MissBee Posted June 21, 2016 Share Posted June 21, 2016 For me, I can never reconcile the idea that when people talk about leagues they are talking about looks only. That has never made sense to me. I appreciate a good looking man like everyone else, but this idea that looks mean anything more than, you happen to look that way and that's it, is very odd to me. I more consider leagues to include other areas. Not to say that status, socioeconomics, intelligence etc are more justified reasons, but I do think they make a bigger impact on the quality of your relationship than looks. I have found more problems dating people where our "leagues" were mismatched in terms of education, intelligence, things like that, than whether or not they were more good looking than I was or vice-versa. In fact, it's a lot more objective to measure league in terms of things like status, education, intellect etc...it is evident if one has more or less education, more or less status, more or less money, different backgrounds, different lifestyles than it is to 100% agree on whether you're aligned in terms of being in the same "looks league." 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Larryville Posted June 21, 2016 Author Share Posted June 21, 2016 For me, I can never reconcile the idea that when people talk about leagues they are talking about looks only. That has never made sense to me. I appreciate a good looking man like everyone else, but this idea that looks mean anything more than, you happen to look that way and that's it, is very odd to me. I more consider leagues to include other areas. Not to say that status, socioeconomics, intelligence etc are more justified reasons, but I do think they make a bigger impact on the quality of your relationship than looks. I have found more problems dating people where our "leagues" were mismatched in terms of education, intelligence, things like that, than whether or not they were more good looking than I was or vice-versa. In fact, it's a lot more objective to measure league in terms of things like status, education, intellect etc...it is evident if one has more or less education, more or less status, more or less money, different backgrounds, different lifestyles than it is to 100% agree on whether you're aligned in terms of being in the same "looks league." For me personally when I posted this I was absolutely NOT only thinking about looks. I stated earlier: Wife # 2 polar opposite, smart (I mean Mensa member smart) funny, great career, successful, lit up a room. If there is such a thing as “leagues” on paper I will be honest I would not be in her “league.” Looks wise she was a 7, but again what made her more attractive was her style of dress, her personality as I said she lit up a room. Before she became an attorney she was a theater major, was in all sorts of theatrical performances. Was an amazing cook, amazing singer, very kind open, engaged… my point is many of the things I am not. It was her entire persona, the complete person. I have come across a lot of attractive women who are frankly stupid, shallow, selfish, vacant, uninspiring and clueless about the world around them. While they might be adequate one night stands not someone I would waste a moment of my time for, so a 9 or 10 easily becomes a 7 or 6. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Springsummer Posted June 21, 2016 Share Posted June 21, 2016 My first wife was very “beautiful”, much older (9 years) I thought I was dating out of my league (as a 19 year old) simply because she was so attractive. But at the time she had two kids was struggling financially, working two jobs and at the time she did not have a ton of self-esteem. She was always telling me how wonderful I was. Second wife, attractive (again much older) high profile state attorney, very popular with colleagues friends with high profile politicians ect again I thought I was dating “out of my league” AND her high profile friends wondered why she was with me, but we were highly compatible, as good a match as two people could be. I guess about getting past the superficial. Is what truly matters. Just curious...you don't mind woman much older than you? and wondering who did the pursuing? I was told older women should never pursue younger guys. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Larryville Posted June 21, 2016 Author Share Posted June 21, 2016 Just curious...you don't mind woman much older than you? and wondering who did the pursuing? I was told older women should never pursue younger guys. Well wife #1 I met on a blind date that I was BEGGED into going on. When we met I had absolutely no idea about age. She looked like a teenager, tiny 4’ 9” tall maybe 90 pounds. I did not find out about her age until our 3RD or 4th date I think… Wife #2 I met on the old Love@aol this was when OLD was very new and was free. She wrote this long amazing profile. Pic did not look her age and she looked better in person. I was not trying to pursue older women then, my main criteria was I did not want to date anyone with “young” kids I mean pre-teen or anyone with more than one kid. The other thing I remember at that time those I met were frankly silly for lack of a better term I’m 36 or so, women still wanting to go to clubs and that stuff and that is so not me. I will add that both were VERY reluctant to date me, took a lot of conversations. As for whether or not women should date younger guys, I don't know really depends on the mindset of the guy. Since my divorce 6 years almost in this dating cycle, the only true relationship I've had was with someone 5 years younger. Dated someone else 10 years younger... everyone else has been older from my age 52 to 60. But will say if I'm dating someone that much older that must be very active. Some people just frankly age better than others. Link to post Share on other sites
