Leyee Posted June 15, 2016 Posted June 15, 2016 (edited) Hi guys, I've been dating a guy (28y, French) for just over a month. My attraction level started off quite high, but now I am not attracted to him anymore. I want to ask if these behaviours are clingy or its normal but it's just I'm not attracted to him anymore so I feel like he is being clingy 1) he wants to see me everyday, and asks me to stay over at his place every night 2) he gets very frustrated and sad when I say I don't want to stay over 3) he gets frustrated I don't reply to his texts immediately, and he texts me every hour or so 4) he got frustrated I wanted to spend time with my family when they visited me and complained he only got to see me twice in a week, he complained that I didn't want to stay with him overnight whilst they were here. 5) he is a bit insecure because previous gf cheated on him twice 6) he wanted to move in together within 2 weeks of knowing each other 7) I am leaving for another country in two months time and within the second date he was up for moving with me to another city. Found a job in the other country and everything. 8) he wants to kiss me and cuddle me all the time 9) when we are together he just wants to hug all the time and do things like chess. It's kind of boring to me. 10) he keeps saying that he feels I am being distant He is a caring guy, handsome, good job, very smart. A good catch. I have told him before that I am struggling to spend that much time with him as I am balancing work, family, hobbies and him. He says he will try to slow down but I always feel the pressure and spending time with him just seems a chore now. I suggested a break up and he is very stubborn and just doesn't get it. He says he will still move to another country and he wants to try again Edited June 15, 2016 by Leyee
TunaCat Posted June 15, 2016 Posted June 15, 2016 Don't "suggest a breakup" Break up with him. He's beyond clingy and there is no way in hell I'd be dating a guy like this. I don't want to call the guy controlling, but I'm definitely sensing some controlling behavior just from your post. It's only going to get worse. 3
Author Leyee Posted June 15, 2016 Author Posted June 15, 2016 I also feel he is being controlling. He tells me that he feels frustrated that my family are 'controlling me' when I say I want to spend time with them. And when I told him I didn't think moving in together so quickly after two weeks was a good idea, he said he felt like my mother was 'controlling me'. Because my mother had some reservations about moving in so quickly. Of course I did too. He asks me sometimes if he is being too clingy.
ExpatInItaly Posted June 15, 2016 Posted June 15, 2016 There are a lot of red flags here. Yes, he's too clingy. But it's going beyond that; he's controlling and already trying to alienate you from your family. Both are very bad signs. This behaviour is an indication of worse to come and you've only just started seeing each other. I would break up with him immediately. 1
GemmaUK Posted June 15, 2016 Posted June 15, 2016 Run for the hills! This guy is controlling and it will only get worse. Controlling behaviour like that can lead to abusive behaviour. 1
BaileyB Posted June 15, 2016 Posted June 15, 2016 Red flags. Red flags! I'm not saying leave him, but recognize he has some issues here... Talk to him and tell him that you need some space. Hopefully, he can relax a little and not need constant reassurance that you will stay.
joseb Posted June 15, 2016 Posted June 15, 2016 Well, I'm saying leave him! You already say you are not attracted to him anymore, so I don't think there is any point dragging it on. He is uber clingy. Some people might like that, but he sounds off to me. Wanting to move in after 2 weeks? Nah. And yeah, you don't 'suggest a break up '- you tell him you are breaking up. 1
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