Marco1 Posted June 14, 2016 Posted June 14, 2016 Hi all, Been looking on here a lot lately since my breakup and thought I would share my story. Basically I (24) had been with my girlfriend(21) for just over 5 years, its been pretty much solid all the way through those 5 years, even up till a few months ago we were both really happy together. However the last 2 months of the relationship wasn't so good. I was working a lot of overtime and she had just started a new job meeting aload of new people, we became abit distant with eachother and the texting which we did almost all day everyday had really dropped to a few dead convos here and there. Also when we were together it was just obvious something had changed, she wasn't as 'into me' as she had been these past 5 years. Ofcourse I and as your probably thinking she met somebody new at work. I did question her as to why she was acting off with me and whether she had started to like someone new, she always insisted this was not the case. Anyway at the end of april we had a big talk and both agreed we had drifted and she got really upset and said she didn't know why but she was sure she wanted to be with me. After this for the past week things seemed to pick up and it was getting good again. This never lasted and after the week it went back to the same distant again, half way through may we had another talk and she admitted she thinks its best we split up. She said she thought I was perfect to her, always treated her perfect which is why she is so confused but she just feels like she loves me but not "in love" with me. I know this is probably not the real reason for the breakup though, or maybe it is I don't know. I was shocked at first as although I knew we was distant I thought we could work through it but obviously she did not want to, maybe there is someone else? she still insists there isn't even after the breakup. Anyway after the breakup for the next 2 weeks I wasn't bombarding her with constant messages 'begging' but I was trying to get answers and letting her know how perfect I thought she was (ofcourse this doesn't help as you all know) Anyway after this I went into NC for just over a week just to clear my head and start healing, I then had to message her as we had an holiday to cancel and there was a charge (paid 50% each of the fee) So after that I went back into contact for another 2 weeks, however 2 days ago she liked a picture of me that I posted on social media (this is nothing I know) don't know why she would do it though I know I wouldn't of. Anyway I ignore it and carry on as normal then the next day she facebook messages me something about the photo, harmless I know but at first I ignored it. then she sent a emoji of eyes rolled after I didn't reply for an hour. Still didn't reply. Anyway today I replied to her and told her that I'd like us to have a break from speaking to eachother and I know for sure we cant be friends this soon but who knows what will happen in the future. And I said I hoped she was doing good and left it at that. She replied 15 minutes later with "okay lol" and then she went back on the social media to unlike my picture which I thought was pointlessly strange? And that's where I'm at today, have gone back into NC now and plan on staying there. Just didn't feel right completely ignoring her harmless messages without letting her know that I had no intention of staying in contact or being friends at the moment. Shes also sent me another message this evening about a letter that came for me (a bill) I told her to bin it and ill sort it as I already know what it is. but now shes acting really blunt and pissed off with me. Anyway that's how my story is at the moment, I've gone NC to get over her and continue to clear my head although its now been a month and I feel a lot better. Ive been working out quite a lot too and started swimming which I think helped. If anyone has had similar situations or any opinions on why things suddenly change within as little as a month? Or Why she is acting weird like this with liking/unliking photos??? seems so pointless to even bother to me.. Id love to get back with her, but I know at this point its not possible. Im sure if it was ever to happen we are going to have to spend some times apart to appreciate it that's for sure. Thanks in advance for any help! Marco 1
Satu Posted June 14, 2016 Posted June 14, 2016 It sounds to me that you're handling things well. Keep your attention on yourself, and your own wellbeing. Do stuff that makes you feel good. Spend time with people who make you feel good; people who really 'get' you. Bring every good influence together in you. Be that locus. NC makes all that much easier. *No direct contact. *No sending or receiving of messages. *Block any means she might use to contact you. *No replies to anything that gets through your blocks. *No indirect contact through third parties. *De-friend or delete from all social media. *No monitoring of her on social media. *No 'little birds' feeding you news. *Tell people that you don't want to know anything about what she is doing or saying. Take care. 1
Bjames Posted June 14, 2016 Posted June 14, 2016 She does seem to be acting weird. Maybe she's mad that you aren't trying to win her back? Not that you owe her anything, she broke up with you. My ex-gf of five years broke up with me 2 weeks ago. She's been acting a little weird also, although in a different way. Truthfully I've spent to much time trying to decipher what's going on in her head until I finally realized I'm never going to know. Any nobody on these forums know either. In your case I would agree no-contact is the way to go. Maybe tell her next time that you (for the time being) are willing to give it another shot, but you need space if it isn't going to be now. Maybe if you don't want to get back together now, tell her you need time to get your head on straight. 1
Author Marco1 Posted June 14, 2016 Author Posted June 14, 2016 @Satu - Thank you for you're reply, don't get me wrong im gutted it's over as I was really happy in the relationship and up until the last month or two I know she was too. But the way I look at it is there are soo many other girls out there I would much rather spend my time and energy chasing one of those than using energy trying to make someone see what they had, I don't expect her back and im certainly not holding out any hope for her. I am going to do each of those things you suggested for no contact also as that seems like the best option to me. Thanks again. @Bjames - Thank you for you're reply. Well like you say I don't, we don't know whats going on in their heads. Only they can answer that and I don't think she will anytime soon if ever. I don't think it's the case of not chasing her though as I did try to get her back shortly after the breakup, made the usual mistakes like telling her how perfect she is, how I thought we were perfect, old memories bla bla bla. She was actually quite blunt and cold with me, when I spoke to her I literally had to force a reply and even then she didn't always reply to every message. This is when I realised wtf am I doing? Ill move on and let her get on with it. Literally 9 days after I stopped and went NC she likes a picture of mine and messages me the next day about it, I think she was hoping I would start all over again telling her how I want her and shes perfect.. So maybe in that sense your right? who knows. Instead I hit her with a completely different topic of I don't want friendship right now, im definitely not ready for it then I get back a cold "okay lol" and an unlike I understand that we may possibly never speak again, if we do it certainly wont be me initiating it. I'm a month post breakup and I already see a few things in the relationship that I wasn't completely happy with.. Little things but still when you are so inlove and in the moment you pass these things off as nothing, I think its only when you start healing and getting over it that you realise these things.
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