Would you lend money to a partner (if you didnt know why)

[elaine567]

I really hope your faith in him is justified, but the more I read the more I don't like this.

Be very careful, you are the outsider here, the one with the cash

too. YOU may think they are your friends BUT they may in fact resent you - born lucky with a silver spoon, her own business with thousands of dollars in cash... what's not to resent?

Especially now they NEED you to lend them money, that can grate big time, they should be grateful to you, but in reality it doesn't often seem to pan out that way.

Given the choice he chose them, I guess he will always choose them .

He also assumed you were so besotted you wouldn't question him and that doesn't sit well with me either.

[beatcuff]

OP, i think you need to step back and reconcile what your relationship IS v what you THINK it is.

 

his unwillingness to 'share' his 'problem' means HE does NOT trust you. BTW:

 

Then BF comes to me asks to borrow ... He says he does trust me but I need to trust him that he's doing his best by me and our son

 

was it? how could it?

[Olly.]

Well I certainly hope you're not supporting him.

I don't support him financially. He works, he's a sports coach. We've always shared bills and stuff, but he'll always want to pay when we go out ..not that I let him.

 

Any 24 year old 'man' who wants to borrow thousands of dollars from a single mom - and that's what you ARE - isn't very mature or responsible.

 

 

Be very careful, you are the outsider here, the one with the cash

too. YOU may think they are your friends BUT they may in fact resent you - born lucky with a silver spoon, her own business with thousands of dollars in cash... what's not to resent?

Hmm.. we have had different upbringings, that's the truth. Its never been about money though. And its not like I'm rich!

Given the choice he chose them, I guess he will always choose them .

This does worry me not gonna lie. For us to have a future me and my son need to be number one on his list. Everytime!!

He also assumed you were so besotted you wouldn't question him and that doesn't sit well with me either.

Well this was sheer madness! I can't understand his thought process AT ALL!

 

 

OP, i think you need to step back and reconcile what your relationship IS v what you THINK it is.

He is a great guy, he is.. He has always been really good to us.. I'm not one to get like mushy but up to now he has always supported me, he's a positive guy I feel happy around him, he makes me feel relaxed, he makes me feel ..loved I guess. It sounds really stupid written down but I've always felt like he so completely has my back that he really does see me as something special. He's so good to my son as well, he gets up early to take him swimming before school every morning, he takes him to the park after school, he cooks with him, he's always treated him completely like his own, I love that. He's always been so great with my sons difficulties as well, he's so so so calm with him, he never gets stressed. Even like last night I made him go sleep on the sofa cause I don't know where I'm am at the moment but I couldn't sleep so I went down to get a drink, and he was in my sons room. My sons suffering with nightmares at the moment But he was cuddled up to my bf who was reading to him.... I was kinda like aw man, cause it was hard not to melt a little bit.. They have such a great relationship ...he makes us a family!

 

 

He is a really good guy, I still believe that. I'm just struggling with the implications all this has had on the natural connection and bond that we've had from the start.

 

 

I still love him, but its just not quite as good as it was like a week ago ....and that's really really hard..

[preraph]

Don't back down. You're totally right. If he can't trust you with the reason why, you can't trust him with your money. Period.

[elaine567]

And its not like I'm rich!

 

it's all relative though.

[Timshel]

I still love him, but its just not quite as good as it was like a week ago ....and that's really really hard..

 

Olly, if he/family is engaged in 'business' that should be no where near your son or yourself....leave. Full stop.

 

If you are tormented that an until now effortless relationship has hit a hard bump...welcome to a reality.

 

We don't know what the 'secret' is (probably will by the time I am done typing) all we know is that it sounds wretched and you were and still are feeling upside down.

 

I can't disagree with the suggestions of other posters, if this is something that has compromised your safety and you are beginning to realize that he has a part of his life that has been withheld....walk away.

 

Also, if any part of this new knowledge would be harmful to other people...you have an obligation to tell. Full stop.

[Olly.]

it's all relative though.

