Hi guys

[LeaGreenLad88]

Hey guys and Ladies.

 

My first post on this website page forum. so please be gentle lol. Brief introduction I'm 27 and from England.

 

Right about 7 weeks ago I matched with a girl on Tinder. We both started talking to each other after a few days. We instantaneously swapped numbers and so forth. Unfortunately I have had two trips away in thr interim period and she's been doing all manner of weekends shifts with work so meeting had been a difficult thing to organise. A lot of people in these circumstances would completely lose interest and the spark fizzle out. but with us it was quite the opposite. We kept on texting throughout the day and night.

 

We flirted a fair bit. Constant texting and so on. Snapchat etc. We had eventually sorted out to go on our first proper date on Sunday just gone. However on Saturday along with probably 95% of the male population in UK I watched the football (soccer if your american) with a few buddies. But we kept on texting throughout the game and she was at a loose end and I wanted a change of scenery. So I asked if she wanted to meet for a few drinks near to hers.

 

I had been drinking, and whilst I was by no means wasted or overtly drunk, I'd definitely had probably one too many to be on a first date. And stupidly despite meeting her, I had a few more drinks and was starting to feel a bit drunk. Now tbf thr conversation was fine and we got on well and we did have a connection. But I can't help but feel I wasn't in the right state to be out with a girl. My own stupid fault of course.

 

She drove me back to my house. Which was really good of her. I asked if she was happy for a good night kiss. She didn't oblige. Which is fine.I know it's not compulsory for the first time. I didn't worry too much about that.

 

So I left her to drive home and went in thr house. She messaged me shortly after she got in. Joking and jovial enough. Now baring in mind on thr Sunday we were due to go out together. I didn't get a reply from my last message on the Saturday night which again no drama, as she was probably asleep. However she didn't reply at all then on Sunday until much later on. And that was only as a result of me texting her. And her reply was brief. Bit worried. But I didn't let it stress me too much.

 

Then once again yesterday (Monday) nothing all day other than a Snapchat picture msg later in thr afternoon. I replied to her. Exchanged a handful of short messages. I asked her if I'd come on a bit too strong on thr Saturday and apologised for being a bit drunk. She told me it was fine and I was worrying needlessly and it was all good. However that was 24 hours ago (roughly) and I've not heard from her.

 

I've never been considered a really good looking guy. But have always been quite popular with the girls, but as a result of a few bad break ups and a few online mess ups I suffer from a real lack of confidence re dating and stuff. Which probably sounds a bit soft I know. I have really got to know this girl albeit only by phone/txt etc and we've had great chats and flirts and got on really well. I just regret going to see her on Saturday now as opposed to Sunday. When I'd have been sober and been able to drive.

 

I know on one hand she said it was all fine and stop worrying. But conversely there has been hardly any contact in 48 hours. And I don't know if I should just accept defeat and realize she's not interested. I won't lie. This does feel horrible. And a major rejection, but that's life I suppose. But like I say there has been a small bit of contact so I don't know if I should cling to that as a bit of hope.

 

Sorry for thr really long message guys. Would love a female and male POV too if possible. As I say I'm thinking ito not good. But be helpful if anyone else who has ever been in this position could give me their input.

 

Thanks

Jay x

[Toodaloo]

Right then Jay what you do is you phone the girl. You take her out for a nice meal where you pick her up and drop her off like a gent and you do what your Grand parents called Wooing the girl.

 

Sure you goofed. Let it go. Time to show through your actions that you are more than a silly drunk boy...

 

You phone her and you say "right that's it I have been an idiot and now I want to make up for it and take you on a proper date, so give me a night you are free so I can book the table"

 

Good luck!

[LeaGreenLad88]

Right then Jay what you do is you phone the girl. You take her out for a nice meal where you pick her up and drop her off like a gent and you do what your Grand parents called Wooing the girl.

 

Sure you goofed. Let it go. Time to show through your actions that you are more than a silly drunk boy...

 

You phone her and you say "right that's it I have been an idiot and now I want to make up for it and take you on a proper date, so give me a night you are free so I can book the table"

 

Good luck!

 

Hey. Thanks for the response. In my position. Would you call her straight away? Give it another day or so. Sometimes half of my problem is I over think stuff and am too indecisive. I'm really hopeful I can maybe turn things round.

[LeaGreenLad88]

I spoke to her last night. Albeit only by txt. I said I was hoping I'd get another chance to take her out properly. She replied and said that would be great. She'd like to. And that I need to not worry so much. Again though she's not replied to my message since last night.

 

Of course I am happy in thr respect that she said she wants to see me again. And said yes to doing something. That's good news. But still slightly concerned she's taking an eternity to reply. Maybe I should chill out??

[Breakupblues]

I spoke to her last night. Albeit only by txt. I said I was hoping I'd get another chance to take her out properly. She replied and said that would be great. She'd like to. And that I need to not worry so much. Again though she's not replied to my message since last night.

