lf9022 Posted June 13, 2016 Posted June 13, 2016 I feel extremely alone. I have friends, but I'm always plan b or c. The little friends that I have are either getting married so they are beginning to start their own life which is understandable. I feel extremely alone & I decided to cope with this with a hobby which is working out. I feel my happiest, well, normal, while I'm at the gym. I am addicted to working out & being fit. Once I leave the gym, I begin to feel sad, alone, & that turns into anger. I scream at my parents for every little thing, little things cause me to feel such anger, & I feel like this is destroying my friendship with my mom. Aside from working out, all I want to do is sleep. I don't have any motivation for anything else. I had a huge breakup years ago that messed with my head & lead to alcohol & just habits that I wish to keep for myself. One thing I did notice is that my trust with people diminished which I know is the problem. Anybody on the same boat & how did you cope with this? I really don't want to be angry no more. I feel I disguise my sadness with anger. I just want a bit of advice. Thank you.
juniorrocha Posted June 13, 2016 Posted June 13, 2016 Do you still have feelings for your ex? Are you both NC, which means no stalking or keeping up with how their life is going? Also, how old are you? Do you have a job or are you graduating on something? Think of a career you would like to have for yourself and work towards being great at that. This is obvious: occupy your mind with things that make you feel good. Working out can't be the only thing that can do that. Try new hobbies, a new sport. Do you like painting? Maybe volunteer somewhere? You should consider seeing a psychologist. We all have been betrayed at some point of our lives, but we have to let that go away so we can allow new things to come. It's hard, but it's possible. The first step is to keep your life filled with things you enjoy and you can only find out what is enjoyable for you once you try these things out. Think of something and go for it. Anything!
smudge21 Posted June 13, 2016 Posted June 13, 2016 Often when we become a plan b with friends it's down to how we've been with them in past. I have friends who I consider a plan b and it's not because I don't like them, but the amount of times I've had to do all the work and make all the effort to get them out, after a while I just think screw it and leave the door open for them to come to me. Maybe throughout your past problems you did, unintentionally, push your friends away. In regards your current problems, you can't deal with these by hiding away from them - working out and sleeping, is never going to magically make them go away. You need to talk to someone, get some professional advice. Seeing your doctor is a first step. We all go through times in our lives when things just seem to be falling apart. Many of us try to work through it but it only ends up popping up later on in life. No shame in feeling the way you are and nothing wrong in asking for help. I've been there, as I'm sure many on here have.
gracelight935 Posted June 14, 2016 Posted June 14, 2016 Have you looked for meetup groups in your area? There are many groups that meet with people who share a common interest- hiking, going to movies, playing video games, sports, etc. It's great you take care of yourself physically, but there's emotional and mental support that come from belonging to a group of people with common interests. You likely work out alone, but these groups force interaction, which may be good for you. Have you talked with your mom about your feelings- doing this will help her to understand why you've been so upset lately, but it will also open the door to getting real help for depression. She can help set a doctor appt for you- there are amazing medications these days that help shake off the sadness. Do you belong to a church? Most churches offer free counseling or mentorship- if you don't feel comfortable talking with your mom, a church may be a good, private option. Blessings to you- chin up!
Author lf9022 Posted June 17, 2016 Author Posted June 17, 2016 I been single for a while due to trust issues & past relationships. I'm always angry because I hide my sadness with anger. I know it's not a good thing to do, but this drives me nuts. All of my friends are at that age where they are getting married. I tried meeting new people, but it just doesn't work out. For example, I met a girl who I would speak to occasionally. After speaking for a bit, getting her number, I asked her on a date. It was a no. I was OK with it, I guess. Until I found out that she said no because she was into my friend. This is literally my luck. I don't know why. When I get rejected, I always think to myself: fine, their lost. Also, I tried to see what I can improve on to become a better version of myself. I'm just upset because It's not like I don't try. I do! Today, I was in my car going home & all I did was scream! It bothers me that my friends all go out & bring their girlfriend/boyfriend and I'm just there. It got to the point where they just leave me out of it. Don't get me wrong, I do try meeting new people but even when I met somebody, talk to them, get to know them, it just doesn't work out. I have friends, family, yet I feel so lonely! I go home & I'm mad! Even though I don't want to, I gave up on love. It's been years since my last relationship. That girl broke up with me over the phone and gave me no reason & hung up. I didn't find out why till a year later due to a mutual friend telling me she found a guy with money. I was in college at the time. Sorry this is all over the place. I'm just upset as I write this. I just want to know how to cope! I hate being angry all the time.
JuanDelToro Posted June 17, 2016 Posted June 17, 2016 There`s no such thing as luck, we create our reality and in extend our `luck`. If you believe that you can't find woman or the ones that you will find are going to reject you, then that's all you're going to get. It's a self-fulfilling prophesy. Apart from that, you are fixated with the whole relationship, marriage,commitment thing. So what if your friends are getting married or are in relationships? I guarantee you that as much as you envy them because they have a steady partner, they envy you twice as much because you`re a free bird. Think about it for a minute. You`re free to do whatever you want, live by your rules and schedule, date whoever you want and as many as you want, while your life is drama free. Settling down with someone has to come naturally, it shouldn't become a quest. It certainly doesn't work that way, or at least it won't work in your favor when forcing things. Your problem is the negative mindset, attachment to outcome and fear of being alone. What you should do, is to realize the benefits and learn to be happily single, follow your own path and go after bigger goals, approach lot's of women with the intention to just have fun, have fun even if you get rejected. For every 10 women you approach, you`ll attract 1 (high attraction), no matter of pick-up skill level That`s is the 10% rule and it is extremely accurate. Do your math. Relax, take it easy and don't beat yourself up. 3
bummer Posted June 17, 2016 Posted June 17, 2016 Other outlets for your anger and ways of dealing with obsessive feelings are the wheelhouse of therapists. We can all tell you to stop fixating on dating woes as you are clearly conscious of your anger from it, but I think working through this on a deeper level with someone professional one on one may be right. Otherwise just keep working out, try being a nice well-adjusted person, and respect your mother.
kristyxxbrickley24 Posted June 30, 2016 Posted June 30, 2016 (edited) I feel extremely alone. I have friends, but I'm always plan b or c. The little friends that I have are either getting married so they are beginning to start their own life which is understandable. I feel extremely alone & I decided to cope with this with a hobby which is working out. I feel my happiest, well, normal, while I'm at the gym. I am addicted to working out & being fit. Once I leave the gym, I begin to feel sad, alone, & that turns into anger. I scream at my parents for every little thing, little things cause me to feel such anger, & I feel like this is destroying my friendship with my mom. Aside from working out, all I want to do is sleep. I don't have any motivation for anything else. I had a huge breakup years ago that messed with my head & lead to alcohol & just habits that I wish to keep for myself. One thing I did notice is that my trust with people diminished which I know is the problem. Anybody on the same boat & how did you cope with this? I really don't want to be angry no more. I feel I disguise my sadness with anger. I just want a bit of advice. Thank you. Omg I feel the same. But I was angry first. Now I'm sad. I almost cried today at work so i said whatever.. That's what I'm going to do when I'm back. Cry it out. I feel your pain. I lived with him and I'm going back to stay with my overbearing parents for a bit until I can save enough money for my own place. Btw, if u want someone to talk to, I am here u can pm me or we can exchange info. Edited June 30, 2016 by kristyxxbrickley24 Addition 1
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