 

Yeah it is and I am better off that him, that's a fact.

 

That's not something I've ever really felt conscious of though, I've always felt like we're equals.

He's not a very materialistic guy either, he doesn't really care about 'things' and he's certainly never asked me for money before..

[MissBee]

I would be very concerned that your bf of 2 years feels that he can't tell you about the problems in his life. That is a HUGE red flag - the money is secondary.

 

I agree.

 

I mean, what kind of problem is this? It doesn't even matter. If your boyfriend is involved in something so bad or dangerous or some such that he cannot tell you to "protect you," that in itself is a HUGE HONKING red flag.I don't think any healthy relationship can exist wherein such secrets are going on. I would be completely paranoid! It would raise questions about if this secret thing has been going on ALL along and just now is when it's come to a head so he can't hide it completely because he needs my money, but still cannot say what it is. I mean...even if you loan him...and even if he pays it back...or even if it is a gift...how can the relationship continue with security and trust if he even gives back the money but still maintains that he can never say what it was for?

 

That is a bigger deal than the money itself.

[beatcuff]

now answer my question:

 

how was the request for money without disclosing the use "[he's] doing his best by me and our son"

 

or how is giving him money in the best interest of you and your son.

[Olly.]

I don't think any healthy relationship can exist wherein such secrets are going on. I would be completely paranoid!

...

That is a bigger deal than the money itself.

Yeah I completely agree! I was a 100x more paranoid than if he had just told me the damn problem in the first place.

 

 

It was such a weird weird decision on his part, its hard cause I'm normally so in sync with his thought process but this one was simply crazy!

 

 

how was the request for money without disclosing the use "[he's] doing his best by me and our son".

Well that's bs! I'LL decide whats best for me and our son! and I need be kept in the loop so that I can do that, I don't need him to protect me or make decisions on my behalf! I don't need him to be my dad, I need him to be my partner.

[Olly.]

Olly, if he/family is engaged in 'business' that should be no where near your son or yourself....leave. Full stop.

It isn't like that. Its to do with half sis's ex, and its a bit messy, and I understand that he's trying to help his family but I think they were getting completely dragged into something they didn't need to get involved in, and going about it the wrong way.

Which is exactly what they knew i'd think, i'm sure! Most likely because they're not stupid and they know that's the truth of it, like it or not!

 

If you are tormented that an until now effortless relationship has hit a hard bump...welcome to a reality.

Yeah true, I guess.

I mean I don't deny I have trust issues to an extent. And maybe it is an overreaction, maybe I should just be able to put it to one side and move forward, I don't know.

 

 

I spoke to his big bro today, I had strong words with him, I know that the whole thing was his idea because that's obvious..

He was apologetic, but he was very much 'be mad at me but don't be mad at [my bf]'. He was like "c'mon Olly, you know he'd do anything for you and [my son] ...he'd walk through fire if you'd simply say the word ...he loves you, you must know that ..what you guys have doesn't come around everyday don't throw it away"

 

 

Part of me reacts like 'hey i'll do what I want', but I know a lot of what he said is the truth..

I don't know quite why I find it so hard, but I do, I wish I didn't. I wish I could be like "ah he made a mistake, lets just draw a line under it", But I don't know, I don't find it easy to feel close to people .......I guess the cold hard truth is that I don't actually find relationships easy and we've probably relied super heavily on him pushing us forward so tirelessly, which isn't something I've really ever admitted to myself but its probably true, he's such an upbeat guy, and I feel such a connection with him, that he has pulled me out of my comfort zone somewhat..

 

 

Maybe I do expect too much of people but you cant just turn that off can you

[Timshel]

It isn't like that. Its to do with half sis's ex, and its a bit messy, and I understand that he's trying to help his family but I think they were getting completely dragged into something they didn't need to get involved in, and going about it the wrong way.

Which is exactly what they knew i'd think, i'm sure! Most likely because they're not stupid and they know that's the truth of it, like it or not!

 

 

Yeah true, I guess.

