venus83 Posted June 16, 2016 Posted June 16, 2016 I have been having some feedback about sex lately and I wanted to share this and know your opinion... I am Brasilian and lives in Switzerland.... I dated a Brit for 2 months and he ended things because he said I was too intense or too "hungry" in bed...and he didn't like it, he like it smoother or whatever..... also he said he didn't had time for me...and I never asked him more time....and in 2 months we didn't properly had sex, because he couldn't feel confortable with me...and I even felt bad abt it... I also noticed that some guys I meet here are colder and I am really passionate when comes to sex and beeing together..... But I am afectionate, is not something like a Porn Movie...i guess I just have this Latin Blood or whatever people call it.... I like to touch, hold and be together! Last night I had a ONS with a "friend" and I felt he also felt I was like 'too much" in therms os intensity... kissing was ok though....but we were also really drunk.... Should I step back and go slowlier with guys here?
Toodaloo Posted June 16, 2016 Posted June 16, 2016 Yes. I have a high sex drive and have learnt the hard way that while men say it is what they want actually most struggle to keep up... They are not performing monkeys - just calm it down a bit. Let them make the moves sometimes. They are happier that way. 3
grays Posted June 16, 2016 Posted June 16, 2016 I don't know anything about Switzerland, but I do think whoever is able to handle you will consider himself lucky! I don't think you should change anything about yourself. These were just not the right guys for you. 3
ChocolateRain Posted June 16, 2016 Posted June 16, 2016 Generally i think you shouldn't change ...you are who you are However, i would suggest you find men who can keep up with your paste . 2
Author venus83 Posted June 16, 2016 Author Posted June 16, 2016 Thank you, looks like you know exactly what I am talking about. Maybe let things grow more naturally!
GemmaUK Posted June 16, 2016 Posted June 16, 2016 I've had this problem too since getting older. I don't have Latin blood but I am all in and need to experience and feel passion reciprocated during sex. I can honestly say that I was only sexually compatible with 3 men I have had relationships with - maybe because we were younger and both learning and using our imaginations (?), trying this and that out and sometimes ending in a heap, both giggling because something really didn't work for one or both of us! In later relationships I found men in their late 30's and 40's who have like a 'procedure' for sex and any deviation from that is a no go. The last relationship I had, things were not right at all. We were long distance so opportunities were rare. I would initiate as he never did but he seemed OK with that but when we got down to it all that happened was his own pleasure and when it came to me I was left totally high and dry. From the start I asked and took note of what he liked, remembered and acted upon it. One time, several months in I tried to guide and explain what I liked all in a positive way and he simply said 'it's too difficult'. Later, he told me that sex and sexual pleasure was not something that women needed. You could tone it down but don't tone it so much that you're not being yourself. 1
Toodaloo Posted June 16, 2016 Posted June 16, 2016 I am no angel but have not slept around but I can tell you that out of 30 odd men that I have slept with only one has been able to keep up. Two or three have tried gallantly. The rest just ran away, clutching their testicles screaming please God no more... Well not quite but near enough. Just back it off a bit. Be yourself but keep your poonani in your pants. I also saw your thread about "Dave". Perhaps he is put off by you sleeping around... Some guys just like to keep it simple and while there is absolutely nothing wrong with anyone having their fun if you want a serious relationship with someone who cares you can't really eat all the cakes in the shop... Have a think about what you want. Do you want the long term attention of one man or the short term attention of many? 1
JohnsonBaby Posted June 16, 2016 Posted June 16, 2016 Find someone with some passion. Hopefully you re not one of those clumsy all over the place performers. 1
stillafool Posted June 16, 2016 Posted June 16, 2016 I agree that you are probably with the wrong men. Maybe you need someone with hot latin blood like you. Probably the men you choose like a more submissive woman in the bedroom. 1
Emilia Posted June 16, 2016 Posted June 16, 2016 It's probably not the sex per se if it didn't get that far with the guy of 2 months. I'm guessing it's the bit that's leading up to it. What do you mean by the bolded part in " I am really passionate when comes to sex and beeing together....."
