It's been 6 months [update: Almost a year being single]

[marikrus]

Idk how to even start this out lol

I was with my ex for 4 years lived together for

3 years of our relationship known him 7 years.

So basically this guy was a huge part of my life, we broke up

in december, he was cheating on me with multiple co- workers.

 

The first couple months were HORRIBLE i mean i totally hit rock bottom,

i couldn't understand why & how this had happened after everything that we had been through how could he just throw something so special away how could he do this to me... Answers i'll never get. It was sooo bad i lost about 15 pounds wouldn't eat for months until it started messing with my health and now i have an actual health condition because of what i went through, this break- up was just the worst break - up anyone could possibly go through.

 

I left him as soon as i found out about him being unfaithful & of course i did everything wrong i begged for him to make things better i wrote him a letter letting him know i'd always be here for him whenever he decided he had made a mistake i went back to the house to try and talk things out but he didn't give a **** about us anymore, for me this guy was my world everything i knew i had no friends only my family which i had left for him biggest mistake of my life!!!! I left my family's house when i had just turned 18 i wanted to be with him ALL the time and i didn't care what i had to do to. Like i said biggest mistake of my life i wish i could go back to that day & just stay there, i am now 22 years old and within those years i did a lot of growing up i was completely alone and only had him, he mentally, physically & emotionally abused me. Of course we had our great moments beautiful moments that i would never take back but the bad out weighs the good now that i look at the bigger picture.

 

Now that its been 6 months i still think of him every single day there isn't a day that goes by that i don't think of him or how he's doing its been about 3 months since we haven't talked and its for the best, a part of me still wishes we were together i wake up in disbelief that this is my life, i got my own apartment so i live alone me going back to my familys house just wasn't an option for me, i feel as if i have to heal alone i know its not the best way but this is what i want i'd feel suffocated over there, i'm independent and i can take care of myself he told me before i left that i wouldn't be able to do this alone and im proving him wrong i can do this alone i can take care of myself i don't need any man i can provide for myself.

 

I cant wait for the day to come when i wake up and he's not on my mind, i've dated guys and i go out all the time to the clubs i love dancing so that's such a stress reliever for me, but at the end of the day there he is on my mind & in my heart even after everything that he's done to me how can i possibly still love this guy? i don't understand.

Sometimes i wish i had a bf to come home to someone to lay with and tell them all my problems but no one gets my attention, yeah theres hundreds of good looking guys out there & yeah they want to hang out but everyone just wants the same thing SEX!

its so hard to make a connection now a days i feel as if i'll never find another guy to make me feel the way he made me feel, with him i was myself he knew my every flaw he knew what made me smile what made my sad he knew me better then i knew myself he was my best friend my shoulder to cry on when i was having a bad day my soul mate the person i thought i would have kids with the person who i would get married to.

( literally in tears as i type this)

Everything happens for a reason & i have to keep my head up.

[kittyxo]

We have the same break up story.. Broke up in December after 5 years together. We would have gotten engaged this year if not next year..

 

I begged and pleaded him just like you did and all he did was tell me "no" and that we would never get back together. He even told me he wanted me to move on and be with someone else.

 

I still remember those cold nights sitting in my car in a parking lot balling my eyes out because I didn't know what I'd do without him.

 

It's been 6 months. I haven't heard from him at all. He hasn't contacted me to say hi or see how I'm doing. I mean why would he anyway. But the fact that he's essentially erased me from his mind and life after 5 years together, disturbs me. I wouldn't say I hate him, but it definitely fuels my anger and resentment towards him..

 

You say that he cheated on you with many co-workers.. that should fuel your resentment towards him.

 

There will come a time when he will realize he threw away the best thing in his life, I promise you.

 

But you need to take some time to yourself, and really keep on being strong for another 6 months, you can do this!

I'm having the same issues trying to find a new relationship, but I feel like God is sending me loser my way for a reason. Not to punish me or anything, but to give me a sign that the only person I should be worrying about is myself. I know I will find someone that loves me more than my ex boyfriend did, I just know it. But the timing is off.

 

Maybe God has a plan for you.. just let go and let god

[marikrus]

Thank you so much for your kind words, I'm so sorry you had to go through something so similar its the hardest thing to go through to think you basically wasted so many years on someone who didn't value you and cherish you.

