B33F24 Posted June 14, 2016 Posted June 14, 2016 Hey everyone, So let me preface by saying I am a generally an outgoing, well spoken, friendly person and have no trouble holding a conversation with someone whether I am on a date with a girl or just shooting the **** in a bar. However, I am TERRIBLE at the initiation phase. If someone comes up to me and starts a conversation or I get pulled into one by those around me, I'm great. It's being able to start something up myself with someone new where I struggle. Which brings me to my current situation. There is this girl who works in the same office building as me, different companies, but we all use the same lunch area. Anyways, I have caught her now, on multiple occasions, staring at me and continuing to keep eye contact when I look back. This happens fairly often during the hour I am up there on lunch. She is a cute girl, definitely someone I am attracted too. My issue is I feel stupid just walking up to her and sparking a conversation, but that's exactly what I want to do. I'm looking for advice on how to do this without feeling like an idiot doing so. Like I said at the beginning of the thread, I have no trouble keeping conversations and talking with someone, it's the initiation that really gets me. Thanks in advance for the help.
jen1447 Posted June 14, 2016 Posted June 14, 2016 Seems pretty obvs she'd like to interact w/you so you don't have to worry so much about getting shot down. Just walk up to her, stick out your hand, and say "Hi, I'm B33F24." (Assuming that's not your real name and you're not in the robot factory. ) Do you need more help than that? 1
smackie9 Posted June 14, 2016 Posted June 14, 2016 Just think how you would like someone to approach you...then do that.
scooby-philly Posted June 14, 2016 Posted June 14, 2016 I agree - her intentions seem clear. For good guys who maybe did'nt have a lot of dating experience during hs/college - it's hard to pick up what women are throwing down sometimes and rejection is a fear a lot of guys have. I think what the OP wants isn't the first line "Hey, I'm Brian, I work over in Company X" - but the second line so instead of saying "I noticed you looking at me while I'm here in the cafe" making both him and potentially her awkward why not try "________" Thoughts anyone? What about something like "hey - I noticed you here in the cafe....where do you work?" You can also ask around a bit - maybe if you know someone you see her sitting with (or at least know them well enough so you can introduce yourself to them and give them the lowdown - they might be willing to help you out - and she might be very appreciative of you doing the leg work...)
jen1447 Posted June 14, 2016 Posted June 14, 2016 Ok, if it was me, I'd do the self-introduction thing and then ask if she minded if I joined her for lunch. Then I'd tell her some mildly engaging story about the food or sth seemingly topical that happened that morning while smiling at her so she wouldn't feel like she has to run w/the ball right away. Then I'd toss it back to her pretty quickly tho so we had a back-and-forth and get her to tell me a similar story of her own so she opened up. Then I'd giggle and smile and touch her hand. Etc., etc. Then I'd make out w/her in the stairwell.
SoThatHappened Posted June 15, 2016 Posted June 15, 2016 People tend to regret things they DON'T do more than the things they DO. Makeamove... I also like jen's idea
T-16bullseyeWompRat Posted June 15, 2016 Posted June 15, 2016 Yeah man, just go say hi and introduce yourself. No need for some cheesy plan to sweep her off her feet. Next time you see her looking your way, make eye contact and smile at her. Then stand up and walk over there and introduce yourself. Then ask "care to have lunch together?" She is throwing then signals your way already. Conversation will flow from there. Especially with equal interest in one another. Show your nerves who's boss. You got this bro.
Recommended Posts