What is Love To You?

[todreaminblue]

Great post Deb - yes I agree to love fully is incredibly courageous and the fear that love will be lost is in us all. But to step away from finding love, because of fear is never okay. And A LOT of people do exactly that. They're not willing to go all in. And you absolutely have to expose everything and be completely vulnerable to experience true love (both giving and receiving). Fear prevents that. Indifference (as you describe it) is just numbness - it is neither love nor fear. It is what people strive for when fear wins. They'd rather be numb, than be afraid. Fear is the opposite of love. Numbness is a defense mechanism against fear.

 

 

thanks weezy...smilin...i really dont agree or cant...more likely cant agree with this....

Fear is the opposite of love. Numbness is a defense mechanism against fear.

 

 

 

i know fear......

 

and what is a defense mechanism against fear....is hyper vigilance......not numbness.....

 

 

numbness happens when you accept negativity as truth when you know its going to go bad no matter what.....and you honestly dont care anymore there is no fear anymore...fear is passed and gone as is everything......

 

i have been in both states...hyper vigilant...and numb...

 

numbness comes when you accept you are going to get hurt no matter what you do...numbness allows you simply to exist and nothing more.....

 

hyper vigilance...is where every sense you have is deciding your moves.....happens in and at the height of fear....you become more...instinctually based...relying on what you know and feel....to determine how you act in the unknown..and its scary ...but the drive to survive is strong...in love...in life....

 

numbness...has no care ....no drive.....its acceptance of the inevitable...there is no fear...no love no hate.and no action...but simply an existence to be acted upon........deb

Edited June 19, 2016 by todreaminblue

[Liam1]

Love is an emotion. From a purely biological perspective, love is the emotion that drives us towards and rewards us for behaviors that encourage our reproductive success. The strongest love we feel is almost always either familial, romantic or friendship based.

 

 

Actually, most psychologists and scientists do not agree that love is an emotion.

 

It's feeling or drive but it is not an emotion. Google it.

[Eternal Sunshine]

I agree with posts that say acceptance and total care about someone's wellbeing. I have never had a man feel that way about me. It was all about their self gratification.

[Buddhist]

I think I'm leaning towards this....

 

Love is the act of appreciating someone, and being absent of expectations

[bummer]

I've been on a journey of intimacy with self if you like, and it's brought up a lot of questions for me. I'll be honest intimacy with self can be a hellish journey, you can't even get to touch the real you until you pass the gatekeepers which are fear.

 

 

Lost in fear. --- 10

 

No seriously, I find much of your anguish hard to read given the great advice you give. I'm sorry. I see a lot of fixation on ego, self, material entities, good deeds, but not on letting go.

 

If it helps, remember the only truth is ever changing impermenance. This includes love as you wrote which seems transactional and fleeting. Love is not eternal. It is part of the ego at the end of the day.

Edited June 30, 2016 by bummer

[newheart]

This has been a wonderful read. I think love is something different to each of us.

 

To me, love is deep, yet simultaneously simple: The motivation and desire to finally face what were previously debilitating fears with the realization that the reward far outweighs the risk; at the same time as simple of an emotion as just looking at him doing absolutely nothing at all and feeling the surge of overwhelming joy.

[dichotomy]

I think many of us have been tending towards romantic or partnership love.... but until I had a child I never understood unconditional, deeply connected, all encompassing love.