Garnetgirl89 Posted June 15, 2016 Posted June 15, 2016 So I've been dating this guy for about a month and a half. We see each other every weekend. He's super consistent, keeps in contact every day, listens, plans and pays for dates, makes me dinner, etc. He has to go out of town on Saturday and insists on seeing me when he gets back that evening. All this sounds good but something seems off. It could be that he's just shy/bad at conversation/not into me. Example: the only compliments he's given me are that I'm sweet and respectable which would be a great recommendation if I was joining a nunnery. I initiate most of our making out but he gladly participates and gets excited about it very quickly. We're both looking for something serious so I don't know if this is him trying to be respectful of me and taking it slow or lack of interest. Should I ask him what he's thinking? 1
todreaminblue Posted June 15, 2016 Posted June 15, 2016 (edited) sounds like he is interested...him being excited when you plan things to do together...wanting to see you when he gets back from a trip that same day....in my mind...thats a guy who is definitely keen on you.... sounds also like he is being respectful of you and taking it slow...... he may not be a big conversationalist...a little shy perhaps and may take a little while to feel comfortable and open up to you...i would in my opinion if i were you...hang in there.... calling you sweet and saying you are respectable also points to the fact he is taking care not to offend....which i believe...is a good thing see if he wants to brainstorm with you on a future date you can do together.....find out his favourite place....plan on going there....familiarity can sometimes help reserved guys open upa bit...might be fun anyway to brainstorm a bit..... i wouldnt ask what eh was thinking just yet......see how things go a littl ewhile longer....and see if he opens up himself....naturally..........good luck...deb Edited June 15, 2016 by todreaminblue
Author Garnetgirl89 Posted June 15, 2016 Author Posted June 15, 2016 sounds like he is interested...him being excited when you plan things to do together...wanting to see you when he gets back from a trip that same day....in my mind...thats a guy who is definitely keen on you.... sounds also like he is being respectful of you and taking it slow...... he may not be a big conversationalist...a little shy perhaps and may take a little while to feel comfortable and open up to you...i would in my opinion if i were you...hang in there.... calling you sweet and saying you are respectable also points to the fact he is taking care not to offend....which i believe...is a good thing see if he wants to brainstorm with you on a future date you can do together.....find out his favourite place....plan on going there....familiarity can sometimes help reserved guys open upa bit...might be fun anyway to brainstorm a bit..... i wouldnt ask what eh was thinking just yet......see how things go a littl ewhile longer....and see if he opens up himself....naturally..........good luck...deb Thanks! This really affirmed what I've been thinking. He's probably the first guy I've actually really liked in a long time so naturally I'm overanalyzing everything.
Larryville Posted June 15, 2016 Posted June 15, 2016 I will just say this, because many of us guys get gun shy and many other have the rug pulled out from under, me personally I just act in a baseline fashion meaning regardless whether or not I am really into or very attracted to someone I meet (talking online) I’m not overly committing in terms of initiating We're both looking for something serious so I don't know if this is him trying to be respectful of me and taking it slow. Having said that a few women have said straight out to me that they did not think I was interested because basically I was not jumping all over them. Bottom line being polite and respectful and allowing things to slowly unravel is now seen as a negative because so many dudes act like jackasses. 1
smackie9 Posted June 15, 2016 Posted June 15, 2016 If you guys are looking for the same thing and he is consistent then don't worry about it. Not every guy is the same.
Author Garnetgirl89 Posted June 15, 2016 Author Posted June 15, 2016 I will just say this, because many of us guys get gun shy and many other have the rug pulled out from under, me personally I just act in a baseline fashion meaning regardless whether or not I am really into or very attracted to someone I meet (talking online) I’m not overly committing in terms of initiating Having said that a few women have said straight out to me that they did not think I was interested because basically I was not jumping all over them. Bottom line being polite and respectful and allowing things to slowly unravel is now seen as a negative because so many dudes act like jackasses. I agree that taking things slow probably doesn't pan out well for guys. I imagine most girls start getting attention from someone more aggressive and then pull a slow fade on the serious guy. I think he's starting to realize that I'm not going to disappear on him. I'm okay with being patient. Based on what I know about him so far it'll be worth it.
smackie9 Posted June 15, 2016 Posted June 15, 2016 Bottom line being polite and respectful and allowing things to slowly unravel is now seen as a negative because so many dudes act like jackasses. I don't think it's a negative thing, it's more of a preference. Some women like gentle and slow, some like more assertive guy taking the lead/making moves. Me I like something in the middle. I would reject anyone who was way too aggressive or was too slow or timid.
Larryville Posted June 15, 2016 Posted June 15, 2016 I don't think it's a negative thing, it's more of a preference. Some women like gentle and slow, some like more assertive guy taking the lead/making moves. I get that Smack but us dudes can’t read minds and as for me I don’t know how to be any other way. If I was the type of dude who just wanted to collect trophies that would be one thing, but I am looking for something of substance. Also… generally speaking those who made the statement about me seeming “not into them” I was not feeling it anyway, don’t know if that is gut intuition (someone mentioned that in another thread I started) I’m looking for a balance and if there is chemistry those things just flow naturally. It’s just very hard and dating these days makes it harder because certainly if I “go to slow for some” they can just go back to the OLD store and find another dude anyway.
VeveCakes Posted June 15, 2016 Posted June 15, 2016 He sounds like a nice respectable guy, I wouldn't worry
BaileyB Posted June 15, 2016 Posted June 15, 2016 It sounds very much like my current relationship. I think it's great - relationships take time to grow and there is nothing to say that this pace is wrong. Just try to enjoy it - he sounds like a really nice guy! Good luck.
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