katiegrl Posted June 14, 2016 Posted June 14, 2016 I am with you. I have said the same words , and have heard them "I would die for you!" I agree, that I don't know if it's necessarily healthy, but it conveyed the depth of emotion. Of course, if they loved you, they would never allow you to take that risk for them. Thank you RC, I thought I was going to get beat up for that comment....
Lady Hamilton Posted June 14, 2016 Posted June 14, 2016 Love is like colors. Even if you're all looking at the exact same color purple, you will all see a slightly different hue. You don't know what makes it purple, but you know it is purple. And even if all agree it's purple, it's impossible to describe how the purple you see is different than the purple I see, even if we are looking at the same thing. So love is unique, individual, filtered through our perceptions, yet we still know it when we see it. 3
seren Posted June 14, 2016 Posted June 14, 2016 For me, the love I have for my son is such that I would gladly give my life for him. From the first moment we met my job has been to ensure he had a safe place, that he knew I had his back, always and while I might not like what he had done, my love was there for always. He calls me his go to person. For my husband, people say there is no such thing as love at first sight, I was one of them. Then 30+ yrs ago I saw him in a bar in Germany and just thought, oh there you are. Seems he thought the same, I always knew we would be together and even through the worse of times, neither of us could imagine life without the other. Not because we needed each other, but because we wanted each other, warts and all. Funny thing was, through family history I find out his ancestor lodged with mine and we came from nowhere near each other. Even had H and I split up, I would have loved him, had his back and even had I found someone else, he would still be the one. Rainbows and unicorns love is lovely, the early days is exciting, but, the latter years have been the best. Love is like fine wine, it gets better the more it matures and the tough times are those that tell you how strong and enduring it is. I look across at him sleeping, snoring gently with his little Buddha belly and still see the most beautiful man. Nothing can change that. He says he still sees me as I always was, despite steroid induced weight gain and not being able to walk far or do as I used to. He has been with me to more emergency hospital appointments than I can count and my thought is always to let him know he is loved and to worry how he would cope without me. Love if reciprocal is a wonderful, wonderful thing that doesn't need shouting from the rooftops, but is at its best when you look back and can still smile. We dance to the music in our heads and we still hold hands, he still brings me the first violets and if that isn't love, well I don't know what is. 2
Liam1 Posted June 14, 2016 Posted June 14, 2016 Buddhist: Self sacrifice is not necessarily love, although sometimes it may indicate love. Soldiers and police and fire fighters often risk or sacrifice their own lives to save strangers and that is not love. So, what is love? I think it is something different for each person. Society has certain mandates to describe love, and so does Hollywood but IMO, love is unique to each individual or couple. I do not think we can describe an emotion like love because everyone feels emotions differently and internally and no one else can experience what they are experiencing when they feel love. I've been going through some intense stuff recently that has really taken me deep into the heart of my own shadows. And I came to the realisation today that actually, I don't know what love is. And I certainly have no idea where to go about finding it either. The only thing I'm really clear on is.... Love is not an negotiated arrangement where two people come together, hash out their wants and needs and then agree to stick by some arbitrary rules before they eventually get sick of each other and leave. Or one person breaks said rules and then leaves. No offence to LS or the people who give their time and energy here. But the more I witness the typical evolution of relationships the more I feel that actually they are just arrangements that will inevitably fail. Whether they fail this year, next year or 20yrs from now. The chances of it failing are really high. But it's not just the chance of failure that puts me off, it's the implied negotiations and manipulations that such arrangements typically require. They just seem to have nothing at all to do with real intimacy with another person. From the early stages of dating to the inevitable bumps in the road. The fact that more people turn to internet strangers/paid strangers in the guise of counsellors than to their actual SO's is pretty telling of just how much intimacy they've managed to create in these arrangements. Close to none. Anyway, just hashing out some random thoughts of my own, feel free to join in or not.
fands Posted June 15, 2016 Posted June 15, 2016 the chance of us all I think that describes love beautifully. Bravo! 1
Haydn Posted June 15, 2016 Posted June 15, 2016 Being locked out of both bathrooms. On a regular basis. 3
Haydn Posted June 15, 2016 Posted June 15, 2016 You must have a bladder of steel. Like the Royal family, they never go... hence the facial expressions. When i do get in there, it`s like a rain forest..... Sorry OP.
