Jackson888 Posted June 16, 2016 Posted June 16, 2016 Hello, Me and my ex have been in NC for about 5 weeks now after a month relationship. Let me tell you all this relationship started quickly and ended quickly. She said she really liked me, "I was the only guy", "you were the only one my family approved", she'll be thinking of me for awhile now, but she can't be in a relationship because she's afraid and dumped her other ex a month before. As much as I really cared about her and as much as she said she was mutual, she started getting upset and mad at me for doing no wrong, so said she wants to not talk for a while to "put things in perspective". However, it seems as though her ex came into the picture as at the end of the relationship, she hid her phone often, pushed me off conversations, and told me to focus on myself more often? I really want to see what I can do to work things out, because what she did was awful and unfair to me.... She even initiated the relationship by making first moves. So I've been stuck and need some advice 1
LD1990 Posted June 16, 2016 Posted June 16, 2016 So this was a one-month relationship where she treated you awfully and was likely just using you as a rebound...no, you shouldn't break no contact. Cut your minimal losses here and move on. 3
bubbaganoosh Posted June 16, 2016 Posted June 16, 2016 What could you say to her that will matter? It isn't worth it. Just chalk it up to experience and move on while your still intact. 1
Author Jackson888 Posted June 16, 2016 Author Posted June 16, 2016 It wasn't like she treated me terribly throughout the entire time, though at the end she did. As in telling me to leave her house early and checking the time as if she wanted me to leave. Also, when she was texting someone when I was with her (no name, just emoji), she was always looking up at me as if she was guilty 1
Blanco Posted June 16, 2016 Posted June 16, 2016 Sounds like a magical relationship. Leave it be. You were her rebound guy; the guy she used to get over her last boyfriend. It doesn't even sound like she could stand you by the end, to be honest. And it was only a month! I sometimes go longer than that between making my car payments. 2
smudge21 Posted June 16, 2016 Posted June 16, 2016 No. She threw you out when her ex came back on the scene - why on earth would you want to be around someone who disprespects you like that? Surely you have more self respect than this? She doesn't care and I doubt she ever did - you were just an option, something to do, maybe to get her ex jealous. Stop looking for the good and happy in there and recognise the bad and how she really treated you. I know this is harsh, but it's clear you're still addicted to her and are one step away from making a her respect you even less (if that's possible). Let this one go and if she comes crawling back, make it clear how you feel and make her jump through your hoops. She kicked you out - she should be the one to come crawling back. Not you. 2
Author Jackson888 Posted June 16, 2016 Author Posted June 16, 2016 Very true, this is difficult for myself as I did no wrong. Sorta hard to accept it but there's nothing more I can do. When the ex came into the picture, she had shown me the messages he had sent her and said "I won't be talking to him anymore". But she did. Since that relationship went wrong (he cheated) makes since for her to do the same. In the end, it's her loss
smudge21 Posted June 16, 2016 Posted June 16, 2016 Sounds like they both deserve each other - playing and using people and each other without a care in the world. I know it's hard to accept and hear, but there is so much better out there. It's tough as you still love her, but what you are in love with is the memory of her. That person you've slapped on a pedestal and believe is perfect. In your mind you think it will be perfect if the two of you were together, but reality says otherwise. Once you've over this, fully healed, you'll understand and realise how better off you are without a toxic person in your life. Stay NC and do your best to accept that no matter how much we want to be with someone, how much we love them, how much we think they are truly wonderful... often they're nothing like that. We end up chasing a fantasy that we're responsible for creating.
Author Jackson888 Posted June 16, 2016 Author Posted June 16, 2016 Yeah eventually I'll get to that phase where it won't bother me. At times it does, at others it doesn't. The memories are what make me miss her. Though things seemed a bit fishy at first as she started messaging me initially like she wanted be relationship. So, she didn't know what she wanted, and the fact that I was "different" than her ex's. I asked her what she really liked about me at the time, and she didn't have much of a response other than that I was nice and smart and sweet etc. I mean if that's the quality she likes, then it's a little bit funny that she decided to push me off for a bad person
Blanco Posted June 16, 2016 Posted June 16, 2016 Is this your first relationship? I understand it's hard to be tossed aside, especially when you ostensibly did nothing wrong. But you two had a month together, which by your own admission, involved some cold treatment toward you. You two can't possibly have had that many incredible memories in such a short span of time, especially when you said she had started to back away near the end. 1
Author Jackson888 Posted June 16, 2016 Author Posted June 16, 2016 2nd, We spent a lot of time together because she wanted to... She couldn't resist talking to me. It makes since considering rebound
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