Is it normal to find a sibling's partner very attractive?

[CarolineWinds]

I've always had a crush on my sister's partner and still find him very attractive. I don't know if this is common though. My older sister has been engaged for four months now. They have been together for 7 years.

 

The very first time I met him, I felt butterflies on my stomach (I was then two months weeks shy of my 15th b-day). I would sometimes dream about going to a restaurant with him once. In my dream, we would be talking and talking, then he would tell ''what would you like me to order for you'', etc.

 

Years later, even though I'm dating someone else and wish my sister the best in her wedding, I can't deny still finding him very attractive. He's the type of guy most girl would also want in personality (good looking, serious, mature, likes kids, etc).

 

Our ages are now respectively 27, 26 and 22.

[CarolineWinds]

Mind you but these are just my thoughts. I have no intention of ever turning them into actions. In addition, he loves my sister a lot and girls much younger than him aren't his type, much less if she was a minor at the time. My sister comes first but I can't help who I'm attracted to. I see him as the most attractive guy (both physically and in personality) I've ever met.

 

I admit sometimes I felt bad because whenever I had sex with a past bf, I would get turn on by thinking about him. Never told this to my sister though. I've always kept those thoughts inside me since my freshman year of HS. Is this normal or do I need to find a way to stop thinking about him?

Edited June 13, 2016 by CarolineWinds

[jen1447]

It's normal enough, and I doubt you'd find a way to stop thinking about him anyway. Usually doesn't work like that.

 

Look at it this way - there's nothing biologically preventing you from feeling attraction to this guy. Whether or not he's your sister's partner is irrelevant - in the natural world, you'd find him a suitable mate. That's all. So in that sense it's perfectly natural.

 

Culture adds another dimension but even that doesn't particularly forbid you finding him attractive, just that you don't act on it.

 

So on other words, don't worry about it. (But keep keeping it in your pants. )

[CarolineWinds]

Thank you jen1447.

For one second, I felt bad for even having him in my dreams and fantasies but you're right, you just can't help who you're attracted to.

 

I still have my big, old private journal dated from 2009-2011, in which it would include my HS life, my dates and towards the end of every entries, I would ended with a poem about him.

Edited June 13, 2016 by CarolineWinds

[fands]

Try not to dwell on it--you're probably making things harder for yourself. It's great to reminisce about the past, but things happened as they happened. We also tend to sugar-coat the past--at least the parts we care to remember.

 

Time to write a poem about something else, perhaps? Haha.

[DKT3]

As much as we would like to think we are so different then our siblings we really aren't.

 

So its highly likely that you would find your sisters husband attractive, but I'm guessing it's really more of what he represents then it is him. You see how well he treats your sister, you see they have a wonderful thing going and its what you want, not him.

 

I hope so anyway

[Liam1]

I've always had a crush on my sister's partner and still find him very attractive. I don't know if this is common though. My older sister has been engaged for four months now. They have been together for 7 years.

 

The very first time I met him, I felt butterflies on my stomach (I was then two months weeks shy of my 15th b-day). I would sometimes dream about going to a restaurant with him once. In my dream, we would be talking and talking, then he would tell ''what would you like me to order for you'', etc.

 

Years later, even though I'm dating someone else and wish my sister the best in her wedding, I can't deny still finding him very attractive. He's the type of guy most girl would also want in personality (good looking, serious, mature, likes kids, etc).

 

Our ages are now respectively 27, 26 and 22.

 

Caroline:

 

It is very normal to be attracted to a sibling's or best friend's partner, and more common than we know because most people do not talk about it.

 

The reason is likely that you and your sibling or best friend have similar taste in partners and have a lot in common in general.