Toodaloo Posted June 15, 2016 Posted June 15, 2016 Its far too complex to put a limit on its description. Take my father. Right now he is behaving like a complete an utter idiot. He is refusing to listen to reason. So its causing arguments. Now the reason why he is behaving the way he is (which is making him ill which we are all worried about) is because he is deeply upset about my brother so is attempting to lavish his "love" on me so he doesn't loose his other child... Because I am aware of this I am trying to be patient but he is causing havoc and damage to himself... I love my Poppa and quite frankly if I have to hurt him in order to stop him hurting himself then I will... There are also different types of love and ways of love. I love my dog but its different in the way in which I love my Father, which in turn is different in the way in which I would love a partner... So I will simply say that love is complex. It should be given and accepted without judgement or selfish intentions in which ever form it takes. Haydn has obviously been doing his pelvic floors...
Liam1 Posted June 17, 2016 Posted June 17, 2016 Anyway, just hashing out some random thoughts of my own, feel free to join in or not. Well, if reality as we know it is just an illusion. Perhaps love is simply an illusion, too. Then too there are scientists who believe that love is just a chemical reaction. Nothing more, nothing less. ...scientists have observed that a chemical called oxytocin is involved in developing a bond between a mother and her young. Professor Young believes it is very likely that a similar process is going on in humans. "It's just that when we experience these emotions they are so rich we can't imagine that they are just a series of chemical events," he said. But even if that is true of maternal love, is romantic love simply down to a squirt of oxytocin and a few other love chemicals at a timely moment? Professor Young thinks it might be. Intense bonds Researchers have found that oxytocin is involved in the bonding of male and the female prairie voles, which like humans, form an intense bond with each other that lasts for a very long time. nd there have been studies in humans that show that oxytocin increases trust - the ability to read the emotions of others. So, Professor Young argues that it makes sense that the same sort of molecule might be involved in strengthening the bond between individuals. 1
bachdude Posted June 17, 2016 Posted June 17, 2016 Well, if reality as we know it is just an illusion. Perhaps love is simply an illusion, too. Then too there are scientists who believe that love is just a chemical reaction. Nothing more, nothing less. Yes, the chemicals and oxytocin may create a bond but that's not the whole story. Someone can feel bonded to another because of oxytocin but be utterly selfish. The bond alone is not love. Scientists can't explain love by pure hormones unless they want to turn us into robots. 1
Liam1 Posted June 17, 2016 Posted June 17, 2016 Yes, the chemicals and oxytocin may create a bond but that's not the whole story. Someone can feel bonded to another because of oxytocin but be utterly selfish. The bond alone is not love. Scientists can't explain love by pure hormones unless they want to turn us into robots. Hi Bachdude: Perhaps you are right. I am not professing to have proven answers. I do not have a clue what love is. I am just posting the theories and hypotheses of scientists and psychologists and sociologists for Buddhist to ponder. With that said, maybe we are just all living on someone's hard drive as socially engineered characters in a computer program, somewhere, doing or thinking only what the programmer or software designer wants us to do or think. Maybe none of us actually exists in the real world. Just something else think about.