 

Of course I am happy in thr respect that she said she wants to see me again. And said yes to doing something. That's good news. But still slightly concerned she's taking an eternity to reply. Maybe I should chill out??

 

Yeah, I think you should chill out. lol This was a Tinder set up, and you guys are still feeling each other out. The worst thing you can do now, is seem too needy to be in communication with her. When I start dating women, for the first month or two I don't communicate or look for communication sooner than in between 4 to 5 day intervals. I don't see why more can ever be a good thing.

[Zippy2000]

And that I need to not worry so much. Again though she's not replied to my message since last night.

 

 

 

Your texts must come acroess as insecure as she has already mentioned another text fro you not to worry.

 

 

What are you texting her and what do your texts consists of?

 

 

PS. Im from the UK too but north of the border.

[LeaGreenLad88]

Your texts must come acroess as insecure as she has already mentioned another text fro you not to worry.

 

 

What are you texting her and what do your texts consists of?

 

 

PS. Im from the UK too but north of the border.

 

Hi mate. Thankss for the reply. Appreciate it. Funny enough I'm off to Scotland d a week on Friday with my family. Really looking forward to it

 

Back on topic yeah I think your right. I am coming across that way. But to an extent I am a bit insecure with this type of thing. Which I put down to a really bad experience with my last relationship. And then a few Internet catches that haven't quite worked out. I think I should probably just chill a bit more and not be as openly concerned. Let it pan out. Even if it takes a while. Maybe?

 

Like I say she seems happy to go out again. I'm pretty sure she'd tell me straight if she didn't.

[Toodaloo]

Quit the texts use the phone.

 

Chill out and take that girl on a date.

 

Go old skool!

 

Look at it this way. If she doesn't like you as you are its not great loss because you are who you are and no one. I repeat - no one. Can keep up the pretence of being someone else all that long.

 

So you screwed up first meet but lets face it if she can still fancy you when you are drunk as a skunk and being bit of an idiot, well, game on! You have already made a tit of yourself so now you don't need to worry about it and can just have a giggle!

 

Relax, and enjoy and just be yourself. Never mind all the faffing about etc just get on with life and have some fun.

 

She seems like a sweet girl so enjoy her company and see where it goes from there.

 

Good luck!

[LeaGreenLad88]

Quit the texts use the phone.

 

Chill out and take that girl on a date.

 

Go old skool!

 

Look at it this way. If she doesn't like you as you are its not great loss because you are who you are and no one. I repeat - no one. Can keep up the pretence of being someone else all that long.

 

So you screwed up first meet but lets face it if she can still fancy you when you are drunk as a skunk and being bit of an idiot, well, game on! You have already made a tit of yourself so now you don't need to worry about it and can just have a giggle!

 

Relax, and enjoy and just be yourself. Never mind all the faffing about etc just get on with life and have some fun.

 

She seems like a sweet girl so enjoy her company and see where it goes from there.

 

Good luck!

 

Thanks dude.

I know you are right in what your saying re get on the blower to her. But I am not going to push it for another day or so. I'm not wanting to be viewed as obsessive/needy/insecure. Now I accept that of those three.. I probably am a bit insecure. I openlyopenly admit that. So I'm gonna give her some breathing space. And that wayou I'll let her do the initiating.

[LeaGreenLad88]

Oh I should point out my leat message I suggested either a restaurant we both really like. Or a sushi place. That she suggested some weeks ago.

[tndawg]

Man, first impressions do stick, don't they? You have pretty much nailed it. As I guy I know alcohol and first impressions definitely don't mix well (no pun intended). Can you give her some time? Maybe let her make the next contact and see where it goes.

[LeaGreenLad88]

Man, first impressions do stick, don't they? You have pretty much nailed it. As I guy I know alcohol and first impressions definitely don't mix well (no pun intended). Can you give her some time? Maybe let her make the next contact and see where it goes.

 

Hey dude

I gave her that space. It's been 6 days now. And there has been absolutely zero contact. I probably should have followed up with another message in hindsight. I don't know. Maybe I did the right thing. I think I'm deluding myself now if I try and tell myself she's interested. Ah damn. What a load of shiiiiite.

 

I know I ballsed up though. The only real strange part is the fact she said she wanted to go out with me again. And that I was worrying needlessly etc. Her words. Not mine. But when I suggested a few places and ideas. She decides not to reply. Frustrating tbh. If she hasn't any intentions on seeing me again, then why not just say so?

 

Such is life.

[bummer]

Unfortunately she IS saying so through the act of not responding.

 

It's tinder. If you stay on it, do thicken your skin.

 

As one apologizer to another, nothing turns a girl off quite like a guy saying sorry every five seconds. Act confident and you'll be confident. Good luck.