start8957 Posted June 16, 2016 Posted June 16, 2016 I've been dating someone for 5 months now. We had a really great date couple weeks ago and since then I noticed his effort to talk to me or see me has dropped drastically. Went from trying to see me and make plans several times a week to now one day a week. One day he will text back and forth for a while and the other it takes him hours to get back to me. It's just a rollercoaster. I have a feeling I was starting to take this relationship more seriously than him, and if I had an issue with something I would bring it up and try to talk it out. It was clear that he didn't want any drama. But he even had me meet his mom , and with the way things were going, I didn't expect this sudden change. I'm giving him his space. I don't initiate contact or seeing each other unless he does. I try to mirror him. In my opinion, if he wants to spend time with me, he will make the effort like before. I'm focusing on myself, my friends, my hobbies. I also noticed him being more active on social media when it comes to other girls, but since we're not official I am not going to bring it up. I know that I have no control over who he talks to/flirts with. But sometimes it gets really hard because I don't get it. If you don't want to date someone, just let them know. I don't understand this fading phase but still keeping in touch. I don't want to bring it up because what if this is just a normal stage for him. I have a feeling drama will just push him away more. I don't even know if I would be happy with him because there's certain things that I feel I'm missing from him. And every single time this happened before I had no problem getting in the mindset of letting go, and it was actually a relief. But this time around it just flat out sucks. It's like I'm blinded by all the good moments in this relationship, all his efforts that he used to make, that made me feel really special, to the point that he does not want me anymore. I know I need to get my head in the right mindset, and you guys are great at snapping me back to reality
Toodaloo Posted June 16, 2016 Posted June 16, 2016 Its dead. He just doesn't know how to kill it... Let it go. Sorry OP. Better luck with the next one. 3
Larryville Posted June 16, 2016 Posted June 16, 2016 I've been dating someone for 5 months now. We had a really great date couple weeks ago and since then I noticed his effort to talk to me or see me has dropped drastically. Went from trying to see me and make plans several times a week to now one day a week. One day he will text back and forth for a while and the other it takes him hours to get back to me. It's just a rollercoaster. I have a feeling I was starting to take this relationship more seriously than him, and if I had an issue with something I would bring it up and try to talk it out. It was clear that he didn't want any drama. But he even had me meet his mom , and with the way things were going, I didn't expect this sudden change. I don't get it. If you don't want to date someone, just let them know. I don't understand this fading phase but still keeping in touch. I discovered this trend or fairly new term “benching” Here is a recent article on it. Benching is, according to New York magazine’s Beta Male, very different to ghosting – when the person you’re dating (or worse – in a full-blown relationship with) disappears from your life so gradually that you don’t realise you’re single until someone spots them with a new partner. Benching: The dating trend that could ruin your love life OLD dating makes this so easy because people now keep someone around "as a back-up" until something else better comes along. Just another result of a disconnected human society. We are all now just commodities, we only stay with folks as long as they are useful. 2
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