I mean I don't deny I have trust issues to an extent. And maybe it is an overreaction, maybe I should just be able to put it to one side and move forward, I don't know.

 

 

I spoke to his big bro today, I had strong words with him, I know that the whole thing was his idea because that's obvious..

He was apologetic, but he was very much 'be mad at me but don't be mad at [my bf]'. He was like "c'mon Olly, you know he'd do anything for you and [my son] ...he'd walk through fire if you'd simply say the word ...he loves you, you must know that ..what you guys have doesn't come around everyday don't throw it away"

 

 

Part of me reacts like 'hey i'll do what I want', but I know a lot of what he said is the truth..

I don't know quite why I find it so hard, but I do, I wish I didn't. I wish I could be like "ah he made a mistake, lets just draw a line under it", But I don't know, I don't find it easy to feel close to people .......I guess the cold hard truth is that I don't actually find relationships easy and we've probably relied super heavily on him pushing us forward so tirelessly, which isn't something I've really ever admitted to myself but its probably true, he's such an upbeat guy, and I feel such a connection with him, that he has pulled me out of my comfort zone somewhat..

 

 

Maybe I do expect too much of people but you cant just turn that off can you

 

No, you can't and I do understand. Well, this need not be rushed. Take time to process this development and communicate with him what you are experiencing. I sincerely hope he is starting to get how all of this has affected you.

 

Regarding the secret...sounds like a vortex of trauma drama, can.not.stand.that stupidity. Run like the wind from that tomfoolery.

Let your man know not to expect your participation of this sort, he can tell you all he wants....but he'll go it alone.

 

Be patient with yourself and him, I think time and a better/deeper understanding of each other will resolve this.

[Olly.]

No, you can't and I do understand. Well, this need not be rushed. Take time to process this development and communicate with him what you are experiencing.

Yeah I know I should. I find it really hard to talk about how I feel, I don't know why, I've always been like that, I don't really show people how I feel (unless I'm mad lol). I guess in some ways its kind of nice to sit behind a wall.

But its different with him, its weird, I guess it comes back to that connection, theres something about him that seems to just get me.. He seems to always know how I feel by the smallest look, he knows when I'm joking & when I'm not, when i'm cool & when I'm worried. And I guess over the last 2-3 years I've got used to having him there, someone I have that deeper emotional relationship with, I guess its kind of like the feeling of having a safety net (not that that's what I see him as but just that, I don't know, he's with me).

Not that i'd actually tell him any of that but I don't know, I think that's why I've taken this so hard. Maybe someone else wouldn't have.

 

 

I sincerely hope he is starting to get how all of this has affected you.

Yeah, I know he feels bad.

He's been REALLY quiet, which is weird cause the guy doesn't shut up ever, he chats all day, he doesn't even need it to be a two way conversation he'll just chat, he even talks in his sleep.

Its actually not really helping his cause because its making 'us' and 'home' feel really abnormal (although I'm sure if he was acting normal I'd say he didn't even seem to be taking it seriously or something else outlandishly hypocritical ....this is clearly why people think I'm high maintenance )

 

Regarding the secret...sounds like a vortex of trauma drama, can.not.stand.that stupidity. Run like the wind from that tomfoolery.

Let your man know not to expect your participation of this sort, he can tell you all he wants....but he'll go it alone.

Exactly. I don't want them to get embroiled and drawn into something that is going to lead to trouble. I'm not going to stand by and let him do that when I honestly believe its a massive mistake. I don't doubt their good intentions but their method was madness!

 

Be patient with yourself and him, I think time and a better/deeper understanding of each other will resolve this.

I hope so! Thank you anyway! Thanks for listening!

[Timshel]

Yeah I know I should. I find it really hard to talk about how I feel, I don't know why, I've always been like that, I don't really show people how I feel (unless I'm mad lol). I guess in some ways its kind of nice to sit behind a wall.

 

Yes, it is...but entirely unproductive in a relationship.

