Jump to content

Is he over it or... quite not yet?

Felltoohard

By Felltoohard
in Dating

 Share
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

Felltoohard Member

Felltoohard

Posted
Posted

Hello everyone. First post on the forum so I hope I didn't mess up already. Anyhow, here's the thing:

 

A couple months ago a friend convinced me to get on Tinder and see what could possibly happen. After about 2 months of randomly chatting, I found a sweet guy. He works in the military, and is overseas until Fall 2017 (a month or so before I'll be done with college and move back to the states as well). We hit it off right away, everything seemed to go great. First date was awesome, he said he liked me. He then had to leave for 2 weeks on training.

 

Texted me as soon as he got back, saying he thought of me the whole time he was away and couldn't wait to see me. We went on a date on the next weekend and he introduced me to most of his friends - and then told me they all liked me - and had sex that night. Something I normally wouldn't do that soon, but chemistry was so strong and it just seemed the right thing to do.

He didn't text me for a couple days after that and so I did. He said he thought I was done with him since I didn't text either.

 

We went on another date the next weekend and he stayed the night at my place. We had fun, laughed and it was just so nice to have him there.

 

After that, I haven't seen him again. First he was sick (all his friends came to my city for the weekend and he didn't), then we didn't make plans but he was at the lake with friends, then he had a sport tournament, then again he was gone since his father was in town... and now he left for training again.

 

In this whole month, I always initiated contact, except for him liking some pictures of mine here and there.

I know he has a lot on his plate, so do I. But I don't see how we escalated so quickly from "I want someone to build something with etc", talking about the future and him always initiating contact to never texting first. Sometimes he also seems distant when he replies. He always does in matter of minutes tho.

 

He said he will text me when he will get back (probably in 2 weeks), but in the meantime.. what should I do? Make up my mind this thing is over before it has even started? Or stick around? I'm getting all paranoid, I never liked someone this much.

 

Thank you to anyone who will answer me :)

Toodaloo Established Member

Toodaloo

Posted
Posted

What you should do is stop worrying about him. Let him chase you. Stop contacting him! Let him do his training etc and he said he will call when he gets back so let him call when he gets back. If he does great if he doesn't well more fool him for loosing out on a hot chick!

 

Confidence girl. Have some confidence in yourself! Its not all about him you know! He has to prove he is worthy of YOU! ;)

  • Like 3
Eighty_nine Established Member

Eighty_nine

Posted
Posted

I think he liked/likes you, but sex happened too fast and it took some of the excitement of the pursuit away from him. This is always a risk when having sex early on. I'm sorry. I think if you continue to pursue him, he will definitely continue to fade away. If you back way off, he may come around. That's your only option at this point.

  • Like 2
  • Author
Felltoohard Member

Felltoohard

Posted
  • Author
Posted
What you should do is stop worrying about him. Let him chase you. Stop contacting him! Let him do his training etc and he said he will call when he gets back so let him call when he gets back. If he does great if he doesn't well more fool him for loosing out on a hot chick!

 

Confidence girl. Have some confidence in yourself! Its not all about him you know! He has to prove he is worthy of YOU! ;)

 

Thank you so much!! :love: I definitely won't contact him, he has to do so once back. I don't wanna come off as clingy 'cause I really am not, yet in the beginning he always "stressed" about how I should text first too sometimes. When I started doing it, he pretty much stopped texting first.

I really hope he will text. I won't lie, this whole Tinder thing worries me, 'cause too many people use take it all as a game. Yes, it can be.. but I feel like once you take the time to meet someone in person it shouldn't be as such. He also told me he hates games, doesn't want them and I shouldn't think of "us" as such.. And that we neither are "random", 'cause he hates it. Yet with me ended up constantly chasing him and him not putting in any effort anymore I feel like we're playing a game and that indeed it was a random thing. :(

  • Author
Felltoohard Member

Felltoohard

Posted
  • Author
Posted
I think he liked/likes you, but sex happened too fast and it took some of the excitement of the pursuit away from him. This is always a risk when having sex early on. I'm sorry. I think if you continue to pursue him, he will definitely continue to fade away. If you back way off, he may come around. That's your only option at this point.

 

I'll definitely fade away. My only worry is that he will text back when he comes and fade away after having fulfilled what he said he would have done.

I only hope these couple weeks away with no phone etc. will help him make up his mind and be more open about what he wants and so on.

Thank you for your answer :love:

elaine567 Established Member

elaine567

Posted
Posted

I think once he got what he wanted, he lost interest in you.

People who are interested, act interested, you are acting interested, he isn't. He is no longer interested is my guess, hence why he never initiates and why he is distant.

Sorry!

 

You can possibly retrieve this by pulling back too, but do you really want a man who is this inconsistent and who keeps you at a distance?

  • Like 3
misspond Established Member

misspond

Posted
Posted
I think once he got what he wanted, he lost interest in you.

People who are interested, act interested, you are acting interested, he isn't. He is no longer interested is my guess, hence why he never initiates and why he is distant.

Sorry!

 

You can possibly retrieve this by pulling back too, but do you really want a man who is this inconsistent and who keeps you at a distance?

 

I agree with Elaine567, he's done. He's keeping you on a back burner though, hence the texts back within minutes of you contacting him. If it helps to know he's probably not overthinking this, he doesn't think about why he's texting back so quickly, but on the downside he's not thinking, "OMG I really like her but I'm so busy right now....."

 

Done. Dust it off, get back out there. And when you go silent and this dude checks back in? Delete him now so that you never need to think about what that random message he will send in about three months "actually" meant.

  • Like 2
Toodaloo Established Member

Toodaloo

Posted
Posted

I really do not think you should worry about this guy.

 

Seems to me he is a bit wishy washy anyway. So just go quiet and let him fade away. Take some time out to yourself and go from there.

 

There is no point in getting emotionally invested in people that you only just met. If you do the only person who ends up hurting is you.

 

Give people the chance to show who they are.

 

This guy seems lazy in his dating practices in all honesty... You should not be bothered about it.

  • 2 weeks later...
  • Author
Felltoohard Member

Felltoohard

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Thank you everyone.

He definitely is lazy in his dating practices. I will fade away, if he texts good, if not.. I hope there's gonna be a better man out there for me.

 

Thank you again,

xoxo

 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...