so you can both find someone who shares the other's views on sex.

[Joseph z]

I just got mad and started saying stuff I didn't mean. I think it's time to move on too. I'm going to try going no contact with her this time. It's going to be tough but every article I'm finding online says it's the best way to do it.

[Satu]

I just got mad and started saying stuff I didn't mean. I think it's time to move on too. I'm going to try going no contact with her this time. It's going to be tough but every article I'm finding online says it's the best way to do it.

 

As Expat said, you're just not a match.

 

If you want the split to be permeant, take these steps:

 

 

*No direct contact.

*No sending or receiving of messages.

*Block any means she might use to contact you.

*No replies to anything that gets through your blocks.

*No indirect contact through third parties.

*De-friend or delete from all social media.

*No monitoring of her on social media.

*No 'little birds' feeding you news.

*Tell people that you don't want to know anything about what she is doing or saying.

 

 

Take care.

[Joseph z]

I can't shake this feeling that I'm never going to get another girl and if I do she won't be as good of a catch as my ex was. What do I do to get past that?

[Satu]

I can't shake this feeling that I'm never going to get another girl and if I do she won't be as good of a catch as my ex was. What do I do to get past that?

 

Its very common to think that in the early stages of a breakup, but it doesn't reflect reality.

 

With 3+ billion females on the planet, you'll have no trouble finding a new girlfriend.

[sooshi]

Don't compare another girl to this one.

[Joseph z]

Ok

Thanks for your input guys. Its been very helpful

[whatnot]

I can't shake this feeling that I'm never going to get another girl and if I do she won't be as good of a catch as my ex was. What do I do to get past that?

 

This doesn't happen in an afternoon. You're probably gonna live another 40 to 50 years.

Edited June 18, 2016 by whatnot

[Joseph z]

If anyone else has any advice or similar experience don't be shy to lay it on me lol.

[LD1990]

Stick with your plan of going no contact. If she wants to live in the 18th century (albeit some twisted version of the 18th century where she wears thongs and short skirts to tease you but then stills sticks with abstinence), let her. Don't waste your 20s on this chick, trust me. You'll end up kicking yourself later.

[basil67]

Perfectly good reason to end a relationship - don't second guess yourself.

 

And you will meet more great women yet.

[PennyP]

Since you have been with your GF for 2 years it seems that you really care about her. It seems there maybe something she feels uncomfortable sharing with you. You may want to go to couple's couseling to help get to the bottom of things. If going to counseling is not an option you may want to leave the relationship. If there is an unresolved issue with sex it may go on throughout the relationship it is probably best to cut your ties now.

Edited June 19, 2016 by PennyP

[Joseph z]

So quick update:

I have been doing good with the NC. However, I found one of her wallets in my car today. It has cards in it and a bunch of cash. What do I do. I gotta return it to her but don't want to break the NC.