 

But its different with him, its weird, I guess it comes back to that connection, theres something about him that seems to just get me.. He seems to always know how I feel by the smallest look, he knows when I'm joking & when I'm not, when i'm cool & when I'm worried. And I guess over the last 2-3 years I've got used to having him there, someone I have that deeper emotional relationship with, I guess its kind of like the feeling of having a safety net (not that that's what I see him as but just that, I don't know, he's with me).

Not that i'd actually tell him any of that but I don't know, I think that's why I've taken this so hard. Maybe someone else wouldn't have.

Olly, asking you for thousands of dollars out of the blue and announcing that it be forked over with no explanation would put any person on guard. Your reaction has been perfectly reasonable.

 

Yeah, I know he feels bad.

He's been REALLY quiet, which is weird cause the guy doesn't shut up ever, he chats all day, he doesn't even need it to be a two way conversation he'll just chat, he even talks in his sleep.

Its actually not really helping his cause because its making 'us' and 'home' feel really abnormal (although I'm sure if he was acting normal I'd say he didn't even seem to be taking it seriously or something else outlandishly hypocritical ....this is clearly why people think I'm high maintenance )

 

Exactly. I don't want them to get embroiled and drawn into something that is going to lead to trouble. I'm not going to stand by and let him do that when I honestly believe its a massive mistake. I don't doubt their good intentions but their method was madness!

 

No, Olly...you have zero control how any person behaves or prioritizes their actions/words....zero, zip, none.

I meant that you may decide what you will or will not be emotionally or physically involved with and in this case, make financial donations.

Your bf has disclosed to you that he asked you to give him money, no questions asked, for a family 'drama' that was unfolding. Your bf leaned on your love/trust for him in order to rectify family drama.

I am not suggesting that you 'fix' his family dynamic, only that you see it for what it is (detrimental to your relationship) and distance yourself from it. Do you understand my point?

 

I hope so! Thank you anyway! Thanks for listening![/quote

 

If you are both interested in being together long term, you will need to learn better communication. Olly, if he is your partner and you are a team, talking openly with each other is not an option or a luxury.

[Olly.]

Olly, asking you for thousands of dollars out of the blue and announcing that it be forked over with no explanation would put any person on guard. Your reaction has been perfectly reasonable.

Mm yeah!

 

No, Olly...you have zero control how any person behaves or prioritizes their actions/words....zero, zip, none.

I meant that you may decide what you will or will not be emotionally or physically involved with and in this case, make financial donations.

Your bf has disclosed to you that he asked you to give him money, no questions asked, for a family 'drama' that was unfolding. Your bf leaned on your love/trust for him in order to rectify family drama.

I am not suggesting that you 'fix' his family dynamic, only that you see it for what it is (detrimental to your relationship) and distance yourself from it. Do you understand my point?

That I can only choose to distance myself (and my son) from bad situations, not George?

I do get that, you cant make anyone else do anything they don't want t do. But I only want what's best for us, as a couple, as a family, and he does listen to my opinion (normally, I mean obviously this time he simply didn't tell me so yeah I couldn't of done a damn thing)

 

 

If you are both interested in being together long term, you will need to learn better communication. Olly, if he is your partner and you are a team, talking openly with each other is not an option or a luxury.

Yeah that's totally valid.

I mean I do communicate with him about almost everything, for me he is like the one person I feel I can really really talk to!

But I still don't like to keep telling him that this has really shaken my trust in him, that I'm hurt he felt he couldn't tell me, and hurt that he'd risk our relationship, and that I feel insecure right now and I hate feeling like everythings up in the air it makes me feel scared/anxious about the future.. I told him at the time ..I even got emotional at the time.. I feel like I've said it, you know? He's heard it. I till feel it but I don't really know what else to say.

 

He'd set up this game of Escalado before he went out tonight, which is like a wooden horse racing game my son loves, which I really didn't think I felt like playing but he was like "cmon just 10 mins" and actually, it was nice. It was nice to be normal for a little while, to laugh with him.