Larryville Posted June 17, 2016 Posted June 17, 2016 Love is completely accepting the person that they are, not wishing to change them into someone or something else or any reason. For any "Love" stuff Google Dr. Helen Fisher She is a Biological Anthropologist Here is one of her Ted Talks
Satu Posted June 18, 2016 Posted June 18, 2016 Love is life. Where there is no love, there is no life. 2
katiegrl Posted June 18, 2016 Posted June 18, 2016 Love is life. Where there is no love, there is no life. That is so profound... 1
bachdude Posted June 18, 2016 Posted June 18, 2016 Hi Bachdude: Perhaps you are right. I am not professing to have proven answers. I do not have a clue what love is. I am just posting the theories and hypotheses of scientists and psychologists and sociologists for Buddhist to ponder. Yes, I realize you were not necessarily espousing that view. Thank you for the clarification, though! I just wanted to give my 2¢ worth on that particular view. With that said, maybe we are just all living on someone's hard drive as socially engineered characters in a computer program, somewhere, doing or thinking only what the programmer or software designer wants us to do or think. Maybe none of us actually exists in the real world. Just something else think about. Possible, yes. Likely? Most likely not.
Jabron1 Posted June 18, 2016 Posted June 18, 2016 (edited) Well, if reality as we know it is just an illusion. Perhaps love is simply an illusion, too. Doolittle: Hello, Bomb? Are you with me? Bomb #20: Of course. Doolittle: Are you willing to entertain a few concepts? Bomb #20: I am always receptive to suggestions. Doolittle: Fine. Think about this then. How do you know you exist? Bomb #20: Well, of course I exist. Doolittle: But how do you know you exist? Bomb #20: It is intuitively obvious. Doolittle: Intuition is no proof. What concrete evidence do you have that you exist? Bomb #20: Hmmmm.....well.....I think, therefore I am. Doolittle: That's good. But how do you know that anything else exists? Bomb #20: My sensory apparatus reveals it to me. Doolittle: How do you know that the evidence your sensory apparatus reveals to you is correct? The only experience that is directly available to you is your sensory data. This sensory data is merely a stream of electrical impulses that stimulate your computing center. Bomb #20: In other words, all that I really know about the outside world is relayed to me through my electrical connections. Doolittle: Exactly! Bomb #20: Why...that would mean that...I really don't know what the outside universe is really like at all for certain. Doolittle: That's it! That's it! Edited June 18, 2016 by Jabron1 1
Shanex Posted June 19, 2016 Posted June 19, 2016 Love is life. Where there is no love, there is no life. Simply put but true. When there is hate, there is death. Sorry about the sardonic analogy. 1
Leigh 87 Posted June 19, 2016 Posted June 19, 2016 Love to me is a connection, there has to be some kind of spark be it slow burn or instant fireworks, in combination with a great friendship. And the two parties having the emotional capacity to love another. Making someone the centre point of your life- by which you base mos big decisions around. Finding that person at a stage where you are not feeling any pressure to get married/ have kids.... Working hard to create harmony when your individual shortcomings and flaws hamper it--- and going through some tears and tantrums because you adore them and love them deeply WANT them by your side not because you NEED a partner. I never found love via seeking it out or being desperate for a relationship. When the going got tough I realised that I didnt infact, " love" the guy enough to work out personal differences. I just was desperate to fnd the one at the time abd tried to fit a square peg into a round hole.
Leigh 87 Posted June 19, 2016 Posted June 19, 2016 Love is seeing someone at their absolute worst---I don't just mean six days of stubble and a bad attitude, but irrational and snippy for whatever reason and generally being no fun to be around---and knowing you'd be utterly devastated to live without them. My thoughts exactly.
todreaminblue Posted June 19, 2016 Posted June 19, 2016 love is the light of life, love is hope love breathes care in despair, love is in disaster zones, love is walking among the wounded, the dying , the lost, spread from one to another to another, like a permanent ripple in a sea of desolation, love moves with grace in a slow tango of tears through loneliness, with fleet of foot, slight of hand, turns tears into a tangle of smiles, love works hardest to give hope to the hopeless, whispers promises of home to the lost, lauds friendship to the friendless in a still clear voice to be heard, just a whisper on a thread about love, between broken hearted threads about love love is the light of life, love is hope, love is as love does, love is life love is the chance of us all ... thanks thread posters for my last verse......i love that one the most..i think i might try and gather words from all the posts on the thread and make a poem...:0)..i think that would be cool....deb 3
carnelian Posted June 19, 2016 Posted June 19, 2016 Sometimes you don't find love. Love finds you. Think about it.( It may be unreciprocated). You can embrace love or run from it. Either way you will not forget it. Originally from Patti Davis, daughter of Pres. Reagan in The Long Goodbye.