Gaeta Posted June 16, 2016 Posted June 16, 2016 I have been having some feedback about sex lately and I wanted to share this and know your opinion... I am Brasilian and lives in Switzerland.... I dated a Brit for 2 months and he ended things because he said I was too intense or too "hungry" in bed...and he didn't like it, he like it smoother or whatever..... also he said he didn't had time for me...and I never asked him more time....and in 2 months we didn't properly had sex, because he couldn't feel confortable with me...and I even felt bad abt it... I also noticed that some guys I meet here are colder and I am really passionate when comes to sex and beeing together..... But I am afectionate, is not something like a Porn Movie...i guess I just have this Latin Blood or whatever people call it.... I like to touch, hold and be together! Last night I had a ONS with a "friend" and I felt he also felt I was like 'too much" in therms os intensity... kissing was ok though....but we were also really drunk.... Should I step back and go slowlier with guys here? It's cultural. You tone it down to adapt to your new country or you get used to being dropped for being too much too fast. I was used to dating foreigners so I know south American men are very intense. It didn't scared me off because I knew their 20 phone calls a day was normal to them but any other Canadian woman would have been suffocated by it. Some of those foreigners I dated will have a really hard time finding relationships here if they don't understand their way of dating isn't the norm here. They will need to date in their own culture or like I said tone it down. 2
Larryville Posted June 16, 2016 Posted June 16, 2016 I am no angel but have not slept around but I can tell you that out of 30 odd men that I have slept with only one has been able to keep up. Two or three have tried gallantly. The rest just ran away, clutching their testicles screaming please God no more... Well not quite but near enough. Gee thanks Too, now we gotta live with that imagery for the remainder of the day
ly399 Posted June 16, 2016 Posted June 16, 2016 Yes. I have a high sex drive and have learnt the hard way that while men say it is what they want actually most struggle to keep up... They are not performing monkeys - just calm it down a bit. Let them make the moves sometimes. They are happier that way. hahahahaha this made my day. So true. I noticed that too. I have a good sex drive and most guys i dated can last pretty long (1+hr) in bed, but they usually have sex 2X at most. They can do more if i get them aroused, but most of times they just want to be left alone. 1
tinkerbell16 Posted June 16, 2016 Posted June 16, 2016 I have been having some feedback about sex lately and I wanted to share this and know your opinion... I am Brasilian and lives in Switzerland.... I dated a Brit for 2 months and he ended things because he said I was too intense or too "hungry" in bed...and he didn't like it, he like it smoother or whatever..... also he said he didn't had time for me...and I never asked him more time....and in 2 months we didn't properly had sex, because he couldn't feel confortable with me...and I even felt bad abt it... I also noticed that some guys I meet here are colder and I am really passionate when comes to sex and beeing together..... But I am afectionate, is not something like a Porn Movie...i guess I just have this Latin Blood or whatever people call it.... I like to touch, hold and be together! Last night I had a ONS with a "friend" and I felt he also felt I was like 'too much" in therms os intensity... kissing was ok though....but we were also really drunk.... Should I step back and go slowlier with guys here? Eureka! I am booking my ticket to Brazil! 2
Author venus83 Posted June 16, 2016 Author Posted June 16, 2016 "I also saw your thread about "Dave". Perhaps he is put off by you sleeping around... Some guys just like to keep it simple and while there is absolutely nothing wrong with anyone having their fun if you want a serious relationship with someone who cares you can't really eat all the cakes in the shop... Have a think about what you want. Do you want the long term attention of one man or the short term attention of many? Tks for your comment. I was thinking about that. I want a nice person to have a relatioship with. That is clear for me. I was also thinking that in Brasil things are a bit different than in Europe. I was just reading that here they tend to be more serious.... What you mean when you say "he wants to keep it simple."? I try to be really discomplicated....or at least I try. But my roomate just said feels he is not so much into me because he didn't make a date this week.... He answered my message...asked if we can meet next week...
Author venus83 Posted June 16, 2016 Author Posted June 16, 2016 It's cultural. You tone it down to adapt to your new country or you get used to being dropped for being too much too fast. I was used to dating foreigners so I know south American men are very intense. It didn't scared me off because I knew their 20 phone calls a day was normal to them but any other Canadian woman would have been suffocated by it. Some of those foreigners I dated will have a really hard time finding relationships here if they don't understand their way of dating isn't the norm here. They will need to date in their own culture or like I said tone it down. I agree with you and thanks for your answer. Yes Braziliand can be a pain in the ass... that is why I try to be really calm and not calling! But in bed mens as much more open and excited about it I guess. I am trying to let them lead more...I just noticed they might be a bit scared to no be able to cope with it!