Springsummer Posted June 21, 2016 Share Posted June 21, 2016 Just curious...you don't mind woman much older than you? and wondering who did the pursuing? I was told older women should never pursue younger guys. Well wife #1 I met on a blind date that I was BEGGED into going on. When we met I had absolutely no idea about age. She looked like a teenager, tiny 4’ 9” tall maybe 90 pounds. I did not find out about her age until our 3RD or 4th date I think… Wife #2 I met on the old Love@aol this was when OLD was very new and was free. She wrote this long amazing profile. Pic did not look her age and she looked better in person. I was not trying to pursue older women then, my main criteria was I did not want to date anyone with “young” kids I mean pre-teen or anyone with more than one kid. The other thing I remember at that time those I met were frankly silly for lack of a better term I’m 36 or so, women still wanting to go to clubs and that stuff and that is so not me. I will add that both were VERY reluctant to date me, took a lot of conversations. As for whether or not women should date younger guys, I don't know really depends on the mindset of the guy. Since my divorce 6 years almost in this dating cycle, the only true relationship I've had was with someone 5 years younger. Dated someone else 10 years younger... everyone else has been older from my age 52 to 60. But will say if I'm dating someone that much older that must be very active. Some people just frankly age better than others. wow...how can someone who's 4'9 and 90lb be very beautiful? maybe we have different standard of beauty? I am 5'2 and I consider that my biggest shortcoming. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Larryville Posted June 22, 2016 Author Share Posted June 22, 2016 Small stature Puerto Rican, also lifted weights, was not skinny, grey green eyes and an amazing smile. Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted June 22, 2016 Share Posted June 22, 2016 wow...how can someone who's 4'9 and 90lb be very beautiful? maybe we have different standard of beauty? I am 5'2 and I consider that my biggest shortcoming. Many men actually prefer very petite women.... find them extremely feminine and sexy, especially if she has a smokin bod and beautiful face... You are obviously meeting the wrong men.... if your height is the concern. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Springsummer Posted June 22, 2016 Share Posted June 22, 2016 Many men actually prefer very petite women.... find them extremely feminine and sexy, especially if she has a smokin bod and beautiful face... You are obviously meeting the wrong men.... if your height is the concern. how can that be? short people will have short legs, right? everyone loves long legs, right? Link to post Share on other sites
Springsummer Posted June 22, 2016 Share Posted June 22, 2016 my main criteria was I did not want to date anyone with “young” kids I mean pre-teen or anyone with more than one kid. but you ended up married someone who already had 2 kids with wife#1. wow...that woman was that attractive! she made you changed your mind completely. Link to post Share on other sites
MrBump Posted June 22, 2016 Share Posted June 22, 2016 how can that be? short people will have short legs, right? everyone loves long legs, right? I'm 6'4" and my girlfriend is 5'1".... I find the combination of cuteness and sexiness irresistible! Petite women are awesome. They're extremely feminine and 'girly' which is what a heck of a lot of men find attractive. Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted June 22, 2016 Share Posted June 22, 2016 Well there is petite and there is 4'9''. That's the size of a child. Link to post Share on other sites
OneLov Posted June 22, 2016 Share Posted June 22, 2016 I'm 6'4" too. The shortest I've dated is 5'2". Height doesnt matter per se (isn't Kim Kardashian 5'2"?!?). But as a practical matter, it's not the best for your posture. Lol. Jk:laugh: 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Larryville Posted June 22, 2016 Author Share Posted June 22, 2016 Well E, she is #13 out of 14 siblings (she was adopted by American couple as a baby) biological family all small stature. Tallest brother is only 5’6” My daughters 5’0” and 5’2” Shaquille O'Neal former NBA player is 7’ 2” and his wife (not sure if still married) is 5’3” Did not fall for her because of her height, I guess I’m the type of dude who don’t have a “type” I’ve dated someone who was 6’ I’m 5’10” Link to post Share on other sites
SwordofFlame Posted June 22, 2016 Share Posted June 22, 2016 how can that be? short people will have short legs, right? everyone loves long legs, right? I've never heard a guy say she's too short or too small for me. Link to post Share on other sites
mikeylo Posted June 22, 2016 Share Posted June 22, 2016 Not all petite women are feminine. I'm surprised that some guys like feminine women as most of the women you see these days are loud , fast , extroverts , pushing boundaries. Don't get to see feminine women often anyway. Maybe they get overshadowed by the loud ones. But I remember in my younger days , I used to chase the loud, over confident ones. The society has pushed women ( not starting any debate here ,lol ) to be extrovert and hence they are confirming to the demands. Some choose to not give in to the conformity and stay true to themselves and embrace their feminity. I've usually seen a feminine woman with an opposite , masculine guy. Something at works there ! Link to post Share on other sites
mikeylo Posted June 22, 2016 Share Posted June 22, 2016 how can that be? short people will have short legs, right? everyone loves long legs, right? No. There are women who are tall -- long legs , long arms and ultra thin. They look like a stick walking around with huge make up. They give out an impression of being confident etc but they usually have low self esteem and body issues. Sometimes you see the above with a boob job done. That makes the fake boobs stand out from the rest of the ultra thin body. Again, body issues but projecting a confident image. An average height with some flesh , a charming personality wins everytime over any of the above. Fake confidence hidden within the ultra thin , huge boobs is nothing but an attraction killer. Some guys get sucked up in the fakeness for a while. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Larryville Posted June 22, 2016 Author Share Posted June 22, 2016 my main criteria was I did not want to date anyone with “young” kids I mean pre-teen or anyone with more than one kid. but you ended up married someone who already had 2 kids with wife#1. wow...that woman was that attractive! she made you changed your mind completely. I'm confused Summer, want to clarify, you did understand that I was 19 she was 29 when we met. That was 31 years ago. My "current" criteria, I'm 52 is don't want to date someone with young kids, multiple kids... been there done that... Whoever I date I want it to be exclusively about "us" Link to post Share on other sites
Springsummer Posted June 22, 2016 Share Posted June 22, 2016 I'm confused Summer, want to clarify, you did understand that I was 19 she was 29 when we met. That was 31 years ago. My "current" criteria, I'm 52 is don't want to date someone with young kids, multiple kids... been there done that... Whoever I date I want it to be exclusively about "us" Ok. I get it. you didn't mind previously, but now you don't want it. Thanks for the clarification. Link to post Share on other sites
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