Weezy1973 Posted June 19, 2016 Posted June 19, 2016 Love is an emotion. From a purely biological perspective, love is the emotion that drives us towards and rewards us for behaviors that encourage our reproductive success. The strongest love we feel is almost always either familial, romantic or friendship based. The opposite of love is fear. Fear is an emotion that drives us away from behaviors that could compromise our reproductive success. Problems arise when people fear the loss of love (fear of rejection, fear of abandonment etc.). And this seems to be a major theme in a great many LoveShack posters, which is sad indeed.
todreaminblue Posted June 19, 2016 Posted June 19, 2016 (edited) Love is an emotion. From a purely biological perspective, love is the emotion that drives us towards and rewards us for behaviors that encourage our reproductive success. The strongest love we feel is almost always either familial, romantic or friendship based. The opposite of love is fear. Fear is an emotion that drives us away from behaviors that could compromise our reproductive success. Problems arise when people fear the loss of love (fear of rejection, fear of abandonment etc.). And this seems to be a major theme in a great many LoveShack posters, which is sad indeed. i was talking with my youngest daughter the other day about the risk of broken hearts when you love someone.....a friend said to her...why do you do this..give chances to someone who has hurt you before....why would you take a risk when you only get your heart broken....and she said to my daughter (when it is me who has to watch it and pick up the pieces after).....my daughter believes its worth the risk to try for love... just like i do.....and every time i try for love or allow love in my life...i have fear......i do not take love for granted..... i dont believe the opposite of love is fear.....i believe the opposite of love...is ....feeling nothing......courage is acting in spite of fear not the absence of it.....love is full of courage....and often...full of fear...for if you didnt fear losing that other person ....or having them go away...is that love? fear for them and about them..its part of the risk....and every single person who has truly loved another...or truly loves another...has fear.....fear allows vulnerability...shows vulnerability..love si a vulnerable place......and allows people to love greatly and do great things...in spite of that vulnerability..because of that vulnerability..if you do not fear.you are not vulnerable or allow yourself to be vulnerable...then you do not truly love......deb Edited June 19, 2016 by todreaminblue
Weezy1973 Posted June 19, 2016 Posted June 19, 2016 i was talking with my youngest daughter the other day about the risk of broken hearts when you love someone.....a friend said to her...why do you do this..give chances to someone who has hurt you before....why would you take a risk when you only get your heart broken....and she said to my daughter (when it is me who has to watch it and pick up the pieces after).....my daughter believes its worth the risk to try for love... just like i do.....and every time i try for love or allow love in my life...i have fear......i do not take love for granted..... i dont believe the opposite of love is fear.....i believe the opposite of love...is ....feeling nothing......courage is acting in spite of fear not the absence of it.....love is full of courage....and often...full of fear...for if you didnt fear losing that other person ....or having them go away...is that love? fear for them and about them..its part of the risk....and every single person who has truly loved another...or truly loves another...has fear.....fear allows vulnerability...shows vulnerability..love si a vulnerable place......and allows people to love greatly and do great things...in spite of that vulnerability..because of that vulnerability..if you do not fear.you are not vulnerable or allow yourself to be vulnerable...then you do not truly love......deb Great post Deb - yes I agree to love fully is incredibly courageous and the fear that love will be lost is in us all. But to step away from finding love, because of fear is never okay. And A LOT of people do exactly that. They're not willing to go all in. And you absolutely have to expose everything and be completely vulnerable to experience true love (both giving and receiving). Fear prevents that. Indifference (as you describe it) is just numbness - it is neither love nor fear. It is what people strive for when fear wins. They'd rather be numb, than be afraid. Fear is the opposite of love. Numbness is a defense mechanism against fear.
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