He went to hold my hand at one point and I just said to him I still wasn't in that head space, he was just like "i know, I let you down but I swear i'll make it up to you, I want to spend every day with you and I want this, and i'll keep learning, and i'll do whatever it takes" ..then he was like "pinky promise" which did make me laugh ......I do feel a bit better when i'm with him. It's when i'm not with him that I start to work myself up I think

[MrDuck]

Yeah that's totally valid.

I mean I do communicate with him about almost everything, for me he is like the one person I feel I can really really talk to!

But I still don't like to keep telling him that this has really shaken my trust in him, that I'm hurt he felt he couldn't tell me, and hurt that he'd risk our relationship, and that I feel insecure right now and I hate feeling like everythings up in the air it makes me feel scared/anxious about the future.. I told him at the time ..I even got emotional at the time.. I feel like I've said it, you know? He's heard it. I till feel it but I don't really know what else to say.

 

He'd set up this game of Escalado before he went out tonight, which is like a wooden horse racing game my son loves, which I really didn't think I felt like playing but he was like "cmon just 10 mins" and actually, it was nice. It was nice to be normal for a little while, to laugh with him.

He went to hold my hand at one point and I just said to him I still wasn't in that head space, he was just like "i know, I let you down but I swear i'll make it up to you, I want to spend every day with you and I want this, and i'll keep learning, and i'll do whatever it takes" ..then he was like "pinky promise" which did make me laugh ......I do feel a bit better when i'm with him. It's when i'm not with him that I start to work myself up I think

You have a right to feel hurt? Totally!

 

But You're waiting for your feelings to just disappear, or go away by themselves.

 

You feel better when he distracts you from the way you feel but that's only temporary you're not dealing with the root of the problem! I know you don't see the point saying the same things over and over, but just cause you're not saying it doesn't mean you're doesn't mean you're not still thinking it. Surely that defeats the point.

 

This is all cause you wanted him to share his problem with you right, but he didn't want to burden you with it or whatever. Are you not doing literally the EXACT same thing now, albeit to a lesser extent???

[Olly.]

You have a right to feel hurt? Totally!

 

But You're waiting for your feelings to just disappear, or go away by themselves.

 

You feel better when he distracts you from the way you feel but that's only temporary you're not dealing with the root of the problem! I know you don't see the point saying the same things over and over, but just cause you're not saying it doesn't mean you're doesn't mean you're not still thinking it. Surely that defeats the point.

 

This is all cause you wanted him to share his problem with you right, but he didn't want to burden you with it or whatever. Are you not doing literally the EXACT same thing now, albeit to a lesser extent???

Hmm...

 

 

 

 

Yeah yeah I see you're point! Its a fair assesment! It's not that I don't want to speak to him about it, it's just finding a way to do so constructively. I don't mind a difficult conversation if we're making progress, but I hate going around in circles just for the sake..

[Emilia]

Hmm...

 

Yeah yeah I see you're point! Its a fair assesment! It's not that I don't want to speak to him about it, it's just finding a way to do so constructively. I don't mind a difficult conversation if we're making progress, but I hate going around in circles just for the sake..

Sorry if I missed the point here, but who is going around in circles? You or him?

[Olly.]

Sorry if I missed the point here, but who is going around in circles? You or him?

Sorry! I mean me. I mean, I get the need to communicate and to share how were feeling and that that is essential in a strong relationship, but obviously I did open up completely, I told him exactly how I felt, how I feel like our trust has shaken, like he's risked our stability & our relationship, that he's hurt my feelings by feeling like who couldn't tell me what was going on, and made feel insecure because he didn't make me (or my son) his top priority. I didn't hide the fact I was angry. Probably worst of all is the fact that our connection, that has always been such a strong bond for us, feels up in the air, maybe even a little bit weaker and I didn't hide the fact I was upset!

 

 

That is how I felt!

I told him. I know he's sorry. Of course I still love him. But that doesn't make all those feelings just go away! I'm still struggling with it..

