whatever20 Posted June 16, 2016 Posted June 16, 2016 (edited) My relationship of 4 years ended, we go to grad school together and live in the same apt complex, I came to visit family for summer break and we broke up 2 weeks ago. I have not contacted him since the breakup but I will be going back to school in 3 days. He has my mail key and A LOT of clothes, printer, and books in his apartment. He also has my apartment key and I have his. I really don't want to contact him and will be avoiding him like the plague at school but my contact lenses are shipping to my mail and I need the mail key! I would ask the land lord to give me another but he will charge me $50. I don't want to contact him or see him because it will destroy all the progress I have already made and I don't want to be the "First" to contact. How do I go about this? I was thinking message him "need the mail key for my contact lenses" and thinking of going in his apartment when I know he won't be there, get all my stuff, leave his apartment key on the table, and peace out. or should I tell him "when can I come over to get my things and the mail key"? and meet him to get the things. I kinda wanna stand up for myself and show him that IDGAF. So which situation would send a loud and clear message that, hey narcissist, You aren't all that and I am not crying over you (Fake it till you make it, right?) Situation 1: He has no idea that I came back into town, he comes home and see's all my stuff is randomly gone and his apt key is on the table. Situation 2: I text him I need to get stuff, I go over there, cool, calm, looking hot and flawless, smiley, showing off my new yoga body, calmly get my things, give him his key, get my key. He will ask if we can stay friend, to which I say No I don't want you, see ya around school. Also any advice on how to go about seeing him in class. Seeing him hang out with other girls at school, and not react or feel bad about it. I just don't want a entire day of studying to be ruined because I saw him talking to some girl or if he starts dating someone and I am fixating on it all day. I already have it planned so that I can avoid seeing him as much but I will inevitably see him in school. This is such a bad situation because I just want no contact and never see him again and move on with my life but I will have to see him for the next 3 years, might even have to work on projects together. Edited June 16, 2016 by whatever20
PegNosePete Posted June 16, 2016 Posted June 16, 2016 I was thinking message him "need the mail key for my contact lenses" and thinking of going in his apartment when I know he won't be there, get all my stuff, leave his apartment key on the table, and peace out. or should I tell him "when can I come over to get my things and the mail key"? and meet him to get the things. The second option sounds much more mature and sensible, not to mention legal, to me. I kinda wanna stand up for myself and show him that IDGAF. So which situation would send a loud and clear message that, hey narcissist, You aren't all that and I am not crying over you (Fake it till you make it, right?) You're contradicting yourself here. If you DGAF then why are you even thinking about this? If you don't give 2 hoots what he thinks of you, then why do you need to show him anything or send him a message or show off your hot yoga body or whatever? Fake it til you make it, yes. But you're not faking the right thing. You should be faking indifference. You should turn up in sweat pants and no make up, because you don't give a monkey's uncle what he thinks about you any more. Deal with him in a business-like, emotionless manner. Just tell him you need your stuff and you have some of his stuff, if he can box yours up ready for you to collect then you can come round and collect it and you will bring his stuff for him too. No coming in for a cup of tea or a quick chat. no how are you doing, blah blah. Just exchange boxes through the open door, check he's given you the important things (make a list so you don't forget anything), and leave. Make sure he gives you EVERYTHING you need, so you don't have to come back another day. If he won't co-operate then you'll have to stump up the $50 for a new key, and write your other things off as lost. 2
basil67 Posted June 16, 2016 Posted June 16, 2016 How about a text saying "I have to get my stuff. Is it OK if I let myself in while you're out at X?" If you do have to see him, I second the idea of just being your regular self. If you are all smokin', it will be really clear to him that you're trying to make a point. But he needs to think that you really don't give a stuff what he thinks.
stillafool Posted June 16, 2016 Posted June 16, 2016 Frankly, I'd rather cough up the 50 bucks and not be bothered. If you really DGAF, pay the $50, get your lenses and move on. When at school map out routes to your classes that we allow you to avoid seeing him. I've done this and it worked well.
Recommended Posts