vanhalenfan Posted June 18, 2016 Share Posted June 18, 2016 (edited) So....This may mean nothing but I thought I'd just throw this out here. My fiance needed help with something on his phone. As I was trying to figure it out, a text popped up from a female friend. They used to hang out a lot with some other friends years ago. They still text from time to time, but rarely see each other. Haven't in over a year (that is, until tonight, which I will get to in a moment). Anyway, the text was asking him if he was coming to a meeting tonight (they are in a type of motorcycle club with a bunch of other friends, but he hasn't attended in over a year). Well, for some reason it piqued my interest and later on I checked back on his phone to see where the conversation went...no particular reason, I'm not sure why I even did that. Anyway, it was a short friendly conversation where he said he might come, he wasn't feeling well but he'll see. Then he said something weird..."Plus I miss you." (just talking about if he should attend or not, giving reasons I guess.) He was pretty close to her I guess. They used to go on retreats with this other older women (in her 60's) and some other guy from the club. Close-knit group. This was before we met 4 years ago. So I guess I can see why he'd miss her, in a friendly way.... I also checked out some past texts all the way up until a year ago and didn't see anything other than friendly material. They seem to have a short text conversation once per month..."How are you? How's things going? How is the baby?" (We have a 18 month old daughter together)..."Merry Christmas, Happy New Year"...All that jazz. And a few times her just asking him if he was going to the meetings or not here and there. I don't believe there was ever anything between them. I am sure of that. I guess it was just weird for me to read the words "I miss you" from him to another female. Didn't leave a good taste in my mouth - but taking it all into perspective I guess it's not so bad...What do you think? He did go to the meeting by the way....He is there now as I type this. I'm not going to lie, but my stomach is churning a bit and I didn't want him to go. I don't know why as I didn't really reveal anything. I can tend to be on the jealous side though. I am working on it. So my intuition goes out the window for the most part! That's why I am running it by you guys on LS Edited June 18, 2016 by vanhalenfan Link to post Share on other sites
VeveCakes Posted June 18, 2016 Share Posted June 18, 2016 I would check in a few days or a week and see if the conversation has continued or gotten any more friendly. Link to post Share on other sites
Author vanhalenfan Posted June 18, 2016 Author Share Posted June 18, 2016 Well he came back from the meeting on time. I pressed him a bit about this woman (not about the texting/I miss you thing...not even going to tell him I saw that - but more about who she is and what not) He actually called her 'weird', but a nice girl to just be friends with. I asked him if she was the girl who was sleeping with a mutual friend of ours (a nice guy too, but strange as well). He said she is that woman. Supposedly she tried to pin a pregnancy on this guy a year or two ago. He (my fiance) didn't get involved in the nonsense at the time. He's not one to get involved in nonsense like that...steers clear....but then I wonder why he considers her a good friend or someone he wants to be be around. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted June 18, 2016 Share Posted June 18, 2016 You ain't got a leg to stand on here. He has done nothing wrong, You on the other hand are invading his privacy by continually snooping through his messages...you definitely have trust issues...you need to work on that before he figures out what you have been up to. If he likes her, he likes her....a guy can like a female in a platonic manner. Link to post Share on other sites
Timshel Posted June 18, 2016 Share Posted June 18, 2016 I agree with you smackie9, it is possible to be in a relationship, have opposite sex friends and maintain boundaries. IF both are mature and everyone is on the same page. That's the tricky part. It makes me laugh a little though...I have yet to be with a guy who is ok with me having dude friends unless they are friends with him too and even then..... Why is it ok for guys to do it but if the woman says it works both ways....she's insecure and jealous. PHFFFFT Link to post Share on other sites
acrosstheuniverse Posted June 21, 2016 Share Posted June 21, 2016 It's not a big deal at all. I have completely platonic male friends and I'd tell them I missed them just as I do my female friends On my open facebook page the other day a long term male best friend of fourteen years posted something really cynical and sarcastic on a link and I said 'see, that's why I love you, your optimistic nature!' it means nothing. You miss and love friends. Not a leg to stand on, short of further evidence. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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