But, and I don't know if this is right or wrong really, I feel like if I want to stick with this and with Gee.. which I do ..all I can do is try to look to the future now? What else is there to say but what I've already said.

 

 

I could tell him again, but I feel like that would be going in circles..

[katiegrl]

Olly, question for you to think about.

 

What is bothering you more, the fact he refuses to tell you why he needs the money,

 

OR

 

The fact he asked you for it in the first place?

 

Speaking personally, I would feel very uncomfortable if my boyfriend asked me to loan (give) him thousands of dollars.

 

Why doesn't he himself have the money? Is he just not responsible enough to have saved? So now turns to you, the financially responsible one who *has* saved, for it?

 

You say he has a job, etc, what is going on there?

 

Hell, my ex would have gone to a bank for a loan before he asked me to give it to him...... just out of a sense of pride and respect for me and himself.

 

If you were married, that would be different, but you are not married....

 

I just find this very strange and wondered if you thought about that at all....

[Olly.]

Olly, question for you to think about.

What is bothering you more, the fact he refuses to tell you why he needs the money,

 

OR

 

The fact he asked you for it in the first place?

Definitely the first one!

I don't think their decision regarding the money was right, I would have talked him out of it, but I wouldnt of been questioning our relationship if he'd just told me straight up.

 

Why doesn't he himself have the money? Is he just not responsible enough to have saved? So now turns to you, the financially responsible one who *has* saved, for it?

You say he has a job, etc, what is going on there?

He does have a job yeah. I bring home a little more than he does, and I've had more opportunity to save than he has in the past. BUT he has a decent career and he is financially sound.

He wasn't asking me for all the money, he was asking me for the shortfall ..he'd already offered up any savings he has

 

Hell, my ex would have gone to a bank for a loan before he asked me to give it to him...... just out of a sense of pride and respect for me and himself.

See if he'd got a bank loan behind my back (especially if it was one of these crazy payday loans) I would of gone mental (I did anyway but that would of been an even bigger infiltration of trust)

It would be different if he was like frittering his money away and then running to my door but in a situation like the one where he was in where he really did feel he needed money, I want him to talk to me.

I get that other people would feel differently but I don't need him to be this head of the family type provider or protector. What I need is for him to be completely honest with me so we can deal with life's challenges like a couple, like partners!

 

If you were married, that would be different, but you are not married....

Yeah I guess that's a really valid point! I feel like we've definitely fallen into more of a marriage dynamic, than bf/gf, without actually being married. We live together, my son calls him dad, we raise him together, we have all these plans for the future..

To be honest I didn't think marriage was very far off... But I really don't know what I'd say if he asked now..

 

I just find this very strange and wondered if you thought about that at all....

I guess I haven't really! I guess cause it's not great he'd want me to lend him thousands but cause the drama surrounding that has upset me much more I kind of haven't thought too much about the actual money aspect.

[MrDuck]

Not getting at you Olly, nor am I defending what your bf's done, he was definitely out of line! You have every right to be p!ssed!

 

BUT, the thing is when people post here you always only hear there side. You don't even know them in real life so your whole picture of the situation and circumstances comes from their point of view. This can make the advice skewed because no one has all the facts.

So that said I am going to play devils advocate and go in to bat for the guy slightly.

 

You allude to having trust issues, yeah? I'm going to say that you actually have pretty big trust issues. Until now, how has he dealt with that? Did you honestly just meet and click that easy? Or did he put some serious time into making you feel comfortable?

Cause that doesn't sound like such a bad guy?

 

You say that its him that's been the driving force in your relationship till this point?

If we assume this guy would have options (I don't know)? Then that doesn't sound like a guy that isn't committed to a future with you.

 

He's taken on equal parental responsibilities? Not just living with your son, but being a real dad to him?

Why do that if you don't have a decent heart?

 

Yep he screwed up. Yep I could be taking this all the wrong way and I'm not condoning what he did BUT the best case scenario here is he's a genuinely decent guy, who felt a responsibility to his family, but knew you wouldn't be happy, he was torn, he didn't want to let anyone down, and he made a mistake.

