BaileyB Posted June 16, 2016 Posted June 16, 2016 I also should mention that my anxiety over this has gone up dramatically since I started a job that has me working away from home 2 full days and nights out of the week, and he is home with my girls on his own. This quote just sent chills down my spine... You are wise to be wary of this man because what you have shared are definitely red flags. And, if you have even the slightest concern that something is amiss, your obligation is to protect your daughters - not this man! This quote sent chills down my spine because you are concerned... And this presents a perfect opportunity. I don't like this at all! 1
Versacehottie Posted June 16, 2016 Posted June 16, 2016 Sorry OP, I am not even sure why you are pondering this whatsoever. You have a parental obligation to your daughter that comes before anything else. What you wrote is creepy and potentially dangerous for her and your other children. Idk, this might be the most disturbing post I've ever read on this site. 2
Space Ritual Posted June 16, 2016 Posted June 16, 2016 Former Illinois Congressman and convicted creep Mel "Did I hit the Lotto" Reynolds would love this thread. I can only say that the part about him giving your daughter a ride at 1 in the morning would have given me pause. More guys than you think would be more than happy to push the envelope if the opportunity arose. I would have to say that if you have concerns that there is no harm in attempting to find out for yourself with a camera or something like that. It's always the ones that seem so incapable of being a creep end up being just that. Better safe than sorry.
SmartDude Posted June 16, 2016 Posted June 16, 2016 I don't think this is a black and white issue yet without more information. Just about any man will be attracted to a good look 17 year old, on some level. The ability to manage those impulses will reveal a man's character. If a man has gone through life without a lot of attention from the oposite sex then yes, a 17 year old girl is some what intimidating. He might act nervous or start combing his hair, or something weird. It could be that living with a 17 year old in the house will be theraputic, and he will get over his fear of "talking to hot women" or whatever. Teenage women/girls are also in a stage of "testing" the limits of their sexual power over men. They are trying to look pretty to see if they are noticed and thus they are constantly seeking validation. Often this validation is sought from the stepdad/boyfriend. An experienced man will know what is going on and be able to give her a positive self image that will help her in her future romantic life. A creep will take this same situation and exploit it for his personal sexual gain.
Rockdad Posted June 16, 2016 Posted June 16, 2016 Blending families has got to be one very tricky art form from what I saw when I served in the family court system for several years. I find it very notable that you are a very attentive and watchful parent. The incident of a year ago of driving your daughter after hours of course was not a good thing as has been said several times. You know men from time to time seem to have to pull a no brainer. I know I put all my heart into treating my wife and kids with honor and respect. But from time to time I too have to pull a stupid man move. Keeping in mind protecting children is of utmost importance also there is a whole lot to be said about a woman's intuition. I see some opinions posted was for you to run, leave ect. But if one did that at every bump in the road where would that leave a person? 1
ChocolateRain Posted June 16, 2016 Posted June 16, 2016 (edited) i totally agree with what have been said about a woman's intuition ... some years back i worked with a woman that had something bad happening to her 12 year old Daughter ( by the Stepdad ) while the woman was at work . She would confide in us and asking us about his suspicious behavior ( dressing more youthful , listening to the same Music as the Girl, buying gifts for the girl , etc etc ) A mothers intuition is no joke ... sure enough a few month later her worst nightmare became true , SEXUAL ASSAULT !!!.... it was a very tragic story and she had a breakdown and never really recovered from it ... needles to say neither did the Girl Please be very very careful ... and i will be honest ...if i were you he would have to pack his Bags and go because he already overstepped his boundaries the minute he picked your daughter without consulting you first . Like he wanted to look cool in your daughters eyes ... Alarm bells ringing .... Maybe it was too soon moving in together (?) Edited June 16, 2016 by ChocolateRain ETA
Cablebandit Posted June 16, 2016 Posted June 16, 2016 Nature makes your daughter attractive to many men of all ages. The_Donald said he'd date his own daughter. Nothing unusual there. He may present himself better groomed for the same reason we clean our house before company comes over. Company doesn't give a crap but we do. If he sees her as a younger version of you, he is going to probably try to subconsciously try and impress the 17 year old you as well. The late night driving may have been a bonehead move that he was talked into by a pretty girl. It happens. We aren't nearly as smart as you women give us credit for and testosterone gets less credit than it deserves at times. He apparently hasn't done anything like that since so consider that. I would keep my eyes and ears open but don't make him a monster before he is actually revealed as one. Accusations like that can scar a man for life even if they aren't true. If your gut tells you that he is a good man, trust it.
GunslingerRoland Posted June 16, 2016 Posted June 16, 2016 I think your concern is more worrying than anything you actually posted, like others have said your intuition as a mother is key. That said, he probably does find your beautiful 17 year old daughter attractive. Most men probably do. When she's 20 most men will probably find her attractive, and if she keeps in shape in 18 years when she is your age, men will still find her attractive. The fact that men find your daughter attractive can't keep you from dating. It's just the reality of having kids that grow up. Your job is to make sure nothing inappropriate is happening or even being considered.
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