Sammy210 Posted June 14, 2016 Posted June 14, 2016 Today I'm struggling. I spent yesterday in bed sobbing like a toddler in a hissy fit. Proper snot fuelled, could not stop crying for hours & hours. Didn't eat, didn't sleep, just cried. We've been split up 2 months, NC for 3 weeks, occasional messages after that time, met up twice. Yesterday I found out what he'd been telling people about me, I got 4 messages from 'mutual friends' telling me what he thought of me. Because of this, yesterday all my friends told me what they thought of him. He's a douche, he never treated me right. Yesterday it occurred to me we were done. Yesterday hurt more than when we first split. Yesterday, for the first time in 36 years I felt actually broken. I've been hurt about break ups - my marriage broke up slowly, over years, we both realised it was no longer working, I never had the heartbreak. Today I don't know how I'm dealing with it. I've deactivated Facebook, deleted Twitter and blocked him. I asked him on Sunday if he'd been bitching about me, and now heard nothing in 48 hours. I need to not be thinking of him. I need to forget him, but how can I when he was my best friend for 10 years? We spoke EVERY day.
smudge21 Posted June 14, 2016 Posted June 14, 2016 Time to start NC and stick to it. That may seem harsh, but from someone who has truly been where you are, until you 100% go NC and get through that first month, you don't understand the power of it. The fact is, you two have been broken up, but still together. NC means zero contact, even hearing about him. Those little updates can set you back just as much as seeing them in person. Also don't try to force the healing through - it happens when it happens. If you over think it, expect instant results, then you'll only hurt yourself more. No harm in being upset and having bad times, just let them in and work through them. Rant on here if you want. Eventually the bad times will fade and the good will take over. Stay strong. 1
bummer Posted June 14, 2016 Posted June 14, 2016 Honestly I envy that you could cry it out so deeply. I have tried in the last few weeks so I can feel my emotions and let them through more naturally and maybe quickly. But I can't unless someone were to kick my balls literally not just figuratively like my ex did. Hopefully you get to feel anger towards this jerk soon. Tell your friends not to tell you anything anymore. Hopefully knowing the full truth and crushing the false hope will actually push you past attachment and towards moving on. It shattered me learning my ex already had a new guy and that my false hope was really futile. After a few days I knew I was better knowing so I could move on more completely. Take your time. We will listen.
Trinity7 Posted June 14, 2016 Posted June 14, 2016 Unfortunately I don't have any advice really Just wanted to let you know you're not alone. Yesterday was my lowest point as well, and I'll be 36 in a week, so felt a kinship with your post. What an awful thing to have a kinship over! I hope you have friends and family available to talk to, that's what I've been doing. Try to keep busy or distracted when you have the strength. Music sometimes helps me. Reading and posting on breakup forums like this has helped me too. Heartbreak is the worst pain, but I do know from past breakups that it does eventually pass even though it doesn't seem like it will. I'm so sorry you're going through this too. x
Author Sammy210 Posted June 14, 2016 Author Posted June 14, 2016 Unfortunately I don't have any advice really Just wanted to let you know you're not alone. Yesterday was my lowest point as well, and I'll be 36 in a week, so felt a kinship with your post. What an awful thing to have a kinship over! I hope you have friends and family available to talk to, that's what I've been doing. Try to keep busy or distracted when you have the strength. Music sometimes helps me. Reading and posting on breakup forums like this has helped me too. Heartbreak is the worst pain, but I do know from past breakups that it does eventually pass even though it doesn't seem like it will. I'm so sorry you're going through this too. x Thank you! All of my friends were mutual friends, so sadly I'm doing this on my own. With the help of my children, although they will never know why I'm in this much of a mess. I hope you're ok too x
Author Sammy210 Posted June 14, 2016 Author Posted June 14, 2016 Honestly I envy that you could cry it out so deeply. I have tried in the last few weeks so I can feel my emotions and let them through more naturally and maybe quickly. But I can't unless someone were to kick my balls literally not just figuratively like my ex did. Hopefully you get to feel anger towards this jerk soon. Tell your friends not to tell you anything anymore. Hopefully knowing the full truth and crushing the false hope will actually push you past attachment and towards moving on. It shattered me learning my ex already had a new guy and that my false hope was really futile. After a few days I knew I was better knowing so I could move on more completely. Take your time. We will listen. Oh the crying doesn't stop. Sad songs, or just songs in general. I can't stop sobbing at all. You're very kind, thank you. Hope you heal soon
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