I know your hurting but is it really worth throwing away a good relationship over that??

[mikeylo]

So in his entire family and friends , you are the only one with money ? Something to think about. Your relationship is ONLY 2 years old. What he has now let out is that everytime his family screws up, they will nudge him to get money from you. It's going to get worse.

 

Him trying to distract the issue is not going to solve anything. The foundation is on shaky ground and if it was just between you and him , and he tried to regain your trust ,it could be salvaged but here, it's you against him and his family in the background.

 

You and your son have survived before him, haven't you ?

 

Cheating and money destroy relationships like no other.

[Olly.]

Not getting at you Olly, nor am I defending what your bf's done, he was definitely out of line! You have every right to be p!ssed!

 

BUT, the thing is when people post here you always only hear there side. You don't even know them in real life so your whole picture of the situation and circumstances comes from their point of view. This can make the advice skewed because no one has all the facts.

So that said I am going to play devils advocate and go in to bat for the guy slightly.

 

You allude to having trust issues, yeah? I'm going to say that you actually have pretty big trust issues. Until now, how has he dealt with that? Did you honestly just meet and click that easy? Or did he put some serious time into making you feel comfortable?

Cause that doesn't sound like such a bad guy?

 

You say that its him that's been the driving force in your relationship till this point?

If we assume this guy would have options (I don't know)? Then that doesn't sound like a guy that isn't committed to a future with you.

 

He's taken on equal parental responsibilities? Not just living with your son, but being a real dad to him?

Why do that if you don't have a decent heart?

 

Yep he screwed up. Yep I could be taking this all the wrong way and I'm not condoning what he did BUT the best case scenario here is he's a genuinely decent guy, who felt a responsibility to his family, but knew you wouldn't be happy, he was torn, he didn't want to let anyone down, and he made a mistake.

I know your hurting but is it really worth throwing away a good relationship over that??

 

 

Yeah I take your point! He's a good man. I know that, I do.

Theres a lot of women that would of been interested in him, I didn't make it easy, I do have a guard up and i'm not the easiest person to get to know initially, and he was never deterred. Nothing has ever deterred him and I do honestly believe nothing ever would. I believe he's fully committed.

 

 

I took my son to the shops in the week, and I should of known it would be a total nightmare because everything had been going wrong all day, but I took him and he had a complete meltdown, and I'm normally really chill about anything like that but I was already really stressed and it was really busy and there was this two older ladies just moaning loudly about my son and I was about two seconds away from totally losing it.

And then I saw him walk in the shop to pick us up, and he looked for us, saw us (in the middle of all this commotion) and he beamed. Like not a false smile, but the kind of smile you give your best friend when you go to pick them up from the airport and you haven't seen them for a year. He didn't miss a beat, he walked straight over, he picked my son up off the floor and started to sing to him the way that calms him down.

This women's still moaning about him needed a firm hand or some BS and her friend goes to her 'well there's something wrong with him isn't there' right in front of my son.. and Gee turns round and goes to her "There's nothing wrong with my son. He's just not boring like everyone else. He's special, and it's not his fault you're to blind to see it!

I was just stood there like that's my man, and I f****** love him, I do.

This is a rough patch, but we'll find a way through this, because I love him, and I know he loves me and what we have together is too special not to fight for.

[Olly.]

So in his entire family and friends , you are the only one with money ? Something to think about. Your relationship is ONLY 2 years old. What he has now let out is that everytime his family screws up, they will nudge him to get money from you. It's going to get worse.

They had already pooled any other money.

Yeah that is something to think about.

 

You and your son have survived before him, haven't you ?

Yes and I would make sure we would survive after him.

But I guess sometimes you have to gamble safe to get great don't you. I've always been so focused that I won't be anyone's mug, but I don't want in the process to become someone that's scared to take a chance, which I feel might be what's happening.. because that isn't how i'd want my son to live his life..