Author venus83 Posted June 16, 2016 Author Posted June 16, 2016 (edited) [] I was reading some stuff about dating games in europe x america (south and north). Is here any European guy that can explain this to me? I read that Europeans take stuff more seriously. That means the guy will just really hang out with you if he is interested...so not playing much games. Also I read they don't ask exclusivity...when you have sex this is kinda on the deal... you don't need to verbalize that? As I said I am brasilian living in Switzerland. But I am done with over emotional people so I am pretty happy....BUT...I felt bed because he might be beeing """faithfull""" (with that I mean, just hanging out with me)....and I am hanging out with other guys....! He is from german part of SWI. We had 3 dates and sex in the last one. I thought he was going to desappear, but he didnt, we just agreed in a 4th date.... He seems pretty busy with work, but always text me every day or too...but didn't include on his weekend plans also! We just meet during week..... I am happy with the pace things are going but we never talked about relationship....I honestly think it is too early for that, but my Roomate just said it's weird that he does not want to hang out with me every week ou every 4 to 5 days at least....I think is kinda normal considering we met on Tinder and started talking 4 weeks ago...1 week he was traveling in vacation!. The worst part is that I think I like him and his Analytical style of doing stuff! Edited June 16, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator same topic, threads merged ~6
joseb Posted June 16, 2016 Posted June 16, 2016 You don't seen to like him, so I suggest you forget about him. As to your other questions, well as a European, I never was aware of the need to mention exclusivity or indeed label a relationship until I joined loveshack. Initially I just thought thus stiff eas only cultural, as in it didn't apply, but I think it's now becoming the norm, at least here in Australia. Swiss people are very reserved from my experience, more so than most Europeans. You might want to look for an Italian?
katiegrl Posted June 17, 2016 Posted June 17, 2016 (edited) I have five brothers, and they have told me there are certain women that come on real strong, intense and passionate sexually, too much so relative to what they are mutually feeling, and that, unless they are feeling off the charts chemistry with them, the woman looks ridiculous like she is putting on some grand performance, it comes off fake/phony, like a great big act, and that is a great big turnoff. Not suggesting you are like this OP, just repeating what my brothers have told me based on their experience with such women.... If there is mutual chemistry that is one thing, but in many cases, the woman basically just wants to f*ck. So yeah you may want to tone it down a bit, you are not there to impress anyone or win any awards for your sexual performance... but simply share a moment with a man you are attracted to. Edited June 17, 2016 by katiegrl 1
katiegrl Posted June 17, 2016 Posted June 17, 2016 (edited) Also the fact that you are asking if you should go slower, not be as intense, etc, indicates you are aware of how you acting, and are able to control it, which suggests it is not genuine, not a natural response to how you are feeling about and with a particular guy. Always keep it real and genuine... most men want a woman who is sexually responsive to them, individually, not a woman who does sexual cartwheels with every man she has sex with..... Edited June 17, 2016 by katiegrl 1
OnlyHonesty Posted June 17, 2016 Posted June 17, 2016 Maybe let things grow more naturally! Interesting choice of words...
Toodaloo Posted June 17, 2016 Posted June 17, 2016 Tks for your comment. I was thinking about that. I want a nice person to have a relatioship with. That is clear for me. I was also thinking that in Brasil things are a bit different than in Europe. I was just reading that here they tend to be more serious.... What you mean when you say "he wants to keep it simple."? I try to be really discomplicated....or at least I try. But my roomate just said feels he is not so much into me because he didn't make a date this week.... He answered my message...asked if we can meet next week... Date one guy and be monogamous to one guy at a time is what I mean by keep it simple... If he is a one woman kind of guy it is going to put him off to find that you are sleeping with others... 1
Weezy1973 Posted June 17, 2016 Posted June 17, 2016 most men want a woman who is sexually responsive to them, individually, not a woman who does sexual cartwheels with every man she has sex with..... I agree with this 100%. There's a big difference. What I've noticed, with a relatively small sample size mind you, is that for women who "love sex" it actually isn't about the sex. If it was just horniness, masturbation should take care of that pretty easily. For those women it was more the feeling of being desired. A lot of their self worth was derived from men desiring them sexually. Not healthy in my opinion. One's self worth should not be derived from external sources. 2
Author venus83 Posted June 17, 2016 Author Posted June 17, 2016 I agree that you are probably with the wrong men. Maybe you need someone with hot latin blood like you. Probably the men you choose like a more submissive woman in the bedroom. I know what you mean...but I am a bit tired this type... Italians and Brasilians are really good lovers, but things don't last....you get tired .... its exausting!
Author venus83 Posted June 17, 2016 Author Posted June 17, 2016 I have five brothers, and they have told me there are certain women that come on real strong, intense and passionate sexually, too much so relative to what they are mutually feeling, and that, unless they are feeling off the charts chemistry with them, the woman looks ridiculous like she is putting on some grand performance, it comes off fake/phony, like a great big act, and that is a great big turnoff. Not suggesting you are like this OP, just repeating what my brothers have told me based on their experience with such women.... If there is mutual chemistry that is one thing, but in many cases, the woman basically just wants to f*ck. So yeah you may want to tone it down a bit, you are not there to impress anyone or win any awards for your sexual performance... but simply share a moment with a man you are attracted to. Thank you so much for your message. You have no idea how much it was good to hear that. I think you are right. And made me think about something....in Brasil women are so pressed to be perfect all the time, to look sexy and stuff... I think I have been doing it all wrong and I am really happy to try to be myself....I hope it works....!
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