Its the same for me i remember he called me 2 weeks after we broke up so we can talk i went over and all he did was use me for sex , that same morning i woke up so heartbroken because i knew it fixed nothing and we still weren't getting back together and on top of that i was disgusted with myself how could i give myself to him knowing what he had done to me, i try to not be so hard on myself and understand that i was so vulnerable and all i wanted was for things to go back to normal for us to cuddle in bed and wake up next to each other every morning but there was no going back.

 

But how are you dealing with things ? & do you still think of him ?

 

I hope you are doing well yourself, and getting over that ******* keep your head up you are a queen.

[juniorrocha]

He's the wrong one, he didn't want you back and never came to contact you again. You should be happy you got rid of that *******. That's enough of him to prove that he definitely doesn't love you; and worst, he treated you bad. He didn't even show a lil bit sign of confusion or remorse, apparently.

 

Stay strong, I know how being alone in these situations are hard, I'm going through the same, but as long as you have yourself, you'll be fine in the end. I'm sure soon enough you'll meet someone, you're still very young, don't worry about it, it will happen!

[marikrus]

Its been 4 months without contact & i still wonder if he thinks of me i wonder if he misses me. Unlike other people i'm not the type of person to cyber stalk my ex for me looking at him happy and moving on will only cause me more pain i'd rather not know anything concerning his life if i truly want to be happy & cope with the whole break up some people say "wow your still not over it ?" uhhh no i'm not this isn't just something that i can magically get over its going to take time its been 7 months & no im not as hurt as i was the first couple of months but i am still pretty hurt im slowly & i mean SLOWLY getting over it.

 

I have my moments where i get so mad at the whole situation that i didn't get closure of any type but sometimes you don't need closure his actions were enough closure for me. Then i get my moments where i miss him so much i miss everything we had & i just want to reach out to him crying but i wont i know better & i have more self-respect for myself for me to do that.

its crazy how a part of me still thinks hes going to call me some day asking for forgiveness asking for me back telling me he loves me, i hear there's stages when a couple breaks up Denial, depression, anger, bargaining & acceptance. But for some reason i go through all of them over & over again i have my days when i accept what happened & im okay with it. Then i have my other days when im super depressed and all i want to do is cry i understand this is going to be a looooong process & only time will tell when i'll be 100% over it but for now im not.

[Giggles666]

It's not crazy. There is no standard "getting over time". I was with a woman 13 years and I was over her very quickly. I was with a woman for 3 weeks who I knew 16 years and am still struggling 6 months later.

 

I was at a party, woman disappeared for 6 months with no explanation. I get a text at party and it was her saying she was coming to see me. We talked, I felt better for a day...then I felt 20x worse. She flaked on me again.

 

 

Careful what you wish for.

 

I would say though that exes do think of us, how often and in what frame of mind probably varies.

[marikrus]

Tomorrow marks 10 months of being single , i cant believe its almost going to a be a year that we broke up.

 

At first i couldn't understand why this was happening i couldn't accept the fact that we were officially over & at times i wonder if i'll ever love anyone as much as i loved him... This whole entire time i've been trying to find myself again and truly find happiness i'm finally at a point where i'm happy with everything that's going on i cant express how tough and amazing and eye opening this year has been for me i really cant thank god enough for EVERYTHING he has done and the doors he's closed for me ..

 

Last night i went on a date with an amazing guy someone who makes me so happy i didn't think i could have these feelings again the connection we have is so natural, even if it goes nowhere i'm so thankful i got the opportunity to feel that way again i now know i can find happiness with another person.

[Pipestove]

If someone cheated on me with numerous people, I would hate them and never want to see their face again. As the poster above said, use that as fuel. Mentally forgive him, move on, and realize god/universe will send you someone special when the time is right. I am the type of person that if my GF even made out with another man while with me Id kick her to the curb. I dont play those games. If she/he even kissed someone else, they're likey to do it again, or even worse. I wish you the best of luck.

 

Just so you know, I suffer from BDD. I was single for almost 7 years after almost a 6 year relationship. There is nothing wrong with being single. So try and not count the months/days. I was my own best friend when I was single. I took care of my body, made money, and had a pretty good time for someone who suffers from mental disorders. Now im heart broken after a 2 year relationship, fat, unhealthy, kinda broke, and unhappy.

 

 

Work on yourself, believe in yourself, and most importantly be STRONG.

 

Good luck