mammax3 Posted June 16, 2016 Posted June 16, 2016 Wow. There is SO MUCH knowledge in here. And I love everyone's unbiased(ish) perspectives. It makes me want to share and hear your thoughts on a few points. I used to come here when I was struggling with my marriage ending, and then a few years later when I thought I was in a relationship with a wounded and emotionally unavailable man. I'm in a healthier place (FWIW) than I ever have been and am trying to enter this unexpected dating situation I am currently in with a clear open heart and head. I don't have much experience with men or dating or relationships (the majority was from high school before I met my ex-H) so I'd just like to check in with y'all. 1. Do men really know within 6 weeks what sort of relationship they want with a woman? 2. How might a woman "see" how a man looks at her, his body language, and how he converses with you to determine what he really thinks of her? 3. What might prevent a man (who has had way more partners than a woman) from progressing past kissing? 4. If, in a brief and chill convo, expectations of our situation came up and he said something along the lines of he's not looking for 'the next one' but looking for 'The One' - can a woman assume that she is (or is not) The One? All the words spoken between us (after almost 2 months) have been perfect. He says he really really likes me. And he doesn't know what the future might hold but he sees me there. He refers to meeting his friends. He says he's not hooking up with anyone, even though he could bc he has FWB RLs from his past he could call on. He has been very patient with me as I ease myself into the dating pool. He was appropriately tenacious in the getting-to-know-you period - no pressure, very open, clear. I don't want to welcome a man into my life and my children if he's just going to blow it. I know I need to figure out what I want from him, or a RL - this is all very new to me... I had decided to remain single for at least another 5 years while my kids are young. He has completely blindsided me and while I know love will take longer for me to say bc it has to be fully meant and unconditional(ish) I certainly feel very tender towards him and I really like being with him. Ok! Have at me. I'm very curious how he might appear vs what he might be saying - based on all your experiences. Thanks so much Mx
Jabron1 Posted June 16, 2016 Posted June 16, 2016 (edited) 1. Do men really know within 6 weeks what sort of relationship they want with a woman? 2. How might a woman "see" how a man looks at her, his body language, and how he converses with you to determine what he really thinks of her? 3. What might prevent a man (who has had way more partners than a woman) from progressing past kissing? 4. If, in a brief and chill convo, expectations of our situation came up and he said something along the lines of he's not looking for 'the next one' but looking for 'The One' - can a woman assume that she is (or is not) The One? 1. Yes. 2. Better for the women to answer than me, based on perspective. 3. Insecurity or lack of interest. 4. It's fairy land nonsense. I think he generally sounds a bit wishy-washy to be honest with you. Edited June 16, 2016 by Jabron1 1
Larryville Posted June 16, 2016 Posted June 16, 2016 All the words spoken between us (after almost 2 months) have been perfect. He says he really really likes me. 4. It's fairy land nonsense. I think he generally sounds a bit wishy-washy to be honest with you. I guess the quest to find something “real” or “true love” (turning into one of those folks who don’t believe in such a concept) folks continue to climb out on that ledge, (have been perfect) despite mountains of evidence (thousands of threads and millions of pieces of advice and stories in this vault) when dudes feeds you the obligatory BS lines to make you weak in the knees.
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